Moms and Maids

Bridezilla?

Is it inappropriate to request that your 2 bridesmaids who are your sisters that are very light skinned to get spray tans? I have requested this and my sister refuses to even consider it and is offended I care so much about her skin tone. I love the sun and indoor tan year around please don't respond about that, that's not my question and they are wearing little black dresses. Am I being unreasonable
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Re: Bridezilla?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridezilla-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:993f4702-9aa2-404a-a1fb-2a3b42f44cf9Post:166d4bbc-f2b2-4860-b7c5-652fc02e3a5b">Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it inappropriate to request that your 2 bridesmaids who are your sisters that are very light skinned to get spray tans? I have requested this and my sister refuses to even consider it and is offended I care so much about her skin tone. I love the sun and indoor tan year around please don't respond about that, that's not my question and they are wearing little black dresses. Am I being unreasonable
    Posted by lmac2582[/QUOTE]

    You have got to be kidding me!

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridezilla-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:993f4702-9aa2-404a-a1fb-2a3b42f44cf9Post:166d4bbc-f2b2-4860-b7c5-652fc02e3a5b">Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it inappropriate to request that your 2 bridesmaids who are your sisters that are very light skinned to get spray tans? I have requested this and my sister refuses to even consider it and is offended I care so much about her skin tone. I love the sun and indoor tan year around please don't respond about that, that's not my question and they are wearing little black dresses. Am I being unreasonable
    Posted by lmac2582[/QUOTE]

    If you were my fake tanning sister and asked this of me, I'd smack that fake tan right off of you.
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  • That is not helpful?
  • Yes, you have crossed the line into bridezilla territory.
                       
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridezilla-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:993f4702-9aa2-404a-a1fb-2a3b42f44cf9Post:3eb6396a-0020-4c38-b3ba-d458be1bdc87">Re:Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]That is not helpful?
    Posted by lmac2582[/QUOTE]

    Telling you that I would resort to physical violence is not helpful in answering your question as to whether you are out of line?!?!?!??!???  Saying you would smack someone is usually an indicator as to just how far out of line you are on this.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • emwalsh1emwalsh1 member
    First Comment
    edited July 2012
    Wow, yes, to answer your question that is very unreasonable. I have never heard of a bride asking her bridesmaids to do something like that. Wow.
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  • Yes, you are being a bridezilla.  I'm very fair-skinned and would be wildly offended if someone asked me to get a tan for their wedding.  
  • Completely inappropriate and out of line for you to ask that of anyone. Their skin tone is of no concern to you. If you like being tan, more power to you. Many people enjoy having a fairer skin tone. You're basically saying you don't like how they look as is, which is incredibly crappy of you.


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    Vacation
  • I am very pale myself. Quite frankly, I would look stupid with a tan because I have red hair, a rosy porcelain complexion, and freckles. I would laugh in your face if you asked me to fake bake for your wedding.

    This goes for anything about your bridesmaids' appearance. You can't ask them to cut or dye their hair, to cover or remove piercings or tattoos, or anything. You asked them knowing they are pale. Is it really more important to you that they be tan (or orange, as is more likely with a spray tan) in your pictures than that they're standing up there at all?
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridezilla-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:993f4702-9aa2-404a-a1fb-2a3b42f44cf9Post:13bd0e43-f6a4-4ade-8031-38d3bda724df">Re: Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Completely inappropriate and out of line for you to ask that of anyone. Their skin tone is of no concern to you. If you like being tan, more power to you. <strong>Many people enjoy having a fairer skin tone.</strong> You're basically saying you don't like how they look as is, which is incredibly crappy of you.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

    Yep.  My Greek DH laughs at his Irish/French wife who uses Neutrogena SPF 100.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridezilla-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:993f4702-9aa2-404a-a1fb-2a3b42f44cf9Post:166d4bbc-f2b2-4860-b7c5-652fc02e3a5b">Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it inappropriate to request that your 2 bridesmaids who are your sisters that are very light skinned to get spray tans? I have requested this and my sister refuses to even consider it and is offended I care so much about her skin tone. I love the sun and indoor tan year around please don't respond about that, that's not my question and they are wearing little black dresses. Am I being unreasonable
    Posted by lmac2582[/QUOTE]

