Moms and Maids

Re: nm thanks

  • Magdala9Magdala9 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Let it go.....

    She sounds extremely jealous of your happiness.  If this read is true, she may be trying to create drama so that she will have your company in her misery.   To frustrate her aims, don't let her manufacture drama. 
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bm-drama-not-typical-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:a01ae9b5-fafe-491e-9b18-91b7b3760abbPost:c479fd33-efae-4a6e-ac75-d4c456f23d04">BM Drama, not your typical problems</a>:
    [QUOTE]One of my BMs is moving several weeks before the wedding because her boyfriend of not even a year in a different state where she met him.  Which I'm happy for her, big steps.  My issues have been festering for months: 1st:  when seeing my new ring she said that her not even boyfriend yet was going to get her a bigger ring 2nd: she tweaks out on me when I invite her over because I never drive to her when she doesn't even invite 3rd: got mad at me because I wanted the brides maid dress shopping just us thing but she wanted to bring her mom (which I aksked if she wouldn't).  I turned out being the bad guy even thought I really don't talk to her mom. 4th: criticizes our other friend and me when we have drinks on the weekends (IF she comes over) even though not long before she was a drunk who did too many dumb things to count 5th: when her bf is in town she won't take the time for us to meet him 6th: changed the bachelorette party to accommodate to her moving schedule. 7th: complains about having to buy a plane ticket even though she could move after the wedding and save money (she doesn't have a job out there yet) 8th: more than likely to miss the grooms dinner/rehersal dinner -- not a big deal but its our time to celebrate with close friends and family before the big ordeal. This is all frustrating because she's making it about herself, when Its my day. I know I sound selfish, but I don't have patience when I'm so stressed from non-wedding things: my mom has cancer and I have to take care of her because my dad died when I was young from cancer... I don't know what to do...  I am tired of crying everyday. thanks
    Posted by kneidenfeuhr[/QUOTE]

    Believe it or not, these ARE typical problems:
     
    1. Forget about the ring thing. It was insensitive, but if you love your ring, who cares?

    2. This is not critically important. Irritating yes, friendship-ending, no.

    3. Whatever, she wanted to bring her mom, you said "no". End of issue.

    4. Calling your friend "a drunk" is not nice.

    5. When her bf is in town, she's busy with him. She's in a long distance relationship, and it's important to her.

    6. She couldn't attend the bachelorette because she was MOVING. So she changed it so she could go. It's better than skipping it, right?

    7.  You're not actually thinking that she should plan her moving date around your wedding.  Right?  Reality check, the world doesn't revolve around your wedding.

    8.  See #7.  She'll miss a dinner, one pre-wedding event.  Not a big deal.

    None of this means she's a bad bridesmaid. She may be self-centerd right now, but for good reason.  She's got a life-changing even happening too.

    I'm sorry to hear of your mom's illness.  Forget all of this and focus on her and the joy of having her here for your wedding.  All the rest of it is unimportant. Good luck!
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Why do you refer to your wedding as 'the big ordeal?' That sounds a bit ominous.

    Your friend sounds like a kvetch. Has she always been like that. Probably, and she is not going to change just because you are getting married. You can let it in one ear and out the other or find something else to do when she starts complaining.

    I'm sorry that your mom is sick. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. I hope you have another, more supportive friend to talk to.


                       
  • edited December 2011
    Why the delete, OP?  We were trying to help you.
  • edited December 2011
    I know, I feel awful...  I'm not a bad person and I feel terrible venting.  She's a good friend...   its my fault I knew who she was before I asked and her mentality is all about her...  which is ok, she's strongwilled
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    No one said you are a bad person. Venting, anonymously, on a message board is a good way to go. I hope you feel better.

    p.s. if that is your real last name, though, it would be better to create a new account with a screen name that is not recognizable.
                       
  • edited December 2011
    Yeah, if she was like that before your asked her, there would be no reason for her to change just 'cause you're getting married.  Y'know?

    Don't feel awful.  It's good to vent now and then, and then have someone come along and kind of point out reality.  That's why these boards are good.

    Focus on all the good things about your wedding.  It's not going to be an ordeal, it'll be lovely.  Keep your mind on the big picture and don't sweat the small stuff, OK?
  • edited December 2011

    Thank you :)  It's not an ordeal, I am SUPER excited for the wedding! 
    I have people going all directions, I just wanted an unbiased response like you all are giving and I appreciate it.

    thanks again!!

  • edited December 2011
    Go girl!  Have a great wedding.  :  )
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
     : )
                       
  • WildMageletWildMagelet member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Don't worry about it.  It all sounds pretty normal and NBD.  Enjoy your wedding.

    P.S. changing your post to stuff like "delete me" or "nevermind" grabs even more attention :)
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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