FMIL, uggggggg!!!

carrielynn03

So, a little background, my FI and I have been together for almost 9 years. So I have known his family for almost as long. For the most part I get along with them very well, the occasional "disagreement", but nothing major. We have 2 children, my son is 10 and my daughter is 2. (My son is from a previous relationship, and my daughter is "ours"). So before my daughter was born I can't really remember ever having an issue with FMIL, she is very... free spirited, and she talks ALOT, but it never really seemed to bother me. My FI has 2 brother, so my FMIL was super excited when we had a girl, of course! Shortly after she was born, (like within days) she seemed to really start to get under my skin, almost like she is trying to throw little digs in whenever given the chance, ignore things that my FI and I requested in regards to the kids, tell me how to take care of my daughter (like it was my 1st child, not to mention I am the oldest of 5 girls!!) Most recently, I invited her to go dress shopping with me, I found my dress (first trip, YAY!!) and during that time we were shopping she was fine, involved and supportive, except she seemed more interested in looking for flower girl dresses for my daughter... didn't think much of it at the time. I have since took my daughter shopping to try on dresses, (which she does look ABSOLUTELY adorable!!! ) and when I show her the pictures she keeps telling me, "watch out, she is gonna steal your thunder"!! Now if she had just said it once, maybe even twice... but it has been atleast 5 times in the last month! I am not a bridezilla by any means, but its really starting to get bother me... What bride wants to be told repetitively that you are going to be out-shined on YOUR day. Of course my daughter is going to look amazing, and everyone is going to awww over her, but I feel like she is trying to throw a subtle "dig"... I am so lost as to how to handle the situation, I think if I were to talk to her she would get super offensive and make it all about her...

carrielynn03

After reading a few other posts I feel like I need to add that my FMIL isn't an awful person by any means, she occasionally gets under my skin, just this specific situation is really bothering me, and want to move past it so it doesn't continue to weigh on me.

Simply Fated

You're the bride. No one is going to outshine you and your FMIL is just telling the same bad joke over and over again.

Next time FMIL says it, just reply, "Yup. And she's going to outshine you, too."

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-uggggggg?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ddff678a-a46c-430a-87f1-5c1c2554089ePost:e8735777-d8c6-4bc1-a670-6b83842aaef5">Re: FMIL, uggggggg!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]You're the bride. No one is going to outshine you and your FMIL is just telling the same bad joke over and over again. Next time FMIL says it, just reply, "Yup. And she's going to outshine you, too."
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

<div>This is PERFECT.  Please come back and let us know how this conversation went.</div>

s-aries8990

And I'd stop sharing stuff with her. She can get under your skin about x if she doesn't know about x, right?

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-uggggggg?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ddff678a-a46c-430a-87f1-5c1c2554089ePost:e8735777-d8c6-4bc1-a670-6b83842aaef5">Re: FMIL, uggggggg!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]You're the bride. No one is going to outshine you and your FMIL is just telling the same bad joke over and over again. Next time FMIL says it, just reply, "Yup. And she's going to outshine you, too."
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

<div>LOVE. </div>

MairePoppy

My daughter was the first girl on my husband's side of the family and the first grandchild on my side. So I had two doting, meddling, overbearing grandmas to deal with. I feel your pain.

I don't think your FMIL is trying to put you down, she is awestruck by your beautiful daughter. I like Simply Fated's suggestion. Try it out. I'll bet your FMIL will agree that her granddaughter will far outshine her, too.  Try not to take the remark personally. No one is going to out shine you on your wedding day.

cbrown828

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-uggggggg?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ddff678a-a46c-430a-87f1-5c1c2554089ePost:e8735777-d8c6-4bc1-a670-6b83842aaef5">Re: FMIL, uggggggg!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]You're the bride. No one is going to outshine you and your <strong>FMIL is just telling the same bad joke over and over again</strong>. Next time FMIL says it, just reply, "Yup. And she's going to outshine you, too."
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

I was thinking the same thing. My FMIL always makes a "are you sure you're really compatible/ready to get married/etc?" joke whenever FI and I crack sarcastic silly jokes on each other in front of her. After about the 10th time I told FI how much it was bothering me and he assured me she just tells the same punchlines over and over. I started paying attention, and he's right. Whether she means it or not (I very much doubt she does, we get along great), choosing to not take it personally has made my life much easier.