Accidentally Hurt my Moms feelings...

veggienat

We haven't gone dress shopping yet, but I am totally in love with the royal wedding knock offs.  I am also a plus-sized bride, and noone seems to make those in plus sizes except random China dressmakers.  Well I ordered one that was really reasonably priced, thinking if I hate it, i can resell it.  It def isn't THE dress at this point, but when I told her I had ordered it, she was seriously unhappy that I had done that.  I think she really wanted the 'say yes to the dress' experience(I am her only daughter), which is fine with me - we can go to the stores and try stuff on.  I just feel like I have tarnished the whole experience at this point.  Anyone have a similar experience, or can share some words of wisdom?  I am feeling pretty awful about it.

LittleMissCutiePie

Frankly, I would make a point of sending the dress straight back without even trying it on. If you're mom wants this important bonding experience, let her have it. I'm not saying you did this to purposely hurt her feelings, but to mend it you need to tell her "I didn't even try it on, because I want us to have the special experience of picking out the first dress I try on together". If she's still offended, you can't do much but surge on forward, and make a point of consulting her with anything further that you have to wonder "would my mom want to be a part of this?"

Good luck!

em01092

The most important issue here is what do you want? Do YOU want to go try on dresses? You say it isn't THE dress, so if you want to go shopping again, that's fine, but I would try to not let your mom's feelings cloud what you truly want. If you love the dress, keep it. If you prefer not to have the trying on experience, that is ok too, so long as you are paying for it. If your mom is paying, she has more say.

I didn't have the SYTTD experiene because I am wearing my aunt's gown. However, it does need to be altered, so I plan on inviting my mom with me for my fittings and such. 

There are SO many other aspects to wedding planning that surely you can find ways to include her. 

LoveMuffins

I didn't have the experience with my mom either. I found my dress when I was out with friends just trying some on for fun.

I think that your mom might get that experience though, since you haven't tried it on yet. Make a big deal about having her there to try it on with you and help you get into it. Make a big deal about going out to pick a veil. Make a big deal about having there there for any fittings. Basically just make a big deal about having her involved in the process.

And also let her know you can't wait to shopping for HER dress, which will remind her that the bride is not the only one with a dress shopping experience to go through

And who knows, maybe when you try it on both of you will think "Ick no!" and you'll be able to go out anyway. Or maybe you could even agree to a shopping trip after you try it on, to go see if there's "anything better", even if you already know there's not

Good luck!

MairePoppy

From an MOB - Wedding dress shopping is important to many of us, but you're over thinking this. Since you don't like the dress,anyway, call mom asap and make a date to go wedding gown shopping. You have not tarnished the experience.

If you tell her why you ordered the dress from China, she should understand. And if you had loved that dress, you could have made a special moment of that, too, by inviting your mom for a private viewing.

It will be okay : )

lynxbbgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_accidentally-hurt-moms-feelings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ce0c9f8d-42a7-445f-86b4-f8b0873f4072Post:b12bce41-ba2a-46ba-83a3-d1be7853b825">Re: Accidentally Hurt my Moms feelings...</a>:
[QUOTE]From an MOB - Wedding dress shopping is important to many of us, but you're over thinking this. Since you don't like the dress,anyway, call mom asap and make a date to go wedding gown shopping. You have not tarnished the experience. If you tell her why you ordered the dress from China, she should understand. And if you had loved that dress, you could have made a special moment of that, too, by inviting your mom for a private viewing. It will be okay : )
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

this one :)