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usherette dress, hair, boutainnaire?

I have an usher and usherette in the wedding. 

For the usherette I was thinking a strapless black dress of her own choosing.  My BMs dresses are aubergine (eggplant like). Will this look okay in pics?  The men are wearing black suits with silver vest. Then can I have her wear a boutainnaire like the men or does she need a corsage on the wrist?  Also I'm paying to have my bridesmaids hair done so do I need to pay for my usherette, too or can I just have her do her own hair since she does a good job anyways.  She is invited to the grooms dinner so I will be giving her a gift.

 

Re: usherette dress, hair, boutainnaire?

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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_usherette-dress-hair-boutainnaire?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f06e27d7-4147-45c6-b644-28e662b4a00dPost:2ea69314-b944-4216-8e3a-d9eb21d1cc4a">usherette dress, hair, boutainnaire?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have an usher and usherette in the wedding.  For the usherette I was thinking a strapless black dress of her own choosing.  My BMs dresses are aubergine (eggplant like). <strong>Will this look okay in pics?</strong>  The men are wearing black suits with silver vest. <strong>Then can I have her wear a boutainnaire like the men or does she need a corsage on the wrist?</strong>  <strong>Also I'm paying to have my bridesmaids hair done so do I need to pay for my usherette, too or can I just have her do her own hair since she does a good job anyways</strong>.  She is invited to the grooms dinner so I will be giving her a gift.  
    Posted by esunada[/QUOTE]

    Black matches with anything so your fine.

    I would ask your friend what she prefer to wear since you could do either one.

    No, you do not have to pay for her hair if you aren't requiring it.
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    edited December 2011
    I don't like asking the ushers to wear anything they don't already have because they don't get the honor of being a BM and are actually doing you a favor by seating people. Many girls have LBDs so this may not be an issue, but I think you're worrying WAY too much about what the ushers are wearing, no one will notice. Asking her to buy a new dress would be ridiculous, IMO. You can't really get a bout for girls because they're made for buttonholes, but they can wear a corsage (wrist or pin-on).

    And it wouldn't even occur to me if I were an usher that I would have my hair done, just let her do it herself. If you want to offer, that's great, but not necessary.
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    edited December 2011
    I was an usherette in my grandmas wedding and we just wore LBDs and did our hair and whatnot our selves. We got corsages.  I recommend doing the same, I wouldn't require a strapless dress though, just a black dress is fine. 
    I agree with PP don't over think this just ask her to wear an LBD and get her a corsage.
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    esunadaesunada member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks!  I think I'm starting to get wedding tunnel vision.  Nice to see the big pic again!
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    First:  I think usherette sounds goofy and like something out of a 50's movie, so I'd suggest you call her an usher.  It's really a gender neutral term.

    Second:  Let her wear whatever she wants.  If she wants to buy a new dress, fine.  But I don't think that you should be requiring a dress.

    Boutennieres are typically for men.  Find out what dress she's wearing, and ask her if she'd prefer a pin-oin corsage, a wrist corsage, or no corsage.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    edited December 2011
    It all sounds fine, but I'd ask about flowers.  If a dress is strapless or made of a flimsy material like chiffon or silky fabrics, it is hard to pin anything on in a place that is comfortable.
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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    lalap69lalap69 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I hate the title "usherette".  The term usher is perfectly gender-neutral.

    You shouldn't be dictating her (or his) attire at all since they're not part of the WP.
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    edited December 2011
    My teen-aged nieces were our ushers.  I let them wear whatever they wanted and do their hair however they wanted.  We also had two "groomsmaids" who wore black while the bridesmaids wore navy.  Pictures look awesome.

    I was an usher at a friend's wedding - I was invited to get my hair done with the girls if I wanted (which I chose to do because it was fun).  I was offered to wear whatever I want - I offered to compliment the bridal party.  The wedding colors were a dark champagne and burgundy.  The bridesmaids dresses were dark champagne.  I got a nice, simple brown dress that flirted with a burgunday tint and got a sash that was a lighter shade of champagne.  The pictures looked sweet.  And I had a wrist corsage.

    A couple more things:

    One she's a girl so she is going to understand the bride having a vision of how things will look.

    Two, go ahead and tell her you'd prefer she wore a black dress - if she owns one great, if she wants a new one tell her to knock herself out!  (And she can always wear a sash in aubergine or silver to compliment the bridal party if she wants/it goes with the dress/is an affordable accessory, etc)

    Please call her an usher because usherette sounds too saltry lol.

    And wrist corsage.  I've never seen a pinned corsage look good on a dress.
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    edited December 2011
    I think it is fine to ask them to wear a black dress. I've been an usher in a few weddings and have always been requested to wear black. Also, my sister got married a few weeks ago and our dresses were eggplant and her female ushers wore black (the pictures look awesome). They both wore the same dress, that they and my sister picked out. Most people like buying new dresses and black ones can be used over and over again. As for the hair, in every wedding I've been an "usherrette," ("program assistant" in one, how's that for a title?) I've had to pay for my hair if I wanted it done. My sister did the same with hers.

    I have also pinned a gazillion flowers (my fiance is a a photographer, and I help with weddings a lot and generally no one is around to help men pin flowers prior to pictures, so I do it. Also, I was taught during one of my personal attendent days) and it really does depend on the fabric. I don't think it looks bad, it just can be hard to find a spot that doesn't look awkward (too close to the armpit, right on the breast...). Wrist corsages might be better, but they can be kind of annoying, too, so I would make it as simple as possible.

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