How do I tell my maids they pay?

allieleann

I have 4 bridesmaids. None of them have been in weddings before. How do I tell them they need to pay for their own dresses?

KatWAG

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_how-do-i-tell-my-maids-they-pay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc5d5014-d7df-4c63-a32b-3ce87f47c698Post:6e3d959f-71cb-4170-b517-1f0068b17d44">How do I tell my maids they pay?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have 4 bridesmaids. None of them have been in weddings before. How do I tell them they need to pay for their own dresses?
Posted by allieleann[/QUOTE]

I would ask them about their budget for a bridesmaid dress. That should get the message across. Please note, if you would them to have matching shoes, jewlery etc you need to pay for it. Not the Bms. Same goes for professional hair and make up.

cbrown828

You ask them for a budget, then find a dress at or under that budget. Don't go over it. You could give them each a length, color, and fabric, and tell them to get a dress they like within those guidelines. Ditto PP about you paying for the extras. Also, paying for shoes or hair does not count as your gift to them.

s-aries8990

Same as everyone as above. I think BMs should be under the impression that they are paying for their own dresses, but ask them their budget (during the right time frame) and that should really bring the message home. "Hey friend, I am starting to look through some BM options and I was just wondering what your budget was; I want to make sure being my BM isn't a financial burden! "

Raeneera

I've only told 1 of my 4 girls so far, b/c she's my MOH she's financially strapped for cash, she has over a year to save, and I don't think ill even have them spend over 100 anyways. I think BM should assume they're paying for their dress/accessories.

cbrown828

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_how-do-i-tell-my-maids-they-pay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc5d5014-d7df-4c63-a32b-3ce87f47c698Post:afb85be1-80d3-4ad9-ac81-7c942d0ef7f9">Re:How do I tell my maids they pay?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've only told 1 of my 4 girls so far, b/c she's my MOH she's financially strapped for cash, <strong>she has over a year to save,</strong> and I don't think ill even have them spend over 100 anyways. I think BM should assume they're paying for their dress/accessories.
Posted by Raeneera[/QUOTE]

<div>Please don't make assumptions about what others are capable of financially. If she wants to save money, it doesn't mean she's willing to blow it all on your wedding. The best thing to do is still be conservative with your choices. Life happens and money has a funny way of slipping away. </div>

aurianna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_how-do-i-tell-my-maids-they-pay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc5d5014-d7df-4c63-a32b-3ce87f47c698Post:afb85be1-80d3-4ad9-ac81-7c942d0ef7f9">Re:How do I tell my maids they pay?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've only told 1 of my 4 girls so far, b/c she's my MOH she's financially strapped for cash, she has over a year to save, and I don't think ill even have them spend over 100 anyways. I think BM should assume they're paying for their dress/accessories.
Posted by Raeneera[/QUOTE]

You need to ask her for her budget. You can't just assume that she can afford $100.

As PPs have said, you ask each girl individually for their dress budget (make sure they take into account the alterations as well, unless you don't care if the dresses don't fit the girls well). Then you either pick a dress that's cheaper than the lowest budget, you let the girls all pick out their own dresses (you can give guidelines), or you pay for the dresses yourself.