Moms and Maids

maid vs matron...what to do

this will be the first time that i will be in a bridal party. Ive been asked to be the matron of honor.. but there will also be a maid of honor.. i dont know how this works. Will we be sharing the duties and if so who appoints them ? the bride? us? Any advice or ideas..

Re: maid vs matron...what to do

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    edited December 2011
    What duties?  If you mean things like planning showers/parties, then you would appoint yourselves by volunteering to do those things, but only if you WANT to do them.  You're not required to do anything but get the dress and show up on time to the wedding.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto PP.

    If you want to throw the bride a shower or a bach party go ahead but the bride does not tell you to do this.  The bride shouldn't really tell you to do anything expect what type of dress to get.

    There are no duties when it comes to being in the wedding.  So just relax and have fun.

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    edited December 2011
    A maid of honor is traditionally unmarried and a matron of honor is married.  You appoint your own duties.  If you both want to throw the bride a shower, then the two of you would get together and decide when/where/how.  The bride should not be appointing any person in the wedding party to do anything. 
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    bstentbstent member
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    edited December 2011
    In terms of any pre-wedding things like the bachelorette party and bridal shower (if you choose to do those, which I recommend because they are very fun and it's quite special to be able to give that to someone you care about, in my experience anyways), you should talk to the maid of honour and make sure the two of you are on the same page. You should also offer the bridesmaids the option of being involved, but don't assume they will be. If you both want to do it but are butting heads or having trouble merging your two visions, you could always have one do the shower and one the bachelorette.
    In terms of day-of things like signing the registry, holding the bouquet, etc., the bride should decide those things and let you know. I have both of my sisters as maids of honour and I plan to give them the option of choosing which things they'd like to do the day of, but I have told them I can decide if they feel weird about it or are having trouble deciding. For the speech, you can have one of you say something, stand up together (moral support!!) and say something together, or both say something on your own.
    Have fun!
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