Moms and Maids

How to include my brother's(best man's) girlfriend?

Hi ladies! I am hoping for some suggestions on how to include my brother's girlfriend in our wedding. He is also the best man. His girlfriend has become a good friend of mine (but, not in the bridal party because of #'s and they got together after I asked my girls).

I am just wondering if anyone has any ideas on some things/gestures etc i could extend to include her as much as possible on things? How have you included significant others who are not in the bridal party to make them still feel 'part' of things?

Thanks in advance!

Re: How to include my brother's(best man's) girlfriend?

  • You could have her do a reading. That's what I'm asking ny brothers girlfriend to do.
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  • In Response to Re:How to include my brother'sbest man's girlfriend?:
    You could have her do a reading. That's what I'm asking ny brothers girlfriend to do.
    Posted by michellesean
    Thought of this, but, our church requires the readers to be of our faith which she is not.

    Ceremony sadly, is not an option :( wish it were.
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated
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    edited December 2012
    In Response to Re:How to include my brother'sbest man's girlfriend?:
    In Response to Re:How to include my brother'sbest man's girlfriend? : Thought of this, but, our church requires the readers to be of our faith which she is not. Ceremony sadly, is not an option :( wish it were.
    Posted by colz87
    Not even a secular reading?


    What about just inviting her along to take pictures or something?


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  • At my wedding, I found myself wishing I had asked BIL's girlfriend to be a bridesmaid. It turned out that I'm lucky I didn't, since they broke up a few months later. I'm not saying this would happen, but unless you know you'll still be friends with her should they split, I wouldn't involve her beyond being your brother's date.

    That said, if she is truly your friend in addition to dating your brother, there's absolutely no reason you can't have her as a bridesmaid. (Hint: sides don't need to be even.)
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    Just invite her as a guest.  That is an honor in and of itself.

    But like artbyallie said, if she has truly become a close friend then ask her to be a BM.  Forget about numbers and just worry about who you would most like standing by your side on the day you get married.  If you can't invision this girl standing up there then just invite her to be a guest.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    Ditto Allie on the bridesmaid idea. If she is your friend and not just your brother's SO (translation: if they broke up, would you still be friends?) ask her to be a bridesmaid. If not, just invite her as a guest. Anything else is just a silly job invented to give someone something to do that they don't really want to do anyway.  
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    Make sure she is seated with the brother at the meal. Get her a corsage. Invite her to be with you while you get dressed. Invite her to be in some photos.
  • thanks all, some interesting points.

    i'd feel weird asking her to be in the bridal party now because i asked my girls (and he asked the guys) a while ago now so it would totally seem like an after thought. 

    i think moving forward i just have to try to include her as much as possible on things and make her feel special and involved.. along the way. 


  • I agree with previous posters. Seat her with your brother at dinner and include her if you are having transportation for the wedding party. I would also include her in some family pictures but think it is okay to not have her in every picture. You may also want to have her sit in front with your parents depending on what she prefers. If you want you could invite her to drop by wherever you are getting ready, although she may prefer to hang out with your brother and the guys before the ceremony. I wouldn't stress about not having her as a bridesmaid or trying to come up with another honor.
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  • Are you getting hair and makeup done before the wedding? Maybe you could invite her to join in on that if she wants to? I have a few close friends who are not in my WP that asked if they could come get ready with all of us and I was pretty excited about that.

  • Agree with PPs.  If she can't do a reading because of faith requirements, I'd lean more toward acknowledging her with a corsage or by asking her if she wants to be included in events as much as possible.  Could she be an usherette?
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