Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Estranged dad walking me down the aisle with my mom?

I've never been close with my dad (parents divorced when I was 3, remarried each other when I was 10 and divorced again when I was 17). We are on shaky speaking terms, sometimes going months (once a year) without talking. He was rude to my fiance when we first started dating but has since started making an effort to be nice. My mom and stepdad are paying for the wedding and I've asked my mom to walk me down the aisle (even though I'm still inviting my dad and stepmom). How should I go about telling him I don't want him walking me down? Or since he's making an effort now, should I ask him to walk me with my mom? They can hardly be around each other, so I'm kind of worried, and there's a looming child support battle for my little brothers.

Do I forgive my dad and have both parents walk me? Do I have to exclusively talk to him about this?

Re: Estranged dad walking me down the aisle with my mom?

  • Ooh, I'm in almost the same dilemma, I have a step dad who I do not wish to walk me down the isle, and a father who I barely know. I would talk privately (and respectfully!) to your father and tell him that you have already asked your mom to walk you down the isle, Instead, find something else important he can do, is he invited to stand in your recieving line? Ask him to help usher, whatever you would feel comfortable with him participating in. It makes him feel important without having both parents walking you down the isle.
  • It is completely ok for you to walk by yourself, with all parents and step-parents in attendance as guests.  Just a thought.
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  • My advice would be to talk to both your mother and your father and see how they feel about the matter. If your mother doesn't mind, and your father accepts, then let them. Otherwise, just keep it to your mom.
  • Keep in mind, as a basic rule:
    This is a day you want and deserve to be surrounded by the people in your life who love and support you.  These are the people who will go out of their way for your day to be special.

    Love your family and friends and
    Enjoy your day.

    Good luck!!
  • I have a simalar situation, I have not spoken to my father in nearly 2 years and am trying to decide if I should even invite him or just risk him crashing it. I was not invited to attend his remarriage and he testified against me in court. Also, when I was growig up he was only there for me when he wanted to be. I know the bible says you should honor your parents, but I don't think that I should invite him just because it would be rude not to.

    I suggest finding something else he can do and having a father daughter dance. Also try and seat them as far away from each other as possible.

    Good Luck!!!!
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