MOH drama

lauraandbrad922

So my MOH and I used to be really close so she of course was an easy pick for the MOH position, since then she has just kinda really dropped the ball on all of her MOH duties. She didn't come to help me pick a dress, she hasn't helped me with any of the tasks, then last weekend she gets upset because she feels like everyone is taking over her jobs... un duh, because you haven't done crap yet...My shower and bachelorette party were this past weekend, she waited until two weeks before my shower and bachelorette party to send out invites which lead to practically nobody being able to attend due to the exteremely short notice. So I told her to just cancel my shower so I didnt feel awkward. I don't know how to deal with her, my wedding is 9/15 and im at the point I don't even want her around because she makes everything about her, doesn't do anything then complians that she doesn't feel involved. What do I do?

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-drama-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:deabf547-60f2-4a1c-a8d4-f93d065e68f0Post:d1039257-485c-4621-919a-2a31b9a99fad">MOH drama</a>:
[QUOTE]So my MOH and I used to be really close so she of course was an easy pick for the MOH position, since then she has just <strong>kinda really dropped the ball on all of her MOH duties.</strong> She didn't come to <strong>help me pick a dress</strong>, she hasn't <strong>helped me with any of the tasks</strong>, then last weekend she gets upset because she feels like everyone is taking over her jobs... un duh, because you haven't done crap yet...My shower and bachelorette party were this past weekend, she waited until two weeks before my shower and bachelorette party to send out invites which lead to practically nobody being able to attend due to the exteremely short notice. So I told her to just cancel my shower so I didnt feel awkward. I don't know how to deal with her, my wedding is 9/15 and im at the point I don't even want her around because she makes everything about her, doesn't do anything then complians that she doesn't feel involved. What do I do?
Posted by lauraandbrad922[/QUOTE]

Well you don't do anything because your MOH doesn't have any duties besides buy the dress and be on time, looking presentable on your wedding day.

Anything that you may have read or hear on wedding shows or grew up believing is just not true when it comes to your WP.  They aren't there to help you do anything.  They are there beacuse you want to honor your nearest and dearest on one of your biggest days.

As for your MOH sending out the invites on such a short notice, that probably was a bad oversight on her part but nothing that deems her to be a horrible MOH.

I think your best bet is to stop talking wedding with her.  Just go back to being friends instead of MOH and bride.

[Deleted User]

I don't have much advice. I'm in a similar situation except the friend is just a BM. I've tried to avoid talking about the wedding with her because it seemed to bother her. Then I hear through the grapevine that she feels left out. The other BMs try to include her but she always declines from participating. Then its her fault she feels left out! At this point I'm just crossing my fingers she gets her dress altered and shows up to the wedding. I'm not sure we'll continue our friendship after this. To me friends are people who support you in good times and bad. If she can't be there for me in the happiest time of my life, I can't trust she'll be there in the hard times either. I'm over her drama and constant complaining and I don't want or need that in my life.