Destination Wedding - To Have Bridesmaids or Not?

sasiman11

I'm not engaged yet, but I know it's coming soon. Ever since my boyfriend and I have been together (over 5 years) we've talked about a beach wedding.

I like the fact that you can invite a lot, but only the ones who really care will show up. My question is this: If I ask friends to be in the wedding, will they feel obligated? I don't want ANYONE to feel as if they have to attend since it will be far away, but I don't want people to be disappointed if they are not asked. I'm thinking of possibly asking people, but not having formal bridesmaids responsibilities - no standing next to us during the ceremony, no need to walk down the "aisle", no need for matching dresses. I'll stick with a few color scheme that is beachy and let them choose dresses that are flowy and fit the beach theme. I want everyone to be comfortable and not feel stressed.

What do you ladies think?

kmmssg

Please lose the "the ones who care will show up" idea.  I may love and adore you and support your marriage and promise to always be there for you.  That does not mean I am spending several hundreds of dollars to attend your wedding.  Chances are I wouldn't.

The ones who love you will be there in time of need, in time of joy, in time of hurt, anytime you need them.  Whether or not they spend a lot of money to attend your wedding has NOTHING to do with how much they care.

That line of thinking is a pet peeve of mine.

saric83

Ditto PP's comments about "the ones who care will show up".  We had a destination wedding with eyes wide open, and that's not necessarily true.  Even people who really really want to go simply might not be able to when it all comes down to it.  So just be ready for that. 

But in terms of the wedding party, ask whoever you want!  But I would strongly suggest that you arrange your plans (pick the date, location, etc.) BEFORE aking them, so when you talk with them, you can be able to provide them the costs and ask them to think about it for a month or so before letting you know.  You just have to assume that they'll say no and hope for the best. : ) It's a LOT to ask of anyone, and you truly need to be able to be okay with them saying no and give them a very large out.