Moms and Maids

Multiple Bachelorette parties?

A quick run-down of my maids, just so you understand the situation.
MOH- my 24 yr old sister, acts much older than her years
1 BM- my FI's 16 yr old sister
3 BMs from my hometown- longtime friends, loud, crazy
3 BMs from my christian college- my roommates, silly, fun, don't drink due to school rules and some by personal preferrence.

Here's the issue:
My MOH is planning on throwing my shower and my bachelorette party for me, but my 3 BMs from my hometown all have a very different idea of what a fun party is than what my MOH does. My friends from college are from all over the state, and have already told me they plan to have a party for me while school is in session so we're all already together.

My original thought was to have my MOH's bachelorette party be the one where all my BM's come, even my FI's sister, because I know it'll be relatively under control. Then, I figured I could just do a seperate party without the siblings so that all us girls could have fun together. However, my BMs from home have made it clear to me that they "don't trust my party in the hands of my school friends or my sister." I'm hurt that they feel this way. I understand not feeling comfortable letting their guard down in front of my sister, but the other girls are tons of fun, too! That's why I'm friends with them! But I don't want to force them to collaborate into one party if anyone is going to feel judged or uncomfortable, since that would just put a damper on the whole party.

Now that I'm done venting, I guess my question is if multiple parties are a common occurance, like showers are? And should I just let my friends all do their separate showers to keep things comfortable, or try to get them to see the best in the others, and run the risk of an awkward night?

Re: Multiple Bachelorette parties?

  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Bachelorette party is just one night, IMO. I have never been to two bachelorette parties for 1 Bride. The best thing to do is to direct your hometown friends to your sister and stay out of it. I think it is pretty rude of them to go over the head your sister and plan something for themselves as a party. If anything you could do some under 21 friendly until about 9 or 10, then do more adult type of things afterward. 

    So tell your MOH what you want to do in sense of everyone can participate then later in the night a more grown up type of setting. Then direct your town friends to your MOH, tell them you have already told your MOH your wishes and that they need to contact her to come together for one party. 
  • redheadtmkredheadtmk member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would have two parties but not call one of them the bachelorette party. I would go ahead and let your sister plan your bachelorette party so that everyone who is near and dear to you can attend. Then if your friends want to have a crazier girls night on the town, go out, have fun, just dont relate it to your wedding. As in no veil, signs, free drinks or them buying you drinks all night etc. Just good friends out having a good time. Otherwise the all ages friendly party until 9-10 and more adult friendly party after 9-10 as mentioned by PP is the way to go.
  • kaitlyn&henrykaitlyn&henry member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had a similar issues between age gaps, out of town members etc. I didnt ask for two different ones, but my friends planned one (but none of my friends are BMs because i have 3 sisters as does my FI)  that was wilder and out on the town and my sisters planned a low key one. I enjoyed both very much and was happy that it worked out that way...

    with that said it is YOUR party...everyone should do what you want to do and should all be able to get along for one night. I literally had to help plan my bachelorette party because one side wanted to do one thing the other side something different.

    I know its rude to plan your own i guess but if it will help solve the problem, spell it out and everyone should do what you want to without arguing...it should be what you think is a good time not necessarily them.

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