Is there a "too old" rule to being a bridesmaid?

lizzie.duvall

I'm considering asking my cousin/godmother to be a bridesmaid but she is over 40 and has 2 young children (who I am also asking to be in the wedding). I am in my early 20's as well as all the other girls in the party. Obviously, I know I can choose whomever I want/feel closest with, but do you think SHE would be uncomfortable with it? I think she would say yes no mater what, but I just wanted to ask opinions just incase it makes her feel weird or in an awkward position.

What would you feel if you were 40+ in a 20 year old's wedding?

megmac24

My sister is 37 (will be 38 at the time of my wedding) and I asked her to be my MOH. I'm in my early 20's as well. I chose my sister because she's who I wanted to be standing with me. I don't think she'll feel awkward at all. I think if your cousin is important to you and you really want her in your wedding then you should ask her. I think she'll be happy to do it. If she felt awkward, I'm sure she'd say something.

Summer2011Bride

Just ask her. If she feels uncomfortable for whatever reason, she can decline, but 40's isn't old and I doubt she would not feel up to it. Either way, it should be up to her to decide.

CassieeK

What's to be uncomfortable about? I am almost 40, and my bridesmaids are 27 and 42. 

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_there-old-rule-being-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b5194281-8e2c-4d04-8e55-80d999be8cc2Post:2b99ed47-b9f4-4ad1-8d7c-e35ddf18d10b">Re: Is there a "too old" rule to being a bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]What's to be uncomfortable about? <strong>I am almost 40,</strong> and my bridesmaids are 27 and 42. 
Posted by CassieeK[/QUOTE]

<div>I know you probably get tired of it, but I still don't believe you. You're really like 23. =P Hee hee</div><div>
</div><div> Seriously though, I hope I look half as good as you do when I'm almost 40. </div>

lizzie.duvall

Thanks for the advice! I think I'll leave the ball in her court and ask her!

The reason I ask is because no one in my family or friends has ever had this situation, so its very nontraditional for us. I was a junior bridesmaid in her wedding because I was 9 haha. So thats no help!

4LeafClover3

CassieeK... really?? I would've never guessed late thirties for you! I was think upper twenties!

Anyway... Lizzie, I would ask her. Leave it up to her if she wants to decline or not. I think she will be flattered!

CassieeK

Thanks, ladies!

lizzie.duvall

That wasn't what I was asking, but thanks.

eorea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_there-old-rule-being-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b5194281-8e2c-4d04-8e55-80d999be8cc2Post:2b99ed47-b9f4-4ad1-8d7c-e35ddf18d10b">Re: Is there a "too old" rule to being a bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]What's to be uncomfortable about?<strong> I am almost 40</strong>, and my bridesmaids are 27 and 42. 
Posted by CassieeK[/QUOTE]

<div>Yea, I know it's been said but Wow. I am 24 and you look younger than me. lol.</div><div>
</div><div>Gorgeous! </div>

blush64

40 isn't old. I think she would feel fine with it. 

lizzie.duvall

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_there-old-rule-being-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:b5194281-8e2c-4d04-8e55-80d999be8cc2Post:bea3b0ae-c5c5-4177-9111-0af9600b73ba">Re: Is there a "too old" rule to being a bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]That's exactly what you asked. Excluding a dear friend because of their age (which is probably very hurtful to them) does violate a rule....it's rude. Pick the people to whom you are closest. You're making a milestone step in life, and wouldn't dream of it unless they're at your side.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<p style="margin:0in 0in 0pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:8.5pt;color:#1f1f1f;font-family:Arial;">I'm well versed in wedding etiquette thanks haha! I am not excluding anyone, as my post says, but merely considering her feelings before I ask. And I wanted to see if anyone was in a similar situation.</span></p>

lizzie.duvall

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_there-old-rule-being-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:b5194281-8e2c-4d04-8e55-80d999be8cc2Post:815095a0-907d-4ac8-98a1-3f1b195b2e98">Re: Is there a "too old" rule to being a bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think her feelings would be hurt if she knew you were thinking of excluding her on the basis of her age. P.S.  Little cracks like "ha ha" or "so there" are viewed as immature at best and rude at worst on these boards.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

You really are a gem. I've stated now 3 times that I'm not considering excluding her, but I want to know what she might be feeling. And just fyi just because you post in every board on this site, you are not an expert by any means. Your comments spread enough rudeness that can't even begin to compare to a "haha".