    Unfortunately honey, you are completely out of line.  You can't require them to do this, and it is rude to ask.  Essentially you are saying that how they look isn't good enough.  It's rude!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridezilla-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:993f4702-9aa2-404a-a1fb-2a3b42f44cf9Post:166d4bbc-f2b2-4860-b7c5-652fc02e3a5b">Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it inappropriate to request that your 2 bridesmaids who are your sisters that are very light skinned to get spray tans? I have requested this and my sister refuses to even consider it and is offended I care so much about her skin tone. I love the sun and indoor tan year around please don't respond about that, that's not my question and they are wearing little black dresses. Am I being unreasonable
    Posted by lmac2582[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>A good rule of thumb is, anything the bridesmaids can't take off within one minute of arriving home after your wedding is too much to ask of them - a dress - you can get that off and wear something you like within a minute. Shoes (if you're buying) - yes again. Jewlery - yup, that can come off quick. Spray tan - nope, that's a commitment. Hair dye - again, that's a bit too much to ask. Heavy duty makeup to cover a tattoo - that takes a while to wash off so this is also an inappropriate request. </div><div>
    </div><div>If I were your sister, I would totally not back down on this. I have really sensitive fair skin and I don't even want to know what kind of discomfort a spray tan would cause, considering some common makeup brands wreak havoc on me. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>Also, black looks great on pale people. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
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  • Besides being totally out of line, think about this. Many spray tans look streaky and turn people orange. That would look absolutely terrible and it would be embarrassing for your sisters. It wouldn't even look like them. Do not make this request of them. One of my best friends has some of the palest skin I've seen. Everyone was asking her if she was going to tan for her wedding and she said no. She was absolutely gorgeous with her porcelein complexion on her wedding day (she was also in my wedding wearing a black dress and no, I absolutely did not ask her to tan).


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    Vacation
  • Definitely unreasonable. You basically just said to her, "I don't like the way you look. Please change it."
  • I think if you have to ask if you are being a bridezilla, you probably are =) I myself am a fan of spray tans, but I think the most you can do is say hey guys I'm getting a spray tan for my wedding if anyone is interested in coming with me. Then if they say no, the answer is no, you can't request/demand they go.
    A fair skin friend got a spray tan for my sister's wedding, as did some other BMs, but she looked so completely orange! Don't even be upset they are refusing because it's for the best.

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  • Bahahaha - yes, it's out of line!
  • Yep, totally bridezilla. I am one of THE palest people (except for all the freckles) and would no way consider such a ridiculous request. Believe it or not, everybody doesn't like to look tan. If I were you I'd apologize and drop it.
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  • OP-  are you sensing a theme here?  Yes, you are out of line.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridezilla-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:993f4702-9aa2-404a-a1fb-2a3b42f44cf9Post:166d4bbc-f2b2-4860-b7c5-652fc02e3a5b">Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it inappropriate to request that your 2 bridesmaids who are your sisters that are very light skinned to get spray tans? I have requested this and my sister refuses to even consider it and is offended I care so much about her skin tone. I love the sun and indoor tan year around please don't respond about that, that's not my question and they are wearing little black dresses. Am I being unreasonable
    Posted by lmac2582[/QUOTE]


    I dont see anything wrong with it if you mentioned it in the right way, without pushing it on them. I would make a "Girls Trip" out of it...just ask them if they would like to have a pampering bridesmaids day...do pedicures, manicures, and a spray tan. But you would obviously be paying. Call it bonding time. If they are upset by it tell them its not a problem we can just do pedi/mani's.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridezilla-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:993f4702-9aa2-404a-a1fb-2a3b42f44cf9Post:d10dd5fd-a693-4cdd-b650-b4f3e8973678">Re: Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Bridezilla? : I dont see anything wrong with it if you mentioned it in the right way, without pushing it on them. I would make a "Girls Trip" out of it...just ask them if they would like to have a pampering bridesmaids day...do pedicures, manicures, and a spray tan. But you would obviously be paying. Call it bonding time. If they are upset by it tell them its not a problem we can just do pedi/mani's.
    Posted by melissa27w[/QUOTE]

