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JulieSher

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zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mothers-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f62258b1-862f-4132-b8c8-524a4bd13d6fPost:925c989c-3d40-45dc-93ed-e83743747638">Mother's opinion</a>:
[QUOTE]When I became engaged 6 monthes ago, I knew my mom was going to be a big part of the wedding planning.The problem is my mom seems to think I should run EVERYTHING by her before I make any choices.          My fiance and I found a venue we liked,  so we brought my mom there to see and she didn't like it so we chose another venue without her seeing it. She was not happy about that but she let it alone after a fight. Then I knew a photographer I liked and brought my mom to meet her.I also have my mom come with me to look at dresses and I listen to her opinion there. I include my mom in all the parts of planning, but if I ever make a decision without her she gets upset. My fiance and I are having a wedding at a church so we will have a few hours in between the ceremony and reception and my mom (who was opposed to the idea) was not included in that decision and that made her mad.     I have not really worried about this until this week when I told my mom that a band we love said they will play for FREE and my mom was not happy about it. This band are close personal friends of my fiance and I and we were so happy when they agreed to play. My mom is mad that I didn't tell her before we decided to have them play and is worried about there "professionalism" even though I told her we have seen them at weddings before and we know them personally.     When I do have an idea that I tell her about she almost always doesn't like it, When I tell her of professional photographers I know she says "you don't just want friends taking pictures with a digital camera"  when I told her about the band I knew she says she is worried about there "professionalism" and "general appeal" even though she has never seen them. I want her to be a part of this but how can I get her to understand that I listen to her opinions but I am the one making the decisions!!! She says that she doesn't understand why I don't automatically ask for her opinion when I like something. Is that a normal thing people do? P.S. She is not paying for any of this, only the dress.
Posted by JulieSher[/QUOTE]

She's not paying for anything? Then SHUT. YOUR. PIEHOLE. She's proven that she's going to nay-say every single one of your ideas, so stop telling her stuff.
 
Easy-peasy.

vicki0508

Ziti is right.  And in the future, it's generally frowned upon to delete your posts. 

But, maybe you got everything off your chest and decided posting was a bad idea.  That totally legit.  In that case, you could come back and ask Ziti to edit her post so you aren't quoted.

em01092

I don't get why OP DDd. The reply was not even that bad...

eorea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mothers-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f62258b1-862f-4132-b8c8-524a4bd13d6fPost:db4ea1ab-356d-49a2-bf93-764f0178895b">Re: blank</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't get why OP DDd. The reply was not even that bad...
Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree. The reply basically said her mom isn't paying for anything so stop telling her stuff. Why delete the post?! </div>

sweetrwoutsugar

For someone's very first post on a forum, the initial feedback can be a deal-breaker for staying. I used to moderate a forum, and saw that happen all the time. It may not have been gentle enough for someone's very first reply.


   JulieSher, you have every right to want to make the decisions for your wedding. I suggest asking your mom what is bothering her to the point that she wants you to run everything past her. Is it that she, deep down, is worried that you won't have the best ever wedding? Is it that she secretly wants the wedding of her dreams? Maybe she is just having trouble letting you go and letting you be the grown woman she knew you would become someday.
   If you stop and ask her, "Mom, what is truly troubling you? You don't really think that I would purposely do something that could mess up my wedding, do you? Let's talk." Then perhaps, you'll not only get to the bottom of it and stop the hassling, but also your mom will see that you are concerned about your relationship with her. It took several tries with my mom (over a non-wedding situation), but it was well worth it when she finally opened up.
   I wish you the best!