I don't know what to do or where to turn to.

cheshirecat613

Let me explain before i get to my issue. I recently moved to AZ in 08. I just started to go to college and started to meet people. So i dont have strong connections like most people do with their bridesmaids like their high school friends or even longer friends. Most of my friends are 3000+miles away in another state and we talk on fb.

So anyways, I met my FI and we've been together 3yrs next month. We got engaged in Dec. and now were getting married in august. I have a great MOH. and i couldnt be happier. I asked my FI sister and she is easy going. But my other two BM, well not so much.

One of them i havent heard from in a few months. Her and her husband are standing in the wedding, he already said he isnt going to rent the same tux/suite the rest of the groomsmen are because he has a ton of them already, well we both want the groomsmen matching so thats going to cause an issue already. She is very quiet and isnt going to go wth the rest of us to do hair and makeup which is fine its her choice. the other BM is even more of a handful. She was going to plan my bacholerette party and she wanted to do it vegas but im getting married there and no one had the money for it. So she got upset by it i couldnt thank her enough but i have summer classes, one is a mother, the other is in another state and then one never responded. She then continued to say "Well lets have a party at my place to get wasted and high" ok i dont drink and i dont get high because I have  MS. again knowing the other women in the party i said no because i know she would invite others who were under age and i wouldnt want to be around that. I havent heard from her in going on 2 months.

I gave her credit for trying to plan my party. Its just when 2 bridesmaids one being a mother, one trying to be a mom, one being out of state and myself just trying to stay healthy, thats just not a lifestyle we want to be around. She is already complaining about the makeup and hair is too much since its 160 saying "they better make me look like a model" and complaining that since my wedding is 10 days before her friends 21st birthday since she has to come back to vegas. Its like her priorties are more important with partying and drinking where as mine is to be with family and having fun going to see shows and showing people a good time. I can only have two drinks and im walking funny. thats not a good time for me.

What can i do about this issue? I mean I havent heard from these BM in awhile. I am not having a Bridal shower or a bacholette party. I am doing everything alot on my own or getting ideas from my MOH and vegas does alot for you anyways. so any and all advice here in this situation would be wonderful.

Maggie0829

Well with your first BM, I don't really see you having an issue with her so much as with her husband.  Your FI needs to speak with his GM and see what the issue is.  Maybe the rental suit is too expensive and since he has one similar thinks that will be fine (which it would).

Your second BM, I am not really seeing the issue here either.  You two seem to be at two different stages in your life, which is perfectly fine and normal.  You are looking to your future and will be getting married and starting a family, while she is single and looking at the here and now.  There is nothing wrong with these to lines of thought.

As for your second BM complaining about the cost of hair and makeup, are you requiring them to get it done?  If so, you need to pay for it.  If not, then I don't see why she is complaining because she can certainly not get it done professionally.

Finally, you will hear this a lot around here, but no one will think  your wedding is as important as you do.  Everyone has their own lives and likes certain things and enjoy spending their times differently.

I honestly do not think you have a problem here.  Your BMs have done nothing wrong.

OliveOilsMom

With the 2nd BM, it seems you are just growing apart.  This will happen in life.  It's just how it goes sometimes.  If you continue to see you are not seeing things eye to eye, you may need to evaluate the friendship.  But if at anytime you remove her from the WP, it is a friendship ending move, so be prepared for any fallout. 

I also would not want to spend $160 on hair and makeup.  That sounds a bit excessive, but since you are getting married in Vegas, that might be a standard price.  If she complains about the price further, just let her know she is welcomed to have her hair done on her own or anywhere else of her choosing, just let her know what time she has to be wear for pictures/ceremony.

And this GM will pull himself from the wedding if he does not rent the tux.  Make sure it is in his budget.  And have FI explain to him that if he doesn't get the proper clothes, he has removed himself from the WP.