Moms and Maids

Future Mom-In-Law Wants Hair & Make-Up Done With Us...Help!

First time poster and hoping you lovely ladies can help me out here.  :) 

I sent a note to my bridesmaids asking if anyone would be interested in having their hair and make up done.  That night, I saw one of my BMs (who happens to be my fiance's sister/daughter of future mother in law) and she said she'd love to have both hair and make up done.  

A few minutes later, my BM asked if future mother in law could also have her hair and make up done with us.  I panicked and said yes, but I'm starting to regret it.  Any advice on how to either get myself out of this or how I can have her participate without being with us the whole time would be appreciated! 

Re: Future Mom-In-Law Wants Hair & Make-Up Done With Us...Help!

  • I'm not really sure what the issue is here... 
  • edited February 2013
    My daughter's stylist assigned times to each person so everyone wouldn't be there the whole time. The last two to make appointments were the MOG and SOG, so they were assigned to the 6 am slot for a 2pm wedding. They opted to go with me to my hair salon at 9.
  • There is no nice way to "get yourself out of this". You said yes to her and now you need to honor that.

    Why don't you want her there? And why would you tell her yes if you don't want her there?
  • Why don't you want her there?
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • I'm not sure why this is a problem.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I don't really see the problem.

    My MIL basically invited herself along to get her hair and makeup done by the same people doing mine and my BMs.  I wasn't thrilled because she made the scheduling a bit difficult.  She wanted to be done last so that her hair and makeup would stay nice all day.  I didn't want to be uber rude but I told her the last appointment slot was for me.  Because out of everyone, I should be the one looking the most fresh.

    Anywho, she came, got her hair and makeup done (we had it all done at my home) and then she left to make sure her son and the other guys were up and getting ready as well as get dressed herself.

    Needless to say, this wasn't a hill worth me dying on so I just let it all go.  You already said yes, so just suck it up and deal with it.

  • cappiellogcappiellog member
    First Comment
    edited February 2013
    @mairepoppy That's an awesome idea!   This way, she can still participate in the fun/ spend time with us AND I can still get some one-on-one time with my mom and BMs!!! Thank you!

  • Is there a timing concern, a price concern, or a "I wanted to use this time to bond with my BP without moms" concern? Or is there a cap on how many people your stylists can manage?

    I think you are stuck now. It is much harder to uninvite someone than to invite someone. You will hurt her feelings on a day that is very important to her. If there's a timing concern, work with your makeup artist/hair stylist to start earlier. If it is a price concern, send her the price list so it's clear you're not covering it. If it is that you wanted it to be BP-only time, just tell her that and give her an arrival time of just before her appointment and an exit time right after her appointment.

  • man I just typed out this whole thing and then the knot ate it...  anyway, synopsis:

    It shouldn't be a big deal that your MIL wants to hang out with you that morning (especially since her daughter will be there).  You can try the time slot thing but don't let it stress you out if it doesn't work.  I gave MIL a time slot (and everyone else) and she still arrived at the very beginning and just hung out the whole time.  Frankly I'm glad we got to spend that time together; I believe it was a nice memory for her rather than trying to find a salon in an unfamiliar town and spending the morning by herself.  Just relax and let it be.

  • This sounds very rude to me... I never not once considered not having my MIL come...Ive already made all the appts for my girls and my MIL was involved just like everyone else. Im sure if this is a timing problem, you can have another stylist on board to help.. Not including her and wanting to spend just time with your mom and BM's is rude. After all you have her the rest of your life to deal with her
  • Kate - your puppy is precious : )

  • OP please come back and let us know why you don't want the MOG with you that morning. If you have valid reasons to not have her there, we may be able to give better advice. My FI is under strict orders to ensure his mom doesn't drop in on me that morning. The woman is nuts and actually caused me to get a case of shingles from the stress she was putting on me.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • You can't exactly uninvite her now, but yeah I'd be interested to know why you don't want her to come along.
  • Honestly OP? What is the big deal? She wants to be there with you, shouldn't that make you happy? Some people's FMILs want nothing to do with them.


  • My MIL was there when I was getting ready.... really have no idea what the problem is.  She's not some outsider, she's a soon to be family member.

    Unless of course she's crazy or something, that changes the game a bit.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten



  • Yea, I don't get the issue either.  When I offered up the person doing my hair/make-up to the BM to see if any of them wanted to get it done, I included the mom's.  I knew my mom would want it, so why wouldn't the MOG?  She's just as important as my mom...
  • I don't see the issue either, Will she be getting ready with you also? If not, then there shouldn't really be any issue.... You'll get BM time when you're putting dresses on. Maybe even have breakfast with the BM's beforehand too..
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • In Response to <a href="">Re: Future Mom-In-Law Wants Hair & Make-Up Done With Us...Help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't see the issue either, <strong>Will she be getting ready with you also? If not, then there shouldn't really be any issue.... </strong>You'll get BM time when you're putting dresses on. Maybe even have breakfast with the BM's beforehand too..
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]
    Even still, I don't get the issue.  We're having someone come to us and rented out basically an empty hotel room (instead of beds, it's a coffee table with chairs, a bathroom, and a full kitchen.  I'm getting breakfast for everyone and we're just doing everything there with all of them.  For the girls who aren't getting their hair & make-up done, I'm leaving it up to them as to when they want to join us (right when I get into my dress for photos or before to hang out with us and enjoy breakfast).
  • Again, OP may have a valid reason. My FMIL is nuts. She's super critical and manipulative, and just plain cuckoo. No way will I spend the morning of my wedding walking on eggshells around her. So, for some, having their FMIL around while getting ready, could be an issue. You don't know the background here on their relationship.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards