Future sister-in-law and MIL driving me crazy...

blschmidt3

I need some major advice....my fml is so opionionated. It all started when we were planning who would be in our wedding party we decided we would only have a small wedding party to begin with. Well his mom did not like the idea that his sister wasn't asked and tried to guilt me for weeks on it. I eventually gave in and said ok. Just a few days after asking her she told me I'm not wearing pink and it better not be frilly...I was taken off guard a little just because I hardly know her. But this is only the beginning...soon after this his mom made a huge deal about not having all the nieces and nephews in the wedding saying it's going to hurt them so badly if they aren't asked. I also gave in there..Long story short my Fiance ended up telling his sister she couldn't be in the wedding because of how she is acting. A week later she calls me and tells me she is going to plan a vow renewal for her and her husbands 6th wedding anniversary. She told me that she is going to have everyone in it and then told me it will be only two weeks after our wedding...I feel like she is jealous and trying to always out do me...am I overreacting? 

SJM7538

I don't necessarily think you're over reacting but you never should have given in and asked her to be a BM if you didn't want her to be. And your fiance should have dealt with his mother and backed you up... I can't tell from your post if he did this or not?
 
Kicking her out of the WP may have been a bit harsh. From what other people on this board have said this can be a relationship ending move...are you and your fiance ready for that?


As for the vow renewal, as long as its not ON your wedding day then it doesn't matter when it is, but personally I think a vow renewal for six years is pretty stupid.

MairePoppy

She's going to look ridiculous if she has a pretend wedding with a wedding party for a vow renewal on her 6th anniversary. Whatever you do, don't give her the satisfaction of knowing that it bothers you. Just tell her you're sorry that you are going to miss her big day because you will be away on your honeymoon that weekend.

It was wrong of your fi to kick his sister out of your wedding party. He should have stood up to his mom if neither of you wanted her in the wedding party. But once you ask someone, you're stuck.

GoodLuckBear14

You FI needs to have a serious talk with his family.  It also wan't his call to say if his sister is your BM.  He is not the one who gets to kick her out so as far as I'm concerned, she is still in the WP unless she was supposed to be standing as a groomswoman.

blschmidt3

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_future-family-driving-me-crazzy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb78e860-a792-4853-9971-f8dd7935776bPost:46c3c461-20a9-4783-9d9f-f08ea49ec7d8">Re: Future sister-in-law and MIL driving me crazy...</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't necessarily think you're over reacting but you never should have given in and asked her to be a BM if you didn't want her to be. And your fiance should have dealt with his mother and backed you up... I can't tell from your post if he did this or not?   Kicking her out of the WP may have been a bit harsh. From what other people on this board have said this can be a relationship ending move...are you and your fiance ready for that? As for the vow renewal, as long as its not ON your wedding day then it doesn't matter when it is, but personally I think a vow renewal for six years is pretty stupid.
Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]
Yeah I totally agree, I'm terrible with being a push over in these situations I suppose and my Fiance just  freaked out when he heard she was doing this whole vow renewal thing so close to our wedding which is why they had such a huge blow up. I have pretty much been staying out of it all but his mother is just constantly saying snide remarks about EVERYTHING. My fiance and his sister are on better terms now though which is good and all that matters I guess is that I get to marry my best friend at the end of the day right?:) Thanks for your time to give me some advice it really helped.