Just venting...Mom & MIL two different people.

JaxJ128

Oh boy had a little melt down tonight after talking to my mom. All this wedding planning is just a little stressful now that we went over the guestlist and we were at almost the 6 month mark. My MIL is pay the majority of the wedding so of course she has alot of say in how she wants to spend her money (fair) its justt frustrating because my mom and his mom are totally opposite in every way of life. My mom is type B and his is type A so everytime I talk to to my mom about something shes like "I dont know what to say I dont get her at all". I have to say I am proud of my mom for going with the flow of everything, I just feel so in the middle with them trying to explain how one works to the oher. My MIL is also MAJORILY controlling so things have to go her way...planning wise and doing things in a timely manner, she likes to have EVERYTHING done early....which is the complete oppsoite of my mom and  but is not a bad thing of course.  MY MIL recently sent us an email of a break down of everything she has paid for so far/and still has, just to keep us in the loop... she did write not to freak out just wanted us to know what was going on, I guess so thats how this whole meltdown tonight started. I asked her to give me a budget in the beginning and she wouldnt and just started spending here and there and now that she added evertying up she realized its alot more then she thought which she said she is okay with but has to budget the rest which is fair...BUT its funny because if its something SHE wants like a day of coordinator she will pay for it...something my mom doesnt think is neccessary at all and I dont either but if she wants it whatever.... Which I explain to her doesnt even matter because thats how she wants to spend her money. Do you see how this gets a bit overwhelming? Oh boy...anyways thanks for listening, if anyone reads this. 

Kristin789

My mom and MIL are very different too.  My suggestion for you is to just deal with your mom on stuff your mom is going to do, and just deal with FMIL on what she's going to do.

Do not put therm together.  They wouldn't be friends if they met in a grocery store's cooking class or anything else.  They are different.  Just because their kids are getting married doesn't mean that they are now special sisters.  They are the same people they were 5 years ago.

JaxJ128

Yea....well thats pretty much how its been going but my mom is ony paying for half of the reception and is going to try to pick up a couple things here and there so Im just trying to let her know whats going on so she doesnt feel left out but maybe she'd rather not know. And theres no way of not telling my mother in law whats going cuz shes controlling remember....shes got to know everything...oyyyyy veyyyyy LOL 

MairePoppy

It's nice to have someone who can keep things orderly during the planning, so I'm sure you appreciate your FMIL for that. But I get what you mean about her being controlling. If your mom is paying for half the reception, that should give her a lot of say in how things should be done, even if your FMIL is contributing more.

If your FMIL wants to pay for those extras, you should decide if you want to accept each item or not. Being a type A personality, it might be necessary for her to have a pro in charge so that she can relax and enjoy the wedding. So the DOC is more for her than it is for you.

If there are extras that you would like, then you should pay for them. I guess you should let FMIL know, so she can add them to her grand list of wedding planning. If you are paying, you don't have to include the cost.