Planning my dads wedding, and I'm a bridesmaid?!

MorgiePoohBear

I'm sixteen and my dad who's almost 40 is marrying a 28 year old and to save money they're having me plan the wedding. Its really hard since I don't like the soon to be "Step-Mom". Other than that, I don't mind helping, I find it really exciting but their demands are ridiculous. They want a blue and black Gothic themed wedding.. On the beach?!  It's so confusing. Do you have any tips on what I should do?

RebeccaB88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_planning-dads-wedding-im-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:cd480efd-1064-42cf-8200-910b091c258ePost:f5bf86b9-85ec-4362-b3a8-3794e05d85d6">Planning my dads wedding, and I'm a bridesmaid?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sixteen and my dad who's almost 40 is marrying a 28 year old and to save money they're having me plan the wedding. Its really hard since I don't like the soon to be "Step-Mom". Other than that, I don't mind helping, I find it really exciting but their demands are ridiculous. They want a blue and black Gothic themed wedding.. On the beach?!  It's so confusing. <strong>Do you have any tips on what I should do?
</strong>Posted by MorgiePoohBear[/QUOTE]

Um, decline to be their free slave labor wedding planner?   They're adults, they can either plan their own wedding or hire someone else to do it.

Seriously, it's okay to say no if you don't want to do it.  I don't get the Blue-Gothic-beach theme thingy either.  Kinda sounds like it might end up a trainwreck. (Not because of you, but because of their weird demands paired with your inexperience.) 

lizzi97

You have every right to respectfully decline. No one *needs* to hire a wedding planner (or have your daughter do it for free). They are adults and can plan their own wedding. It really isn't that complicated.

StephieBow

This has disaster written all over it.  The theme makes no sense and they've almost set you up to fail.  I would politely decline saying that you're happy to help but you can't plan it all on your own.

MairePoppy

If you're interested in helping with their themes, there are gothic and beach wedding boards. See the blue column on the left of this page, click on  'Wedding  Theme Boards,'. Good luck.
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perkins81

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_planning-dads-wedding-im-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:cd480efd-1064-42cf-8200-910b091c258ePost:8eedce07-24b8-4a27-8573-65c9f5d1555b">Re: Planning my dads wedding, and I'm a bridesmaid?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Planning my dads wedding, and I'm a bridesmaid?! :<strong> Um, decline to be their free slave labor wedding planner? </strong>  They're adults, they can either plan their own wedding or hire someone else to do it. Seriously, it's okay to say no if you don't want to do it.  I don't get the Blue-Gothic-beach theme thingy either.  Kinda sounds like it might end up a trainwreck. (Not because of you, but because of their weird demands paired with your inexperience.) 
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

Yes!

beckys67

Speaking as a mom and soon to be step mom I think you should only do what you feel ok with. I think planning a wedding is difficult and that burden shouldn't be placed on you. I think they should have ask what you may have wanted to help with. They may be trying to include you and don't understand how. Good Luck

stephdonjon

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_planning-dads-wedding-im-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:cd480efd-1064-42cf-8200-910b091c258ePost:f5bf86b9-85ec-4362-b3a8-3794e05d85d6">Planning my dads wedding, and I'm a bridesmaid?!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I'm sixteen and my dad who's almost 40 is marrying a 28 year old</strong> and to save money they're having me plan the wedding. Its really hard since<strong> I don't like the soon to be "Step-Mom</strong>". Other than that, I don't mind helping, I find it really exciting but their demands are ridiculous. <strong>They want a blue and black Gothic themed wedding.. On the beach?! </strong> It's so confusing. Do you have any tips on what I should do?
Posted by MorgiePoohBear[/QUOTE]<div>Wow, there is so much about this that's crazy I don't know where I to begin. First off, like others have said, you are not obligated to plan their wedding for them, especially not pro-bono. They're adults and can either do it themselves or hire someone who plans weddings for a living. I'm not sure how much the average 16 year old knows about event planning. Maybe you happen to know quite a bit, but nonetheless, that's a lot of stress to put on you and that isn't right. Second, if you don't like her, you're probably not going to be enthused about coordinating a celebration of her becoming one of the family, so it's in everyone's best interest if you don't have to. Finally, a gothic-beach wedding is certainly an interesting idea. I would love to see that one. Is it any different from any other beach wedding except everyone is in black and they maybe play lots of heavy metal at the ceremony? Good luck with that. My advice: get out while you can. 
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Muffin'sMom

I'm just hoping this is MUD from someone with nothing else to do...

8daysaweek

I would just be upfront with them that you're happy to help but you have no idea how to plan a wedding and can't do it on your own. Honestly, it's just ridiculous that they would expect you to do it.

If you can't do that for some reason, there are theme boards on the left side under the lists of boards. I also found it helpful to do google image searches during my planning to look for inspiration from pictures.