Moms and Maids

MIL Drama LLama

What should I do?

Ok.  My FMIL has caused more drama in my life than I care to even mention.  The latest saga is that she is complaining about my decision to have family portraits done before the wedding.  The facility that we are getting married at is not condusive for family portraits immediately following the ceremony, because the staff will be switching out chairs and tables for the reception.  I brought up the suggestion to her, and she went into this tyrade about how I can't expect her family to drive from two hours away to come early for a wedding.  And by early - I mean an extra hour early for pictures.

Am I being overly emotional about this?  I do not think it is her right to be bossing me around like this.  Help???

Re: MIL Drama LLama

  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mil-drama-llama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:c91a1523-85d1-48e2-9307-1ba6a5164cb4Post:ad10c99b-75b0-45f5-b9c4-a71ada2a0eab">MIL Drama LLama</a>:
    [QUOTE]What should I do? Ok.  My FMIL has caused more drama in my life than I care to even mention.  The latest saga is that she is complaining about my decision to have family portraits done before the wedding.  The facility that we are getting married at is not condusive for family portraits immediately following the ceremony, because the staff will be switching out chairs and tables for the reception.  I brought up the suggestion to her, and she went into this tyrade about how I can't expect her family to drive from two hours away to come early for a wedding.  And by early - I mean an extra hour early for pictures. Am I being overly emotional about this?  My family and I are paying for this wedding, and my MIL family hasn't even forked over a dime.  I do not think it is their right to be bossing me around like this.  Help???
    Posted by aatika[/QUOTE]

    So there's absolutely nowhere else that you can have pictures taken after the ceremony?

    Do yourself a favor and stay out of this.  It should have been your FI who brought this up to her and your FI who handles any arguments with her.  Also, keep in mind that just because she is not contributing financially, it doesn't mean she's an extra in your day who has to do whatever you tell her to do - and yes, this is how you are coming off.  I doubt anyone would go off on a tirade if this were the first unreasonable (in her eyes) request
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  • edited December 2011
    Yea, my comment regarding $ was a bit overboard and completely out of line.  Going to delete that momentarily.  Just got caught up in the heat of the moment.  And no, it is going to be an evening wedding, and unless his family wants pictures in the dark, then there isn't another place they can have their pictures taken.  I am trying my hardest to be accommodating with requests on FI's side.  I would have taken a completely different viewpoint if she said something along the lines of, "lets talk about this" instead of going off the deep end.

    And no - I have yet to make an unreasonable request.  Perhaps in her eyes, this is the first.
  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I actually am going to agree with OP in this. I can bet most if not all family will understand that doing the pictures first because of having only so much daylight is reasonable and that it is not like people are going to be bored out of their mind, they will be IN the pictures. Doing portraits before the ceremony is becoming very common practice today, not only to just break up the portraits but insures that the B&G get their "must have" family shots. So I really don't see certain family coming an 1-2 hours before just to get this stuff done as a big deal.

    OP, if you have already discussed this with your FI and he also agrees with you. HE needs to tell HIS mom, that this both of your decisions and if she wants to be in the pictures she better be there at X time when the pictures start.

  • edited December 2011
    Thank you everyone for your advice and input.  I think the best thing to do is to wash my hands of the ordeal, and let my FI handle it.  It is dissapointing that the drama has turned out the way that it has, but there is nothing we can do about it now, except move forward.  We are going to try our best to accomodate everyone.
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