Moms and Maids

Bridesmaid unsupportive

One of my best friends is an obvious choice for a BM but in the last few years her husband left her and it was a terrible divorce, she was actually pregnant when he left, there was a lot of lying involved. Really ugly. I feel terrible that she had to go through that, but now she keeps telling me that my FI reminds her a lot of her ex-husband and I can do better. While she seems excited for the wedding, she also voices her concern that he's like her ex-husband. While I understand her concern, I don't see the similarity... but I appreciate that she worries. I know not every relationship is the same, and my FI and I are not the same people. Every relationship is different and comes with its own challenges. How do I include her in my wedding party when I know she's screaming inside for me not to get married.

Re: Bridesmaid unsupportive

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2011
    I think you should speak with her.  Let it be know that you are 150% in lover with your FI and that all you want is for her to be happy for you and support your decision.  It makes complete sense as to why she is so hesitant about you getting married.  She got burned bad by her now ex-husband.  That is a hard thing to get over.  I think she just doesn't want the same thing to happen to you.  You need to let her know that you trust your FI completely and are extremely happy with your decision.  Due to her experience she will always be worried but she really needs to stop expecting every man to be the same.

  • edited December 2011
    Your wedding isn't for another year.  Wait a few months before picking your WP.  Ask everyone about 6 months out.  See how things go in the next few months with your friend.  Support her, she's had a lot of trauma in a short time.  That can skew your view of the world for awhile.
  • kaitlyn&henrykaitlyn&henry member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i agree with waiting a bit...keep it in mind, but dont ask any one yet. From someone who had a lot of bridesmaids with a lot of prblems--pick wisely!!

    choose people who will back you and support you no matter what...its frustrating when it should be a moment of sheer joy, but someone says something they mean well by but it is obviously doubtful and judgemental.

    Maybe talk to her and she will come around! Good luck!!!
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I agree with everyone else.  When it does time to actually ask, I would not have her as a BM if she continues to be like this though.  Take your time and good luck.
  • mbutucelmbutucel member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the support ladies. I am definatly going to wait for awhile to askand see how things play out.
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