Moms and Maids

Wedding Dress Shopping - Without the FMIL

My mom and I have a weird relationship. We get along pretty well but we are definitely not close. I am closer to my FMIL than I am to my own mom. I am going wedding dress shopping tonight! (YAY!!!!) The only thing is I didn't invite my FMIL because I knew it would bother my mom. (She would feel like it was taking something away from her being the Mother of the Bride.) Now that the time is here I am really wishing my FMIL was coming with us. I don't know if I made the right decision or not by not inviting my FMIL but either way its too late now. What I am wondering is would it be okay to bring my FMIL on a separate day and show her the dress I found (if I even find one tonight) or would that be rude because I didn't invite her the first time?

Re: Wedding Dress Shopping - Without the FMIL

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    I think that would be a great idea.  Most women should appreciate that MOB/daughter thing when it comes to dress shopping.  I'm a MOB so I can understand your mom wanting this to be more private, but it really should have been your call.

    Take your FMIL out to lunch and show her the dress.  I"m sure she will be thrilled.

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Another MOB, here, agreeing with kmmssg.
    I think your FMIL would be happy to be invited to see the dress that you have chosen. That's very thoughtful of you.
                       
  • sparent2010sparent2010 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think a separate day will be fine. I like when MOBs are on the board- you all have great advice for us brides to be :)
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_wedding-dress-shopping-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:d401ca1a-dc52-4ec7-be01-5e3540374917Post:db30f6ec-b7d4-46b2-b0e8-94d10f07a3d4">Re: Wedding Dress Shopping - Without the FMIL</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think a separate day will be fine. I like when MOBs are on the board- you all have great advice for us brides to be :)
    Posted by sparent2010[/QUOTE]

    Spar - I have learned far more from the brides over the years.  I have been able to see conversations between peers regarding boundaries with parents and how many of us "don't get it."  I think a lot of the MIL's and FIL's that are the subject of frustrated threads have no clue they have offended the couple.  If they could have an objective opportunity to see behind someone else's eyes, maybe they would be more respectful. 

    I work really hard to respect my girls boundaries, but there are things I never would have thought of if it hadn't been for the brides here.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    This is a great place for us moms to learn, too. I really appreciate it that you, brides, are willing to share your honest thoughts with us, too. It's really made me think about things from my daughter's perspective. So, thank you.


                       
  • edited December 2011

    I took my mom, sister and grandma with when we bought the dress, and it was the second one I put on so it was great. Everyone else (ie. bridesmaids, FMIL, FSIL) got all pissy when they found out I got the dress so I took FMIL and FSIL to "visit" the dress and go shopping for accessories. As for the BM's when they complained I told them point blank that I refuse to be one of those brides who fills up the whole salon with her entourage and pisses off the sales people. They watch SYTTD, so they eventually got it. I just promised them they will at least see it before Justin does lol :P

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  • edited December 2011
    I went dress shopping with my sister, best friend and mom. I bought my dress two days later when my dad and mom came up to see the dress. Afterwards, I invited my FMIL to come to the dress fitting when the dress arrives in December. She was thrilled and that seemed to work out best.
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