Bridal Shower Invitations - Help Please!

Megan&Craig2010

Hi -- I can't seem to find an answer to this anywhere, so I am hoping that someone on here can help me or at least lead me in the right direction

I am throwing a shower for a dear friend who is going to have a very small wedding with only immediate family members present. How do we go about wording the shower invitations to reflect that? The shower will really be the only time that family & friends can congratulate the bride and celebrate the occasion of being engaged/getting married.

Should we try to find a way to word it on the invitation that the wedding will be small, or should we just leave it up to the bride to explain it to others? It is really a sticky situation, but we wanted to go ahead and throw a shower for her. She is not having a reception.

Any advice/suggestions/recommendations is appreciated

vicki0508

Only people who are invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower.

ajweden84

A close friend of mine from high school is getting married in July but had sent us all a personal message that it was a small family wedding.  Totally understand as I am soooo happy for her!!

Her mom threw her a 'Tea Party' when she was home from CO, and invited all of us girls.  It was a great way to be able to celebrate her day with her! : )

Megan&Craig2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridal-shower-invitations-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f85d3eaf-3c9e-434f-89b7-590e87e0c8bdPost:8b72327b-035c-4bce-93ed-75be32b93265">Re: Bridal Shower Invitations - Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]Only people who are invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower.
Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

I know traditionally you should only invite the people who are invited to the wedding to the shower also, but that would include a total of about 6 women. We want to do something nice for her, and a couple of family members expressed interest in having a bridal shower, so we thought a shower would be a lovely idea since she wishes to not have a reception.

graysquirrel

There isn't anything wrong with small showers. Both of mine will be about 6 people. If you are calling it a shower, then I'd only invite people who will be at the wedding. However, if you want to do something else for her, I'd wait till after the wedding and do a celebratory luncheon or something so that it doesn't appear gift-grabby.

steffenfam

Have the shower - etiquette be damned!  Sorry, I get so sick the the etiquette BS.  I have a group of friends that we give showers for all the daughters.  Everyone in our group understands that there are limits on wedding numbers, and not everyone is invited, however we ALL want to wish the bride and groom the best.  And we love an excuse for a party!

vicki0508

You can throw any celebratory party you want, before or after the wedding doesn't matter.  If the bride is after "well wishes" then she shouldn't register and it shouldn't be called a shower.  Just throw a party.

kellyb1487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridal-shower-invitations-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f85d3eaf-3c9e-434f-89b7-590e87e0c8bdPost:74f2e809-6ee0-4b5f-8a37-b00a48a4f8ca">Re: Bridal Shower Invitations - Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why do some people think that "letting" the guest purchase a gift and come to the shower is an honor to the GUEST?
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

THIS!

steffenfam

"Why do some people think that "letting" the guest purchase a gift and come to the shower is an honor to the GUEST?"

Perhaps to honor the BRIDE?

vicki0508

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridal-shower-invitations-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f85d3eaf-3c9e-434f-89b7-590e87e0c8bdPost:5da48a1b-4db1-43c4-8d33-0202b2632e26">Re: Bridal Shower Invitations - Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]"Why do some people think that "letting" the guest purchase a gift and come to the shower is an honor to the GUEST?" <strong>Perhaps to honor the BRIDE</strong>?
Posted by steffenfam[/QUOTE]
I don't understand what you're getting at. 

The guest should feel honored that they were allowed to honor the bride with a gift?  What?

steffenfam

Yes.  A bridal shower is thrown to honor the bride, is it not?  It's not to honor the guest.

I have a different take on the whole "only those invited to the wedding can be invited to the shower" thing.  I understand, and my friends understand, that there are number constraints that not everone can be invited to a wedding, no one's feelings get hurt, and we are thrilled to be able to honor the brides in our group with a shower.  Now if I was invited to a shower of someone I didn't really know, and I wasn't invited to the wedding, then I could see the point of the etiquette thing.

I was not invited to a wedding of a friend's daughter.  I understood that both bride and groom had large families and that not everyone could be invited.  My feelings were not hurt.  I sent a gift anyway.

Megan&Craig2010

What if we write "gifts optional" on the invites? The guests wouldn't be obligated to bring a gift. It's not about asking for gifts.
It's about honoring the bride-to-be and gathering her family and friends to celebrate.
The guests would be in for an afternoon of fun and games, spending time with the bride, and having good food.

I considered the idea of being traditional and inviting only the attendees of the wedding, but honestly, the only attendees of the wedding are going to be parents. This is just something we wanted to do for our friend.

We did think about doing a post-wedding celebration, but the bride has specifically stated she did not want a reception, and her schedule is hectic after the wedding. This was the only way we figured we could honor the bride and bring her closest friends and family together to celebrate her upcoming wedding.

Megan&Craig2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridal-shower-invitations-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f85d3eaf-3c9e-434f-89b7-590e87e0c8bdPost:15da14de-6ea1-4e1c-8cc8-fbbb35873211">Re: Bridal Shower Invitations - Help Please!</a>:
[QUOTE] Why not have a dinner party or luncheon or something after the wedding?
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

This is a great idea, but both the bride and groom are in grad school and work alot. The wedding day is really the only available day they both have and it has been a last minute plan and it is small. They insisted on having no reception afterwards. They want to keep it small and intimate.

Although this is quite non-traditional,  we will still continue on with the original plan. I think we will just go ahead and throw the wedding shower. Several guests that will be invited (mostly familly) have already stated they are bringing a gift regardless.

No matter what we call it - a shower, a luncheon, a dinner party, an after-party, whatever -- it is still in celebration of the wedding and people will want to bring some sort of gift to honor the bride and groom.

Thanks everyone for all of the feedback, opinions, responses, advice, ect. It has sparked a lot of ideas for this shower and I'm looking forward to throwing it for my friend!

mrsmoore0801

Some of you all are absolutely ridiculous! It is their wedding, they can do it however they want too. Not everyone has to follow specifically by the book. I would be honored they wanted to atleast celebrate with me regardless of a big or small wedding!
There is no need to have parents only shower, why go through all the trouble anyways. The parents always help anyways, why would they want to help if it was just for them. Doesn't make much sense!

Sounds like the bride and groom are pretty set on what they want. They obviously don't want a reception. A shower is the best option. I'd be glad if I was invited to such a special occasion.