How to include MoB more in wedding party.

arinee

My fiance and I have already chosen our attendants and have an even number of people on each side.  I have chosen not to have a Maid of Honor because most of my closest friends have always been men and many of my family members have passed away.  My mom is my best friend.  I considered asking her to be my MOH, but decided against it because I was afraid I couldn't honor her properly as my mother if she was busy with MOH duties.  My fiance and I want our attendant list to stay the way it is and keep the even number.  However, I want a special way to honor my mom, not only as my mother, but as my friend, on our wedding day.  Can our parents sit at the head table?  What other ways could I honor my mother?

RaptorSLH

I've seen a unity ceremony done by the mothers, to symbolize the joining of families.  We're probably doing this, because I strongly suspect my mother will be hurt if dad walks me down the aisle, and dad gets a dance, but she gets nothing.

sister2groom

I really don't see how MOH duties are really that different from MOB duties. She'll probably get ready with you then spend the whole ceremony towards the front of the church, the real difference is whether she's standing or sitting.

Regardless, maybe you can give her your bouquet instead of tossing it. You could also get her a bracelet or something to give to her your wedding day as a special token to remember your wedding day.

em01092

I agree with sister. I also like the unity candle idea. Or, of your dad is walking you down the aisle, she could meet you at the alter and give you away with your dad, if you are into that tradition. You could also make some sort of toast at the reception or RD, perhaps. I would def get her a gift and give it to her in private the morning of your wedding.

I would caution you against a head table. They are widely unpopular now, as they separate your WP from their dates. What you could do instead is called a captains table. Same as a head table, but their dates sit across from them so everyone is together. Think about it: it's pretty crappy to split people up from their dates, since you know, you're kind of celebrating the unity of you and your FI, KWIM?

Remember, sides don't have to be even. People are more important that numbers. Also, the only MOH duties are showing up in the dress and smiling for pictures, along with holding your bouquet and signing your marriage license. Anything else is a gift and parties/showers are not requirements of a MOH.

MairePoppy

As an MOB, I agree with you that just being the MOB is a great honor. Write a letter to your mom, telling her how you feel about her. You could present it to her while the two of you are getting ready for your wedding. That will be something she will treasure for a very long time.

You could ask her to sign your marriage certificate, since you won't have a MOH, if a witness signature is required.

You could have both parents escort you down the aisle. Your groom's parents could escort him, if you want to honor all parents.

You could have both sets of parents sit at your table at the reception. Let the wedding party members sit with their dates at another table.

RaptorSLH

Oh, and remember that if you do want to stick to your existing wedding party, it's OK to have a man of honor.  If your closest friends are male, there's no reason not to include them.  Only difference between a male and female bride's attendant is that the male probably won't have to buy a dress, or help you into yours  ;-)

kaitlyn&henry

We included our parents in a rose ceremony and my mother and mil loved it (it was a surprise)....

our reverend basically gave a speech about how our mothers and fathers raised us to be who we are today, showed us how to love one another, and how to build a family...and that someday we will do the same. He said the rose symbolizes our growth under their nurturing care, beginning as a bud and eventually maturing into a beautiful flower. We then dedicated the roses to our mothers ( i to my MIL him to my mother but ive seen it done where you give it to your own parents).

if you want exact wording you can find some online...i think i downloaded mine from a ceremony website.

arinee

Thank you all for your thoughts and ideas.
My mom actually will be escorting me down the aisle, as my father passed away when I was 16.  I love the rose ceremony idea.  I'll definately be looking into that.