Mother of the Bride, upset shes not MOH.

AmethystRockstar

When I first started planning my wedding, the first question my Mum asked me was "Who is your Maid/Matron of Honour?" When I told her I was going to ask my best and dearest friend who's more like a sister than a friends, she got all huffy saying, "Well! Most brides I knew used to ask their mother's to be the Matron of Honour!" Now as we continue planning, she's become more and more distant, even after I've told her she get's the most important job of giving me away with my Dad. She keeps telling me I'm rushing things. It's almost like she doesn't even want me to get married. We've always been really close, but every time I try to ask her about it, she shuts me out. What do I do??

Summer2011Bride

I don't think it's that she doesn't want you marrying; I think she got her feelings hurt (unnecessarily) and is pouting about it. Immature, but that's what it sounds like.

Continue planning without her. Don't share wedding details with her unless asked. I think that once the wedding day rolls around, she might come around. It's not personal. You don't have to ask her to be your MOH and she is probably just sore you didn't b/c she mistakenly had been assuming that for awhile. GL!

SSaltzman87

I too agree to limit what details you share with her. She's acting really childish.

kmmssg

I agree with limiting wedding details.  What you could do is sit down with her when neither of you is in an angry, defensive mood and talk to her.

"Mom, I have always looked forward to planning my wedding with you but you are choosing to make that impossible.  I have always seen you coming down the aisle as my mother, which is a very important role in inself.  I would like to continue planning with you but that will only happen if you can change your outlook and stop sulking."  Change that up as you need to.  If she agrees to give it a try, give her one more chance.  If she blows it, stop sharing information with her.

I do have one question; did she have HER mother as MOH?

jhedge

Oh boy sorry to hear that! My advice is to limit what you shre with her, or not bring up the wedding around her. I really have never her of MOB being the MOH!

ootmother2

You wedding is 3 1/2 years away.  You're about 3 years off for choosing your wedding party.

FutureJilliannD

I want to know if she had her mom as her MOH too. Also, I have never once in my life seen a wedding where the MOB was MOH.

Has she been supportive of your relationship until now? If so, then I would continue to tell her how much it means to you to have her plan with you and that you love having her involved. If that fails, then you may have to stop including her so much.

djoann958

I agree with ootmother2. It is way too early to pick your bridal party or for any other wedding planning. Just enjoy being engaged for now. Wedding planning is quite stressful (as you are finding out) , so don't rush into anything.

AmethystRockstar

Thanks gals! 

Though I agree with you on not sharing the wedding info with her, I don't wanna push her further away by not telling her. 

As for her MOH, I'm not sure who her first one was, I think it was one of her sisters, but her second wedding my grandmother WAS her MOH. So, it's a toss up to what in the world she's thinking! 

As for being early, I wanna have everything out of the way, that way none of us is freaking out when we're up to the wire. The only person I've really chosen is my MOH, I've always wanted my best friend, who is my adopted sister and much closer than my actual sisters, as my MOH. My fiance has also chosen his Best Man, but that's it as far as wedding party goes. Normally, I'm a person who is still making plans up the minute, but for my wedding, I didn't want to be that person, so my fiance and I agreed we'd plan everything now and get everything ready so we could actually enjoy our wedding. Oh, and we've also moved the date up to 2012. We decided not to wait so long.