Bachelorette Bullying

astropills

Hi everyone, 

I'm the MoH in my friend's wedding. My bride really wants to go to Vegas for her Bachelorette. Her fiance is going somewhere crazy for his bachelor party, and I understand that she doesn't want her party to pale by comparison... But I (and the rest of the wedding party) simply cannot afford this.

Worse: the finance keeps pressuring me, sending me texts and e-mails about Vegas deals, packages, flight prices and planning surprises for her during this would-be bachelorette trip. He is taking over my job! and forcing me into a corner. 

How can I get these guys off my back and set the record straight without upsetting them?

Please help!

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bachelorette-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:96852b79-3d40-4cf5-8448-66ac8f7e7abdPost:90125d8d-baed-46bf-9aa2-0f324f5d438a">Bachelorette Bullying</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone,  I'm the MoH in my friend's wedding. My bride really wants to go to Vegas for her Bachelorette. Her fiance is going somewhere crazy for his bachelor party, and I understand that she doesn't want her party to pale by comparison... But I (and the rest of the wedding party) simply cannot afford this. Worse: the finance keeps pressuring me, sending me texts and e-mails about Vegas deals, packages, flight prices and planning surprises for her during this would-be bachelorette trip. He is taking over my job! and forcing me into a corner.  How can I get these guys off my back and set the record straight without upsetting them? Please help!
Posted by astropills[/QUOTE]

Tell them that it's extremely rude to plan their own bach. parties and that, while the trip sounds exciting, it is simply not within your budget.

Maybe plan an at-home "Vegas theme" instead?

vicki0508

ditto KB.  The bride shouldn't be involved in the planning.  Let her know that it's not in anyone's budget to go to Vegas, but she's more than welcome to foot the bill for everyone if it's that important to her.

Tell the fiance that you appreciate his suggestions, but you have it under control.  Or just ignore him.

MairePoppy

Send the groom back a message asking "are you paying?"
Don't let anyone pressure you into something you and the others can't afford.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bachelorette-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:96852b79-3d40-4cf5-8448-66ac8f7e7abdPost:866fa516-21db-426a-a20c-8799cf62bf9b">Re: Bachelorette Bullying</a>:
[QUOTE]Send the groom back a message asking "are you paying?" Don't let anyone pressure you into something you and the others can't afford.
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

Exactly this.  If her fiance wants to foot the bill then go for it.

Do what you can afford.  If the bride is unappreciative of the party that you planned then tell her to kiss your a$$!

Muffin'sMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bachelorette-bullying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:96852b79-3d40-4cf5-8448-66ac8f7e7abdPost:866fa516-21db-426a-a20c-8799cf62bf9b">Re: Bachelorette Bullying</a>:
[QUOTE]Send the groom back a message asking "are you paying?" Don't let anyone pressure you into something you and the others can't afford.
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

YES!!!

sparent2010

I am super mean and would tell them to go to vegas by themselves. That is stupid. Brides should be gracious and understand when the budget doesn't fit the dream. Hello planning a wedding not going to spend 24,000 if I can get away with 7,000.

They are both being rude. It is hard to tell someone to back off though. It is easy for us to say but 1000% harder to do. I would approach it and say hey we can do Vegas themed like KB said or set up a cool venue in your area and work with the other bridesmain and approach this as a united front hopefully it works out!

astropills

Thanks for the support, all! Nice to know I'm not crazy! I'll talk to my bride this weekend and try to set her straight (or, if I can't, get her fiance to pay for it!)

blahblah85

Maybe you could offer to take her to a local casino?  Say something like, "Vegas sounds awesome, and if I had the funds we'd totally go, but such and such is an hour's drive away, and its really nice."

kelnash89

Maybe suggest they go to Vegas for the honeymoon because it seems that is something they both would enjoy.

I would also ask the Bride what exactly about Vegas it is she wants. Spas? Do a weekend trip to a more affordable getaway. Shows? Pick one show in another big city that's close (Chicago, Kansas City, St Louis, etc) Gambling? There are wayyyyyyyy more affordable casinos else where. Cuisine? Pick the newest spot in town and make a girls night out.