MOB question please help

Tulipgal

My stepdaughter is getting married next fall, her mom died when she was very young and I have been her stepmom since she was an older teen/ freshman in college. She has taken it for granted I will just step into the MOB role, and I am thrilled but I dont really know what to do. My mom had passed away by the time I got married so I did everything myself with DHs help and I dont want to become one of crazy MOBs I read about here, also I dont want to tread on the toes of anyone.

Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

StacyJenniges

I think each bride is different for what they want their mother to do. 

My mom has been helping plan the wedding, I wanted her there when I picked out my dress. 

At my sister's wedding the two mothers lit the candles that light the unity candle. 

I think your step Daughter is telling you that you are an imporatant woman in her life, and since even though later in her youth you entered in as a mother figure that she appreciates all you have done for her. 

Kate61487

The MOB role can vary a LOT depending on the relationship.  My mom has been my right hand throughout the planning process.  I call her to talk through almost every decision (but frankly I do that for non-wedding stuff to; when I can't decide between two pairs of shoes, etc.)

Day-of my mom will be helping me get ready, be escorted in as part of the processional by my brother, light one of the candles for our unity candle ceremony, etc.

I think if you're aware of the mom-zilla attitude you probably won't have a problem with it.  Just be a listening ear, offer your opinion when asked, but support the decision she makes (unless it's CRAZY tacky! haha).  You'll be fine :-)  GL!

mob2689

Maybe ask where you can be of assistance or what she would like you to do and if you have any ideas do share with her but emphasize it's HER wedding since you both are "new" to this. Better yet, if you 2 have a close relationship, tell her exactly what you stated in your post but omit the taken for granted part  actualy start at "I am thrilled....."

Muffin'sMom

I just kept telling myself that this was her wedding, not my opportunity to do things I didn't get or that they didn't have.  I watched her grow into this wonderful and creative person...I had to let her be the bride she wanted to be.  She had earned it.  I gave opinions VERY sparingly.  I told her I loved her about a million times.  She had a brand new really time consuming job, so she asked me to help with things, and I did what she asked.  I LISTENED.

It was a beautiful day.