Moms and Maids

Bridesmaid Dropped Out

So... I had one of my bridesmaids drop out of the wedding and it is only 6 months away. I have a friend that I have recently become very close with in the past year or so and I am considering asking her to be a part of the wedding party, but I'm sure it's going to come off as her being a replacement, when in actuality - I didn't know her when I first chose my bridesmaids.....

What do you all think? I don't know the proper ettiquette here...
Anniversary

Re: Bridesmaid Dropped Out

  • edited December 2011
      I wouldn't ask someone else. For the reason you already stated- you don't want your new friend to feel like a replacement.
  • edited December 2011
    Don't ask her. It will make her feel like a replacement. Just leave the WP the way it is and don't worry if the sides are going to be uneven.

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  • edited December 2011
    Nobody want to be a second string bridesmaid.  Uneven sides are fine if you are worried about that. 
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  • edited December 2011

    I definitely agree with you all. I too want to leave it as-is because I'm not at all concerned about uneven sides, but my parents are freaking out about it being uneven. Not really sure how they don't understand what I'm saying. How do I help them understand?

    Anniversary
  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    She WOULD be a replacement, there's no way around that.  Just stick to uneven sides.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dropped-out-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b3d494ee-3908-4611-8c41-eb04e7665c7dPost:268cc020-4c8b-48a8-929a-6248ed0b07fe">Re: Bridesmaid Dropped Out</a>:
    [QUOTE]I definitely agree with you all. I too want to leave it as-is because I'm not at all concerned about uneven sides, but my parents are freaking out about it being uneven. Not really sure how they don't understand what I'm saying. How do I help them understand?
    Posted by larsme01[/QUOTE]
    Ask them what's the worst thing that could possibly happen if you have uneven sides.  I'm willing to bet they won't have an answer.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • edited December 2011
    So far, they are just talking about the pictures and how it will look uneven at the front. But really, 5 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen... who's going to notice and/or count?
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    By "front" - I mean front of the church at the ceremony.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dropped-out-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:b3d494ee-3908-4611-8c41-eb04e7665c7dPost:268cc020-4c8b-48a8-929a-6248ed0b07fe">Re: Bridesmaid Dropped Out</a>:
    [QUOTE]I definitely agree with you all. I too want to leave it as-is because I'm not at all concerned about uneven sides, but my parents are freaking out about it being uneven. Not really sure how they don't understand what I'm saying. How do I help them understand?
    Posted by larsme01[/QUOTE]

    Google "uneven bridal party pictures" and show some of them to your parents. 
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  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dropped-out-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b3d494ee-3908-4611-8c41-eb04e7665c7dPost:924ba1f3-8995-4428-b74a-0d007974df39">Re: Bridesmaid Dropped Out</a>:
    [QUOTE]So far, they are just talking about the pictures and how it will look uneven at the front. But really, 5 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen... who's going to notice and/or count?
    Posted by larsme01[/QUOTE]

    <div>People's feelings trumps pictures. Plus wedding pictures if I remember correctly are taken because you want to remember that moment and the people in them, not the architectural alignment of how people are placed. </div>
  • edited December 2011
    leave your bridal party as it is.
  • eileeeneileeen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    If you wouldn't have asked her before the other one dropped out, don't ask her now.  She's still your close friend even if she isn't a bridesmaid.


    Good lucking calming down your parents.

  • squeakyducksqueakyduck member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dropped-out-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b3d494ee-3908-4611-8c41-eb04e7665c7dPost:924ba1f3-8995-4428-b74a-0d007974df39">Re: Bridesmaid Dropped Out</a>:
    [QUOTE]So far, they are just talking about the pictures and how it will look uneven at the front. But really, 5 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen... who's going to notice and/or count?
    Posted by larsme01[/QUOTE]

    <div>Nobody. I couldn't tell you how many BMs there were at a wedding I went to in August. </div><div>
    </div><div>Your photographer will know how to make pictures look good and not unbalanced. </div>
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  • edited December 2011
    My daughter did not.  I am attaching a picture here!

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  • edited December 2011
    MuffinsMom - lovely picture! We aren't having even numbers of BM/GM, and we planned it that way from the beginning. I'll be having three bridesmaids, FI has 4 groomsmen. Of course, since then, I too have friends I've grown close too while I don't get to see my BMs that much (other than sister/MOH) because they have moved several hours away (after we graduated). However, I know it would be SUPER awkward to invite in new friends after I've already had BMs picked for over a year. I'm sure you new friend will be there to celebrate. Don't possibly put a wedge in your new relationship by asking her to fill a spot.
  • edited December 2011
    I would show your parents some cute pics of uneven wedding parties and show them you can't even notice that the numbers are uneven (not that it matters anyhow). It might be that when they got married, uneven parties were just unheard of. My mom didn't know about a lot of the stuff I mentioned for my wedding, like the B&G entrance at the reception or escort cards (she said it reminds her of prostitutes lol). Even if they continue to disagree, I would stand my ground and keep them as is.


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  • HeatherBobHeatherBob member
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If I were in that situation, I would not feel like a replacement. You can explain to her that she was not apart of your life when you first chose, and your BM dropping out is sort of like a sign that she needs to be apart of your wedding. Plus, who doesn't want to be a part of a wedding - they're fun!
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Heather. I am going through the same thing and made the mistake of posting the same thing as you to see what people thought, but here is what I learned...While it's very nice that other people are trying to give you helpful advice the only thing that matters is what YOU think not your parents (sorry if that sounds harsh) and no one else. Just talk to her, most ladies are mature enough to know that it's not that you are choosing them as "second best" you want her to be a part of your day and it just so happens things have worked out for the best and now she can be. Do what you want there is no right or wrong when it comes to weddings. One thing I have learned in the planning of my wedding is there is no limit on what you can do if you think it you can do it and no one elses opinion really matter in the end beside you and your Fiance. This is YOUR day and YOU can do whatever makes you happy. Sorry so long but I hope this helps
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