question

LAMuehlen

I want to start off with saying I'm posting this cause I don't want to come off to my girls as a bridezilla. I really really dont. So heres my question.

Since I'm planning a 1950's rockabilly theme wedding what can I ask of the bridesmaids? I mean like they'll be wearing 1950's swing dresses and my mom is making the crinoline petticoats that they wear under the dress. And I've arranged for a friend of mine who does hair and make up to do the girls hair and make up at no cost to the girls. Since they aren't paying can I ask them to have a hair and makeup style of the period done for the day? The reason I'd love this is because I'm always rocking the cat eyes and red lips and I'd love it if the girls could get in on that but I don't want to force them into something they aren't comfortable with. So should I just let them do there hair and make up how they please or can I ask them to have their hair and makeup done in styles of the 1950's?

Seriously, I don't want to be a bridezilla. I'm trying really hard to rangle in the crazy. I think all brides have the crazy to an extent. and then we're sane.

JaxInBlue

Since you are paying for hair and make up, I think it gives you a little more flexibility to make requests about specific styles.  That said, I think it's good of you to be concerned about their comfort that day.  Maybe you could think about sending the girls some pictures of the hair but also some less done up ones as well (maybe not typical wedding updos but maybe more along the lines of typical styles for everyday wear in the 1950s) and getting some opinions from them before the day of about what they prefer and what they would be comfortable wearing.  I'd do individual e-mails or have individual conversations with each girl so there's no group pressure.

I'm less inclined to ask them to wear a specific color or style of make up - individual skin tones and color palettes being what they are, a uniform look for something other than nail polish color (maybe?) might not look good on your whole party. 

So the cliff notes: you're paying so yes I think you can make some requests but I'd still make sure there were a range of options and that everyone was comfortable with the idea and I'd focus more on hair and less on make up.

msuprincess04

I agree with the pp. Because you are paying, you do have some say. I'd just tell them what you are thinking for hair and makeup and send them some examples. See what they think. Hopefully, you can get some good feedback. There may be girls who don't want to do extreme makeup and hair, but that doesn't mean they can't find something that will work with your style. I think you'll have fun and come up with some great compromises!

pgcp

I too think that since you are paying, you do get more of a say.  With that in mind please consider the other women's comfort and personal style in mind.  For example, I have very thin lips, even as a teen they were thin, red lipstick looks ridiculous on me.  If someone has really short (pixie) or super long, thick hair, don't expect that her hair will be able to be styled into an era typical style. 

MairePoppy

It's okay to ask them if they are willing to wear 50's style hair and makeup, since you are paying. But it should be a suggestion, not a requirement. If you ask them now, they will have time to look for pictures of styles that will suit them. I don't think brides should require specific, identical hair styles and makeup - ever - whether or not they are paying for them.

LAMuehlen

obviously id love to see the girls look their best, I hate the idea of looking back at my FI and I's wedding pictures and wondering what I was thinking, I'd love to see each girls individual personalities while still seeing the pin up girl hair and make up look. I know it would be wrong of me to ask the girls to go all out like Ill be doing(other than my hair, I actually won't be wearing my hair how I normall wear it since I found a updo better suited to how long my hair is) and I don't feel right telling the girls they have to do something when I myself isn't doing it. So I think I'm going to suggest it and let each girl do what she likes. I'd love to see each girl look like themselves while they stand up there with me.

mrskristinyc

Your wedding sounds awesome!

I'm letting my girls pick their dresses (within a few guidelines) because I want them toe be excited about what they're wearing, and frankly, I don't want to pick for them. We have a shared board on Pinterest that we all share photos to. 

I think you could give them a few options for hairstyles and let them pick. Then you're all happy.

LAMuehlen

as much as I want to do that, I have one bridesmaid(my future sil) who can't seem to follow guidlines. Im worried that if I ask all the girls follow a certain guidlines as long as what ever they want looks good on them she'd stick out like a sore thumb. my future sil is my one worry.

There has been wondering between my FI and I if shell even show up the day of the wedding. She's been known to throw fits if she doesn't get her way. I've already seen plenty of them. While I was trying to pick out bridesmaid dresses that were affordable. I was using facebook to send links to the girls and see what they liked for what I was finding online and what was affordable. She threw a hissy fit because I didn't pick the dress she wanted. The dress was close to three hundred dollars and didnt fit in my theme. Instead I picked the dress my moh picked that was 48 dollars and every other girl loved. I didnt stop hearing about how she was mad she didnt get to wear that three hundred dollar sexy little black dress that non of the other girls would ever wear(or could afford to buy. I have to MOHs both in college, one who just cant afford to spend 300 dollars on a dress she'll only wear once and one whom i work with and we only make minimum wage. Besides I didn't pay three hundred dollars for my wedding dress, why would I ask my girls to spend money on a dress I cant afford myself.

okay rant over.

LAMuehlen

anyways. this is the kinda look I had in mind for my bridesmaids to rock for the wedding




and this is what I had in mind for me







do these two styles look good together? or should I just let each girl do what she wants? I'm still torn