    No...just no.  All of that is very manipulative and underhanded.
    image

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  • OP - you do realize  that "pale is in", correct?  You look at a lot of celebrities in LBDs and they are pretty pale.  Pale is healthy, pale is how our skin NATURALLY looks.  Just because you like to darken yours doesn't mean others do.  Yes, you are being a bridezilla.  That was your question and you have had an overwhelming response with a yes vote.  Let it go and apologize for trying to micromanage her skin color.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridezilla-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:993f4702-9aa2-404a-a1fb-2a3b42f44cf9Post:e8ffc68a-7c40-4d1d-a2e0-ef749505b5d8">Re: Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP - you do realize  that "pale is in", correct?  You look at a lot of celebrities in LBDs and they are pretty pale. <strong> Pale is healthy, pale is how our skin NATURALLY looks.</strong> Just because you like to darken yours doesn't mean others do.  Yes, you are being a bridezilla.  That was your question and you have had an overwhelming response with a yes vote.  Let it go and apologize for trying to micromanage her skin color.
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    Not always.  I don't know where you live but right now I can look out my office window and count about twenty different complexions before spotting someone who is has porcelain skin.
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  • GLB - the point I was trying to make is OP thinks her sister is pale.  That pale color is her skin's natural color and it's healthy - not tanned.  I just want her to see that she is trying to micromanage what is her sister's normal, healthy, skin color.

    Unfortunately, my family put the "pasty" in white.  Ain't nothin porcelain about it - just pasty.  My girls sarcastically thank me for it every Summer.
  • Also OP, good job posting this on two different boards.  You got the same responses on both of them, but you still think you were justified in asking your sister to get a spray tan.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridezilla-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:993f4702-9aa2-404a-a1fb-2a3b42f44cf9Post:166d4bbc-f2b2-4860-b7c5-652fc02e3a5b">Bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it inappropriate to request that your 2 bridesmaids who are your sisters that are very light skinned to get spray tans? I have requested this and my sister refuses to even consider it and is offended I care so much about her skin tone. I love the sun and indoor tan year around please don't respond about that, that's not my question and they are wearing little black dresses. Am I being unreasonable
    Posted by lmac2582[/QUOTE]

    <div>Would you like it if your sisters asked you to stop tanning for their weddings especially if it's something that you enjoy? You would probably say no because you enjoy tanning. Your sisters may enjoy having pale skin.</div><div>
    </div><div>Demanding them to get fake and bake tans, may turn them orange. Do you want your sisters to look like orange oompa loompas from willy wonka for your wedding?</div><div>
    </div><div>Yes, you are acting like a bridezilla, and you should apologize to your sisters.</div>
  • Yeah, I'd say that what their skin looks like is not something within your control.  I don't really see why so many people see fair skin as unattractive.  If someone wants to be tan, that is their choice.  If someone does not want to be, that is also their choice.  You probably made them feel bad by pretty much telling them that you are unhappy with the way they look and that they need to change it for you.  Most people on this planet are already self-conscious or sensitive about one thing or another when it comes to their appearance and having someone basically criticize you about how you look, that just makes things worse. 

    Let your sisters do what they are comfortable with.  Their skin being fair should not even be an issue.  Like pink34562000 said, you owe your sisters an apology.  There are bigger things in life to be concerned about...remember that!
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  • The short and polite answer is yes.
    "Love is like a butterfly; It goes where it pleases and pleases where it goes" David & Roxy March 2, 2013 Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Best. Post. Ever.

    I'm sorry you got demonized, I'm sure you're generally a nice person who just got carried away.  Glad you got your answer(s).
  • Inappropriate.  

    Also, as a side note, spray tans aren't necessarily safe.  People can have VERY severe reactions to those chemicals both on their skin and in their lungs.  
  • Yes you are out of line, though I guess I didn't need to say that as it is very apparent above. 
     
    I am also somewhat amused because I am very pale myself and three of my four bridesmaids are as well.  We often joke that snow is our natural camouflage.  The four of us pale gals will look like ghosts next to my BM from India and I can't wait!  Lol  

    GoodLuckBear- My olive skinned FI makes fun of me for my 50 SPF!  I am not a redhead, but I am of Irish decent.  I am either white or red. :-)
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