Moms and Maids

Need some help with bridesmaid issue!

I have a best friend from medical school who was with me when my fiance and I first met and started dating and she knows our early history very well.  We went off to different residencies and we both did not do a good job at keeping in touch over the past few years but I really want to ask her to be a bridesmaid.  She lives in another state, has a new baby but is planning on coming to the wedding.  I am also planning on buying the bridesmaid dresses for everyone.  
I went to her wedding but I was not in the bridal party and I was not at all offended since I did not even know her husband and I was just happy to be there.  
Do you think it is weird if someone else already got married and you weren't in their bridal party?
How do I ask someone I don't talk to very often?  How do I tactfully offer to pay for the bridesmaid dresses?  
The wedding is a little over four months away and I have been PROCRASTINATING!!!
I am so confused and stressed out and I guess afraid of rejection, too ha ha!

Re: Need some help with bridesmaid issue!

  • I'd just be honest and ask her.
  • m tullim tulli member
    100 Comments
    I don't think It's weird to have someone already married. I've been in 2 when I was married previous marriage. Just understand she has a child and lives out of state so you need to be ok if she doesn't have a lot of free time leading up to the wedding.
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  • My goodness, you have been procrastinating!!!

    Call her and be honest.  Let her know that even though you have lost touch you really want to reconnect with her.  Let her know that when you envision your wedding you see her standing up there with you because of your history together.

    You can just mention that you are paying for the dresses so that won't be awkward.  Above all, understand she needs to buy a dress where she is, and she can't come and help with showers and bach parties when she has had such short notice.  Also make sure she understands you aren't asking her last minute, you have just procrastinated with the whole wedding.  Then she won't feel like an after thought.

    Also, be very understanding if she would just like to attend as a guest.  The other thing to keep in mind is that with such short notice, she may be unable to attend at all since travel is involved and we are talking taking time off of work and dealing with a child.
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers

    If I were that girl, the only thing I'd find weird is the fact that you're asking me with only 4 months until the wedding!  Unless you've had a short engagement, I'd feel like I was an afterthought.

  • If it would mean a lot to you to have her in wedding, ask. Worse case she says no. It's wants gonna make you feel complete on your special day. Good luck. Call her already!
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