Moms and Maids
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Apathy...long semi-vent

Hey knotties,

Just wondering if anyone is/has been in the same boat as me. I have 2 BMs that just don't seem to care...at all. I know it could be much worse, like dealing with people who want to control everything, but it kinda makes me sad that my BMs haven't really been involved. Both are family too.

I'm really enjoying the planning and not asking much of anyone. We're about 5 months out now, so I sent them a few emails about BM dresses with links of some ideas I had, asking what they thought. I basically told them they can pick whatever they like and feel prettiest in that is long, flowy, and purple. Neither have responded to me, or talked to each other, and it's been 2 weeks.

I also sent them both a sneak of my engagement pics. One responded and said they looked nice, the other didn't respond but told me she forwarded it to a friend of hers to see what he thought.....ugh.

I know people are busy and have their own lives...is it really too much to ask for a *little* involvement and excitement? Especially in picking what THEY will be wearing??

#bummed

Re: Apathy...long semi-vent

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    Just remember that no one will be as excited about your wedding as you are.  Some people just aren't wedding people. 

    Since they are so un-interested in everything.  I would just ask them their budget for the BM dress privately.  Then take the lowest budget and pick a dress accordingly.  Then send an email asking them to purchase by x date.  If they don't purchase the dress, they have removed themselves from the wedding.
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    [QUOTE] Do you ever talk to them without mentioning your wedding?  Other people get "weddinged out" very quickly.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    LOL :)

    Oh, absolutely. I really don't bring it up too often. Don't get me wrong, I'm *very* excited for the day. But I know that after the cake and dancing and music, it's up to me and FI to make it work day in and day out.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited January 2013
    Since you pretty much are leaving it up to them to buy a dress of their choosing as long as it fits within your parameters of "long, flowy and purple" then what kind of repsonses were you thinking of getting?  To me, if I was a BM and the bride said by a dress with x,y and z parameters I would think to myself "okey dokey" and begin my search.  I wouldn't think that I needed to email or call the bride and tell her "okey dokey" as well.

    And as far as engagement pictures, if they are anything like me, they may think engagement pictures are pointless.  Also, what more of a reaction are you looking for?  They aren't going to ooh and ahh over every single picture.  Looking at tons of pictures of another couple gets pretty boring after the first 5 or so.

    Also, we have just had this thing called Christmas and New Years.  People tend to be busy and the last thing they are thinking about is a wedding that isn't going to take place until 5 months down the road.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_apathylong-semi-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bab4eb4e-9370-43e1-ac7c-866dabf77f2cPost:115afc6c-5311-4ccf-87c8-7b5a32d969fe">Apathy...long semi-vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey knotties, Just wondering if anyone is/has been in the same boat as me. I have 2 BMs that just don't seem to care...at all. I know it could be much worse, like dealing with people who want to control everything, but it kinda makes me sad that my BMs haven't really been involved. Both are family too. I'm really enjoying the planning and not asking much of anyone. We're about 5 months out now, so I sent them a few emails about BM dresses with links of some ideas I had, asking what they thought. I basically told them they can pick whatever they like and feel prettiest in that is long, flowy, and purple. Neither have responded to me, or talked to each other, and it's been 2 weeks. I also sent them both a sneak of my engagement pics. One responded and said they looked nice, the other didn't respond but told me she forwarded it to a friend of hers to see what he thought.....ugh. I know people are busy and have their own lives...is it really too much to ask for a *little* involvement and excitement? Especially in picking what THEY will be wearing?? #bummed
    Posted by elizk21[/QUOTE]
    Well, the last two weeks have been the busiest holiday season of the year.  It's not surprising that they haven't responded to you or talked to each other about it yet.



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