Makeup virgin + traumatic trial = Panic

Ravenclaw79

I had my hair and makeup trials yesterday. The hair part went totally fine.  The makeup, not so much.

She did that thing where they do your makeup away from a mirror and then have you turn around for the big unveiling, "ta-da!"  Except... I've never, ever worn eye makeup before.  So instead of "oh, I look beautiful," I started to cry, and the first words I could get out were "I look like a whore!" 

But everyone kept telling me I looked beautiful, it was subtle, it was fine.  Even my mom, who wouldn't lie to me, said I looked great.  And they showed me pictures of other brides, and true, they all had darker eyes than I did, much worse.  And I decided to walk around all day with it on, just to see, 'cause I know that to a large extent, I'm the problem here -- I'm not used to seeing myself in eye makeup, so where everyone else sees subtle and beautiful, I see dark freaky owl whore eyes, like a kid playing in their mom's makeup box.

And I just.... eh.  I mean, I sort of got used to it, a little.  But still, I wanted "myself, but my BEST self," and it just doesn't look like me, these huge dark rings around my eyes (though they swore they used the thinnest, subtlest things they have).  I found myself thinking, "well, if everyone ELSE thinks I look beautiful, then maybe I should just not look in any mirrors on my wedding day, and it'll be fine."  But that's not right, right?  Shouldn't I be able to look at myself and think I look beautiful?

So I'm looking to schedule another makeup trial.  But the thing is, I DO want to look really good in my pictures.  I don't want to look washed out and crappy in a white dress outside in the sun.  So I just don't know.  I'm so depressed and traumatized and freaked out about this.  Can I maybe just do mascara and no eyeliner?  Would that be alright?  I don't know.

morenachica110

I would look online and find pictures of makeups looks that you DO like and show it to the MUA at your next trial. Of course you want to look at yourself and think you're beautiful on your wedding day so I'd look for things that you do like. Also, try to remember that makeup won't look as pronounced in your pictures. Good luck!

entropicbeauty

I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask for no eyeliner. Mascara should be fine and the most important thing I think would be to just have good foundation application etc. so you don't look washed out. 

dplett

I know how you feel!  I do wear make-up sometimes (more now with my new job) but always very very subtle and almost never eyeliner.  I told my make-up artist this and she did subtle make-up for my trial.  However I felt like the eyeliner was really dark, she used black and I have a pale complexion and lighter eyes. 

Everyone said that I looked amazing and so beautiful but I was still concerned.  My confirmation came when my (then) FI saw me.  He had forgotten that I had my hair/make-up trial and was really surprised when he saw me, therefore I got an honest response from him.  He loved my hair but I could tell that he didn't love the make-up.  He later said that the eyes were a little dark for him and he'd rather have me looking more like I look normally, just a little 'extra' because that is the girl that he thought was crazy beautiful and that he fell in love with. 

I told my make-up artist this and instead of using eyeliner she used a smokey eyeshadow to line my eyes. It was way more subtle but still looked great.  Both my husband and I loved the results and the pictures turned out great.

I would say to allow slightly more make-up than you feel really comfortable with but if you  don't like it, get her to change it.  Like you said, you want to feel totally beautiful on your weddin gday, and I have no doubt that you will be!

[Deleted User]

You still need to look like yourself in your picture, don't worry you'll look amazing one way or the other!  I agree with PP, Look online for less dramatic makeup choices.

blubuilding

For my engagement photos, I got my hair and makeup done. I felt like a clown. Maybe i did look good but it wasn't me. I felt uncomfortable. I feel your pain. Anyway, I washed it all off! I put on some mascara, powder, and lip stain, and got my pictures taken that way. I agree that you should feel like yourself. Never on your wedding day should you feel like a whore. I am positive that there is a MUA who can give you a flawless natural look. Bring in pictures of what you like for your next trial run.

LittleMissCutiePie

I'm not going to insist that you probably looked beautiful; you're overreacting, etc. I understand where you're coming from. And you probably did look beautiful, but that doesn't matter one iota if you feel uncomfortable. Ask for no eyeliner. Just mascara. Brown mascara; it looks a lot less severe. That's my opinion.

rlavach

Well if you're saying that all of your honest family said you looked beautiful, then maybe you really did? There is nothing wrong with admitting that. I can't really relate to you because I wear a full face of makeup daily and am in the beauty industry. I do understand that you want to & should feel like yourself on that day, just more polished.

I agree with the others in searching online for examples of makeup that you feel aren't too dramatic. You can ask for no eyeliner (although eyeliner does really help emphasize your eye). Your MUA can use a darker eyeshadow instead, if that's ok. Have her do the trial with you watching in a mirror. So as she adds the layers of color on your eyelids, you can stop her if you feel that it gets to a spot that you find acceptable. 

sbradke

I felt the same way after my make up trial.I wear little makeup and never eyeliner.I think I'll go again somewhere else and insist that black eyeliner NOT be used. I have blonde hair and greenish bluish eyes so that was just too harsh.  Maybe a smoky grey would work.  I agree wih everyone. YOU have to like how you look, not your family.

harpsdesire

You should ask them to skip eyeliner and use a 'natural daytime look' on you-- insist on a look YOU like!

You can also go for a pastel eye color like lavender, peach, champagne, depending on your skin tone.  Yes, it will not show up much in pictures, but if you're a makeup virgin that probably means you're a lady who looks beautiful totally makep-free, so that's not much of a downside in my opinion.

emeejeeayen

How did they do the eyeliner? What is your complexion? From your description, I get the sense that you're rather pale (I love porcelain skin, in case that came off as critical), and they did eyeliner on top and bottom of your eye? That can look harsh sometimes. 

Maybe I'm way off, but how do you feel about something more like this: http://media-cache-ec1.pinterest.com/upload/187321665720454796_YxWrPEb7_f.jpg

She has very little eyeliner on - mostly just a few fake eyelashes toward the outer corners of her upper lids. 

Or something like this: http://media-cache-ec6.pinterest.com/upload/258957047293845462_JrdsWZsP_f.jpg

She has eyeliner on her top lid that is cateye look. The rest of her makeup is very subtle. 

Stinalove44

I would say, use a gray eyeliner and only on the bottom(if you use any) and then us a brown/black mascara, it will still coat your lashes and make them look long but its not so dark, its more natural. and then maybe a nude colored eyeshadow and lipstick. It will be just enough to make your eyes and lips pop without making you feel like you have to much make up on.