In-Laws Jealous of my parents

Laura3086

This post is not by any means being disrespectful to my In-Laws, because I think they are wonderful people and they really mean well, and I think sometimes our emotions get the best of us.  I would like some advice on how I am supposed to act or what I'm supposed to say if this happens again.  The hidden issue behind the words that she said is that she's mad that she's not able to have nice things, and be able to contribute to the wedding since they filed for bankruptcy.  But what came out was this instead, " Just because your parents are rich and they get whatever they want and they give you everything you want, doesn't mean you deserve it!" 

I was stunned. I didn't know how to respond because I could she was hurt.  They made some really bad financial choices in life, and racked up tons of debt and now they are dealing with it.  My fiance told me not to take it personally, and that she was talking out of anger with herself, and not me or my family.  I'm afraid though that they'll be another breakdown and I'm nervous to be around her now.  What should I say if she does this again?

MairePoppy

Laura am I seeing things. Did you post erase and repost?

I think you said you overheard this conversation between your fi and his parents, because he put them on speaker phone. If that is correct, then you get to ignore what your FMIL said. Your fi should brush up on his phone manners, for your sake and your FMILs. He should always ask permission before he puts anyone on speaker phone.

You will all be better off if you don't discuss each others financial business. So if she brings it up to you, tell her you are not comfortable talking about it. Then change the subject or leave.

LittleMissCutiePie

Wow. What a charming lady. If she says anything like that again, tell her that what you don't deserve is to be spoken to like that. SHEESH.

Laura3086

Tough crowd! I only posted twice and erased the first because I didn't think it was right to explain the whole situation in case one day she was on here too. 

tldh

I'd be more concerned that your FI did not say anything to her about the insinuation that you are spoiled and don't deserve what your parents are giving you.  Other than that, I agree with PPs.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_laws-jealous-of-parents-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e51cece2-fb6c-406d-8e33-8d541a7d7b1aPost:67638865-695e-464a-8e74-0a2a01c90fec">Re: In-Laws Jealous of my parents</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I'd be more concerned that your FI did not say anything to her about the insinuation that you are spoiled and don't deserve what your parents are giving you</strong>.  Other than that, I agree with PPs.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

Agree completely!

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_laws-jealous-of-parents-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e51cece2-fb6c-406d-8e33-8d541a7d7b1aPost:ee689bd0-8a77-422f-945b-11aea47eb584">Re: In-Laws Jealous of my parents</a>:
[QUOTE]Tough crowd! I only posted twice and erased the first because I didn't think it was right to explain the whole situation in case one day she was on here too. 
Posted by Laura3086[/QUOTE]

The tone of your first post was very different from this one. I can see why you wouldn't want your FMIL to come across it.

I was trying to clarify whether your FMIL said this to you or you over heard the conversation on speaker phone. My answer would be much different if your FMIL said this directly to you. And I agree with the others that since she said it to your fi,he should straighten her out.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_laws-jealous-of-parents-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e51cece2-fb6c-406d-8e33-8d541a7d7b1aPost:ba6b3ed4-20c9-4897-be68-610cd8fb32dd">In-Laws Jealous of my parents</a>:
[QUOTE]This post is not by any means being disrespectful to my In-Laws, because I think they are wonderful people and they really mean well, and I think sometimes our emotions get the best of us.  I would like some advice on how I am supposed to act or what I'm supposed to say if this happens again.  The hidden issue behind the words that she said is that she's mad that she's not able to have nice things, and be able to contribute to the wedding since they filed for bankruptcy.  But what came out was this instead, " Just because your parents are rich and they get whatever they want and they give you everything you want, doesn't mean you deserve it!"  I was stunned. I didn't know how to respond because I could she was hurt.  They made some really bad financial choices in life, and racked up tons of debt and now they are dealing with it. <strong> My fiance told me not to take it personally, and that she was talking out of anger with herself, and not me or my family.</strong>  I'm afraid though that they'll be another breakdown and I'm nervous to be around her now.  What should I say if she does this again?
Posted by Laura3086[/QUOTE]

Did he say anything at all to her regarding this?