FMIL Dress

daganielle

My FMIL did not have a traditional wedding and has only been in her sister's to my knowledge. She is not very sentimental and that's ok, because I'm picky
She, however, rarely changes out of sweatpants or jeans so I know it will be a struggle to find something for her to wear to the wedding.
The first time we discussed her wedding outfit she was thinking "dress pants". I know my mother will be dressed in a formal dress and the wedding, although DIY, will be formal. On top of it all, my FMIL, is also qute a bit overweight and although she would like to lose weight for the wedding I don't think she will. ( This is an issue because she doesn't want to shop for the dress just in case she spendds the money and drops a bunch of weight)  She is also on an extreme budget.
HELP!
thanks

Maggie0829

If she would like to wear dress pants then she is at liberty to do so.  You cannot tell her what to wear no matter how picky you are.  All you can do is tell her the level of formality of your event and let her buy what she feels most comfortable in.

And as for dressy pants, there are many out there that would be very appropriate for a formal wedding.

MobKaz

If your wedding really isn't until next May, and your FMIL is budget conscious, she would fare well to shop just prior to or after New Year's Day.  All the holiday and NYE partywear will be on major clearance. 

Among that holiday and party apparel will be a plethora of party dress suits and pants.  Many of the pants look like long skirts.  Have you ever looked at such pants?  They often do not have a traditional waistband, and are not necessarily tapered.  She would look lovely, and be comfortable.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/mother-of-the-bride-separates?origin=leftnav

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-dress-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ffb297f3-1acc-4345-afe3-d5242f6829cdPost:4598cfd2-4278-4887-a2ca-f615ad8f0d3e">FMIL Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]My FMIL did not have a traditional wedding and has only been in her sister's to my knowledge. She is not very sentimental and that's ok, because I'm picky She, however, rarely changes out of sweatpants or jeans so I know it will be a struggle to find something for her to wear to the wedding. <strong>The first time we discussed her wedding outfit she was thinking "dress pants".</strong> I know my mother will be dressed in a formal dress and the wedding, although DIY, will be formal . On top of it all, my FMIL, is also qute a bit overweight and although she would like to lose weight for the wedding I don't think she will . ( This is an issue because she doesn't want to shop for the dress just in case she spendds the money and drops a bunch of weight)  She is also on an extreme budget. HELP! thanks
Posted by daganielle[/QUOTE]


There's nothing wrong with dressy pants for a wedding, even a more formal one. Many of the dressy pants out in the evening wear sections for women are very flowy and end up even looking like a skirt instead of pants. Either way, she is a grown woman and you can't tell her how to dress, even if she is very casual. I don't care how picky you are; it would be rude to suggest to her that she can't dress herself or that what she picks out doesn't cut it.

if she ASKS for you to shop with her or asks your opinion on an outfit, that's one thing (and you still need to be nice about it). But many women are not comfortable in dresses or skirts and just because your mom is, doesn't mean FMIL should have to wear a dress or a skirt. As for the weight thing, i would hold off too if I was losing weight. When is your wedding? Outfits don't need to be picked out until about 2-3 months prior, depending where you get them from. Unless you're getting married before Aug., I really wouldn't be concerned about her getting an outfit yet anyway.

ElisabethJoanne

I agree with PPs

Though if there's some cross-cultural issues, theknot consensus was a bit different from what you're getting here.

willywally5

She needs to be comfortable and some of those dressy pants outfits are GORGEOUS.  She is a grown woman and can dress herself, even if it isn't up to your standards. 

Honestly, I'm a MOB and a bit overweight myself and you need to not make this a big deal. I am VERY cognizant about my extra weight and know what looks best on me and what I am comfortable appearing in front of a large number of friends/relatives. She may have a lot of anxiety about it, so please, please, please be understanding.

That being said, I also did ask my daughter's opinion about the things I was trying on as it is important to me that she like it, too. I did defer to her on color (was hemming/hawing between an olive green and  a cocoa brown; She liked brown bettter so brown it is!)

(I was lucky enough to find a kick-a$$ dress that I look and feel amazing in, but that is me!)

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-dress-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ffb297f3-1acc-4345-afe3-d5242f6829cdPost:4598cfd2-4278-4887-a2ca-f615ad8f0d3e">FMIL Dress</a>:
[QUOTE]My FMIL did not have a traditional wedding and has only been in her sister's to my knowledge. She is not very sentimental and that's ok, because I'm picky She, however, rarely changes out of sweatpants or jeans so I know it will be a struggle to find something for her to wear to the wedding. The first time we discussed her wedding outfit she was thinking "dress pants". I know my mother will be dressed in a formal dress and the wedding, although DIY, will be formal . On top of it all, my FMIL, is also qute a bit overweight and although she would like to lose weight for the wedding I don't think she will . ( This is an issue because she doesn't want to shop for the dress just in case she spendds the money and drops a bunch of weight)  She is also on an extreme budget. HELP! thanks
Posted by daganielle[/QUOTE]

<div>My mother is a plus-sized lady and, had the dress she finally selected not worked, we were going to look at more outfits that included dressy pants. She found a dress she loved from roamans, but I wouldn't've been upset in the slightest if she had chosen to wear a nice pants outfit.</div><div>
</div><div>If your date is still next May, you're nearly a year away from the event. Let her work at her own pace until <em>at most </em>four months before the wedding, and appoint someone else (like her son) to be the one to check in with her--unless you want to offer to go shopping with her. </div><div>
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Ilumine

Other than the wedding party (where you should use common sense and empathy), you have no right to "choose" anyone else's wear to your wedding.