MOH taking over!!

BreannaBurrier89

My fiance and I had a date picked out, but my MOH (I have two) are pushing me to do everything extremely fast. Making me feel as though I have to decide EVERYTHING this weekend. We had the date picked out for Feb 23, 2013. So I knew we needed to find a place ASAP, but we are also buying a house and our final down paynment is due tomorrow so money is tight for the next two weeks. After that its wedding mode.

My MOH's have made me feel more strssed out than anything and it feels as though their trying to take over my wedding like it is theirs. They FORCED me to go look at dresses yestersay without my mother whom I want with me. They are not respecting anything I am asking and are running amuck. My colors are brown and green and their saying they want black dresses.

How do you handle MOHs that do not listen to you nor respect you, and honestly down right make me want to change the date and not tell them!!?!

HELP!!

MyUserName1

No one can force you to do anything.  Just politely decline. You're well within your rights to inform them that you don't want them in black dresses.

Just keep standing up for yourself, politely

If they take you to a dress shop, for instance, you DON'T have to try on dresses.  Just keep saying "Thank you for your input, I'll consider it" on things.

Don't talk about wedding details with them.

Also, you might want to XP this on a more active board.  Maybe etiquette. You'll get more advice.

fallbride1109

No one can FORCE you to do anything.  They are probably just excited and hopefully they will calm down but if they don't, you will need to take control of the situation and let them know nicely that hey, we just got engaged and are going to proceed slowly.  They don't have to be involved in every decision like the venue--that is for you and your FI to choose.  If they talk about colors, be polite but let them know that YOU have a vision in your head already of what you want and that is how it's going to be.

And the next time you go look at dresses, take your mother and leave them at home.

HobokensFury

No one can force you to do anything but honestly you're running out of time.  Many places book 2 years out and dresses can take 9 months to come in so you should be worried about not getting everything done.  But to answer your question next time just politely decline their "help".

kiki1978

You need to stand up for yourself now because they will only get worse as you get closer to the wedding. You can nicely tell them it's your wedding and you'll let them know when you are ready to do things. Have you told them you will be in wedding mode after you get the house stuff taken care of?

[Deleted User]

Um, ignore them. This isn't difficult. Don't let them pressure you. It's good advice to go ahead and get a checklist of some sort, kind of like the one on TheKnot.com, so that you can stay focused and on top of the wedding planning. But you should do things when you and your fiance want to do things. Whoever is paying for the wedding should have the biggest say.  The next time one of your MOHs bring up what you should do, ask them if they'll pay for it, lol. This is the exact reason why my MOH is my close (and quiet) cousin. She's not an attention craver, and doesn't feel the need to tell me what to do. One of my bridesmaid is the exact opposite, and that's why she's just that, a bridesmaid. 

BreannaBurrier89

Thank you ladies for the help! I have since then kicked both of them out of the picture actually because I kindly explained to them what I was feeling and they didnt like that and started being immature so I just distanced myself from them.

We have found our venue and booked it no problem! We did change our date though because my fiances sister has a horse show on Feb 23, so we are now doing March 9.

I am taking my time and thinking about who I want for MOH now. I do not handle stress very well so the stress is getting to me now, and right now I'm not enjoying anything having to do with this planning, I actually just can't wait for to be over and done with.