Mother of the bride wants 2 dresses. Help?

AmyKane90

Hello! My mother, (I'm the future bride) gave me "the look" when I suggested to her a beautiful long gown for the wedding. She responded by asking me how she is going to dance in that. Ummmm... She told me that she would like a long dress, plus a short dress after the ceremony. My fiance and I are doing a formal, black and white wedding theme. Is a short dress for the mother of the bride innapropriate? Not formal enough?
Thanks!

Amy

msuprincess04

Unless it's an actual black tie wedding, a short cocktail dress is appropriate for any guest, including your mother. Let her wear what she wants.

Maggie0829

Unless you are having a full on black tie/white tie affair a LBD is perfectly acceptable for any of your guests to wear and that includes your Mom.  MOB are guests, VIP guests, but guests all the same.  If your Mom wants two dresses then she can have two dresses.  If she just wants to wear the LBD for the whole thing then she can.  What she wears is completely up to her.

Also, what do you think your other guests will be wearing?  Gowns?  Most likely not.  Many will probably show up in the LBD or some other form of cocktail attire.

MairePoppy

If you are having a black or white tie event, where all the male guests and wedding party will be in tuxedos (black dinner jacket or black tail-coat), formal place settings, four + courses, live orchestra etc...then all the ladies should follow suit and wear long evening gowns. Otherwise, your mom's knee length dress is appropriate. It's not appropriate, though, to tell your mother what to wear to your wedding, unless she is a bridesmaid.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-the-bride-wants-2-dresses-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e7fc3d0b-2c58-4dd1-a134-273e0c53f82ePost:c2d1969e-a52c-480d-9b0b-1595253f196c">Re: Mother of the bride wants 2 dresses. Help?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the <strong>issue here that OP has is that her mom wants 2 dresses.</strong>  I would say that's a bit much IMO.  Have you looked at styles that are more evening gown rather than a big, heavy ball gown?  My mom is wearing a floor length dress and she shouldn't have any issue dancing in it.
Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

And?  If her Mom wants to wear a long gown for the ceremony but then a shorter dress for the receptiont that is her choice.  It isn't like the bride is having to pay for both dresses.  this is the Mom's decision and if she wants to spend extra for an additional dress then she has every right too.

And even if she does wear two dresses she will not be overshadowing the bride.  Absolutely no one can do that on the wedding day.

renegade gaucho

Your mom can wear whatever she wants to.

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-the-bride-wants-2-dresses-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e7fc3d0b-2c58-4dd1-a134-273e0c53f82ePost:d4b19e06-6205-4339-81b0-bdfa6355c9c5">Re: Mother of the bride wants 2 dresses. Help?</a>:
[QUOTE]I  think women of a certain age generally look better in other than floor length gowns.  Could you suggest tea length? 
Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

I kinda take offense to this!  I'm 52 and can rock a cocktail dress or a gown just fine thank you.  Should I decide to want to look fat and frumpy I will run right out and get a tea length dress.

[Deleted User]

I attended a wedding where the bride wore her gown the entire day, as most brides usually do and the MOB changed from a short dress (late afternoon wedding) to a long dress for the evening reception.  NBD IMO

And the "women of a certain age" nonsense ?   Nonsense!  I think tea length dresses for certain ages scream HAG!   I look pretty awesome in a cocktail number OR a long dress

Fancypantsamy

Hey now IamTheMomma and kmmssg! I'm a 27 year old size 4 and wore a tea length wedding dress and did not look fat, frumpy or hag like. I'd never assume someone is ugly because they're of a certain age and I get why you'd be mad, but it would be nice you didn't make over-arching statements like that either. 

NYCMercedes

Of a certain age here, also. How dare you NYUgirl! How insulting that we should wear tea length! My jowls may sag and my upper arms might sway, but I have great legs and always show them off!

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-the-bride-wants-2-dresses-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e7fc3d0b-2c58-4dd1-a134-273e0c53f82ePost:d10c8911-c5fa-4bb5-8264-d09fdff50b76">Re: Mother of the bride wants 2 dresses. Help?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey now IamTheMomma and kmmssg! I'm a 27 year old size 4 and wore a tea length wedding dress and did not look fat, frumpy or hag like. I'd never assume someone is ugly because they're of a certain age and I get why you'd be mad, but it would be nice you didn't make over-arching statements like that either. 
Posted by Fancypantsamy[/QUOTE]

<div>Fancy - I certainly understand you being offended, my apologies.  You are a size 4 - that is what it takes to look good in tea length dresses.  While there are MANY slim, smaller sized women "of a certain age", there are far more who aren't in the smaller sizes and we look hideous in a tea length dress.  I'm not talking large women here either, just average size, middle aged women.  NYU's remark was insulting to us and that is what brought about my remark.</div>

tlc35

Ditto kssmmg. My mom is 67 and wore a floor length dress to my sister's wedding and is wearing a knee length dress to mine. She looks good and appropriate in both.

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-the-bride-wants-2-dresses-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e7fc3d0b-2c58-4dd1-a134-273e0c53f82ePost:2f1c33dd-df8e-499b-9d6d-5397fb206fec">Re: Mother of the bride wants 2 dresses. Help?</a>:
[QUOTE]Of a certain age here, also. How dare you NYUgirl! How insulting that we should wear tea length! My jowls may sag and my upper arms might sway, but I have great legs and always show them off!
Posted by NYCMercedes[/QUOTE]

Another woman of a certain age, here. One day, God willing, NYU will find out that the legs  are the last thing to go ; )  I've seen many women in their middle and senior years that look fabulous in knee length and floor length dresses and heels. It's not about age, it's about style.