MOB & MOG want the same dress

Shjarlo

Hi All,
I'm not really quite sure what to do in this situation.  My mom lives down in Florida and has gone dress shopping on her own.  She has not purchased anything but has two very specific dresses in mind and wants to wear navy blue.  Her and I will be going shopping when she comes to visit me in April so we can settle on a dress for her.  My FMIL does not have internet so I could not show her the dresses my mom is looking at and I did not know she was ready to go shopping.  My fiance and I stopped by my FMIL's house and she tells us that she purchased a dress for our wedding and wanted to show us.  She pulls out a navy blue dress that is the exact style my mom wants to wear.  Do I ask my FMIL to return the dress so my mom can have it or should I ask my mom to try and find something else?

em01092

While it's customary and nice for the MOG and MOB to talk about who is wearing what before any purchases are made, it's not required. It sucks, but your FMIL has already purchased her dress, so I think it'd be rude of you to ask her to return it. I would delicately mention to your mom that your FMIL got a dress and it's navy, so perhaps she should consider a different color or a different style. 

Honestly, I do think it'd be a little odd for MOG and MOB to be in the same color and same style, but it wouldn't be the worst thing if your mom really wants to wear navy. They won't be in that many pictures together. 

graysquirrel

It would be very rude to ask your FMIL to return her dress. She didn't know that your mom was looking at something similar, it isn't like she did it on purpose. It would probably start things out on a bad foot as her DIL, too, if you were to go to her and say "Um, my mom wants that dress so you need to take that one back." I would explain to your mom what FMIL bought and let your mom decide what she wants to do.

Maggie0829

Even if it is the same style and color, the way the dress looks on a body varies from person to person.  I could wear the same dress as my sister would but since we are different shapes and heights the dress would look completely different on both of us.

I doubt that they will wear the exact same dress, but even if it is in the same style and color family it really doesn't matter.

MairePoppy

From an MOB, please don't ask your FMIL to return her dress.

Let your mom know that your FMIL purchased the navy blue dress that she was looking at. I'm sure your mom will be able to find something she likes out of the millions of dresses that are left. And who knows, she may not have liked it, once she tried it on.

MobKaz

When my sister-in-law was a MOG, she and the MOB wore different dresses but they were both champagne colored.  It was not an issue.

When I was a MOB, I was "warned" that the MOG bought a dress "almost exactly" like mine.  Mine was navy; hers was black.  It was a non issue again.

When I initially went shopping, I was armed with 6 pictures of dresses I thought would work for me.  Not one worked.  I went a completely different route.

I am currently looking for a dress to wear as the MOG this summer.  Many of the dresses I am considering have differing tops, but at least 5 have similar if not identical bottoms to the dress.  When looking at traditional/evening wear, you will find that there are often multiple variations on "theme".

I am sure that this will be a non issue for your mom as well.  You seemed to respond to the situation in a relatively calm and rational way.  My guess is you learned that from your mom , whom I bet will respond in kind.

LauraChristin

Please don't ask your FMIL to return her dress. Your mother is not more important than she is. MOB does not trump MOG. I would let your mother know that your FMIL chose that specific dress so that your mother doesn't purchase the identical dress. I see no reason why they cannot wear the same color, however.

nlindsay17

At my DD's wedding the MOG bought the same identical dress that I wore to my son's wedding. We did not say a word about it. As a matter of fact I liked that dess so much I bought a similar style for my DD's wedding but thankfully in a different color. When my DD told me about the MOG's dress I told her that we would compliment each other well.

mbody

Don't ask your FMIL to return her dress- that's rude. Tell your mom that she purchased a navy blue dress is blah blah style and just let your mom decide what she wants to do with that information.

Personally, I wouldn't give a hoot if my mom and my FMIL wear the same color, same dress, similar styles, whatever. That's really not on my list of things I actually care about.

lenergyrlah

It's very rude to ask someone to return a dress.  However some people don't like to match so it might be good to give your mom a heads up that FMIL already bought the dress she was looking at.  If they both already bought the dress, I would tell them both that they actually ordered the same dress, and that if they want to match it's fine with you but if not they have time to look for something else.

Shjarlo

Hi Ladies,
Thank you for all of your help.  I chatted with my mom and we agreed it would be best for her to find a different style dress so the Moms do not look matchy matchy.

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mob-mog-want-the-same-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:9c65806f-042f-4aa9-b405-aae45424fc8bPost:166f1829-0ae9-439f-ba3d-536544226a10">Re: MOB & MOG want the same dress</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't ask your FMIL to return her dress- that's rude. Tell your mom that she purchased a navy blue dress is blah blah style and just let your mom decide what she wants to do with that information. <strong>Personally, I wouldn't give a hoot if my mom and my FMIL wear the same color, same dress, similar styles, whatever. That's really not on my list of things I actually care about.
</strong>Posted by mbody[/QUOTE]

Me neither. If they both want to wear bright orange with yellow polka dots, go right ahead lol.

CindyB328

Last summer I attended a wedding. The bridesmaids wore a pale lavender and the MOB and MOG both wore the same deeper shade of purple. It was stunning! Now a days, there are no rules.