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Moms and Maids
latoya3709
member
Setting a Date that works for EVERYONE!
Knotties - I need some advice before I go crazy.
Backstory:
My FI is Seventh Day Adventist, so we cannot get married on a Saturday. Friday is out of the question, because the Sabbath is a sunset. So - we are getting married on a Sunday (this was drama for my parents at first because we go to church on Sunday, but they got over it).
Sunday is not ideal because people have to work on Monday. Both of our families have other big items going on during the 3-day weekends in 2012. So, we are going with an off Sunday. The goal was to make it in the summer to avoid any conflicts with school for my little bro and sis and his nephews.
I asked my BMs and MOH if July 29, 2012 works for them - EVERYONE says yes. We make a deposit on the venue (after confirming availability with photographer and florist) - then I talk to my MOH and she tells that July 29th is her husbands 30th bday! So, then i'm frustrated that she didn't tell me before, but at the same time not too pressed because the date didn't have any significant meaning to us.
After jumping through various hoops to ensure a date that venue, photographer, and florist had available, I considered August 12, 2012. Because I know that school starts in August, I checked with my sister to make sure she didn't have school. I asked FI to check with his family if August 12th would work - he said it was fine. All our vendores allow us to move to August 12, 2012 with no penalties.
Last night, FI's sister calls and says that her sons' first day of school is August 14th and she thinks we will have a low turn out or many people leaving early because of school (her sons are in the wedding). FI never asked her about August 12th and he said he just thinks that everyone who can come, will come - whoever can't come, it's fine (he's tired of dealing with the back and forth). FI's sister says she thinks it's fine, but that we may want to consider changing our date to July or June, when more people are taking vacation and don't mind traveling. I talked to my mom about it, and she is as frustated as me about all these date conflicts, but thinks that his sister has a point. My family is also frustrated because it's on a Sunday in the first place, but my mom says we are already accommodating Sunday and my future nephews will be ok in regards to school. Since we aren't inviting other children and they will have to get childcare anyways, we should be ok even though it may be close to the start of school.
Now - I want this to work and I think July may be better. But, I am TIRED fo trying to accommodate everyone and I'm worried about asking vendors to change to a date in July - given that we just changed. I think we seem wishy washy. I also don't want to give another date to my BMs and MOH. My FI is not much help, because he says the date is about us - not everyone else. Although he was supportive of me changing the date for my MOH, it's coming out that he didn't want us to do that and we should have just kept it at July 29th.
What would you do? Would you just keep August 12th or would you try to see if another Sunday in July is available for EVERYONE?
Backstory:
My FI is Seventh Day Adventist, so we cannot get married on a Saturday. Friday is out of the question, because the Sabbath is a sunset. So - we are getting married on a Sunday (this was drama for my parents at first because we go to church on Sunday, but they got over it).
Sunday is not ideal because people have to work on Monday. Both of our families have other big items going on during the 3-day weekends in 2012. So, we are going with an off Sunday. The goal was to make it in the summer to avoid any conflicts with school for my little bro and sis and his nephews.
I asked my BMs and MOH if July 29, 2012 works for them - EVERYONE says yes. We make a deposit on the venue (after confirming availability with photographer and florist) - then I talk to my MOH and she tells that July 29th is her husbands 30th bday! So, then i'm frustrated that she didn't tell me before, but at the same time not too pressed because the date didn't have any significant meaning to us.
After jumping through various hoops to ensure a date that venue, photographer, and florist had available, I considered August 12, 2012. Because I know that school starts in August, I checked with my sister to make sure she didn't have school. I asked FI to check with his family if August 12th would work - he said it was fine. All our vendores allow us to move to August 12, 2012 with no penalties.
Last night, FI's sister calls and says that her sons' first day of school is August 14th and she thinks we will have a low turn out or many people leaving early because of school (her sons are in the wedding). FI never asked her about August 12th and he said he just thinks that everyone who can come, will come - whoever can't come, it's fine (he's tired of dealing with the back and forth). FI's sister says she thinks it's fine, but that we may want to consider changing our date to July or June, when more people are taking vacation and don't mind traveling. I talked to my mom about it, and she is as frustated as me about all these date conflicts, but thinks that his sister has a point. My family is also frustrated because it's on a Sunday in the first place, but my mom says we are already accommodating Sunday and my future nephews will be ok in regards to school. Since we aren't inviting other children and they will have to get childcare anyways, we should be ok even though it may be close to the start of school.
Now - I want this to work and I think July may be better. But, I am TIRED fo trying to accommodate everyone and I'm worried about asking vendors to change to a date in July - given that we just changed. I think we seem wishy washy. I also don't want to give another date to my BMs and MOH. My FI is not much help, because he says the date is about us - not everyone else. Although he was supportive of me changing the date for my MOH, it's coming out that he didn't want us to do that and we should have just kept it at July 29th.
What would you do? Would you just keep August 12th or would you try to see if another Sunday in July is available for EVERYONE?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Setting a Date that works for EVERYONE!
I wouldn't have changed it in teh first place over someone's 30th bday. I mean can't they celebrate on that friday. it is YOUR WEDDING. I don't udnerstand why you changed it over MOH's husbands bday anyway
but I think either leave it as is, or change it back- whatever you want to do.
Don't worry that your FI's nephew starts school 2 days later. I mean geez. These people seem to be giving you a really hard time
I'm pretty sure she can prep her child for school on Saturday and attend a wedding. He doesn't start school teh next day, he has plenty of time to get organized. prepared, and catch up on sleep monday.
You can't appease everyone- and if you keep trying to do that through this entire process you are going to be totally fried!
167 Invited
Would you ever consider asking someone to change their wedding date because it fell on your birthday? I wouldn't and I think your MOH was out of line.
The first day of school is 2 days after your wedding, so I don't see a conflict, especially if it's in the afternoon. If this is an evening wedding, those with small children will probably have to leave early with them, regardless of the time of year.
You probably already have the times locked in, but make it as early as is possible. I've been to two evening on Sunday weddings (one a Seventh Day Adventist one) and during both guests left ridiculously early. Be warned and I hope it's not an issue for you (I was shocked at the first one. I mean, do you seriously need to leave at 7 on a Sunday to get to work at time the next day? Really?)
"I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, My soul shall be joyful in my God; For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." -Isaiah 61:10 NKJV