an option for a caterer

bmgregory

My fianace and I are paying for our wedding ourselves. I am still in school and wont be graduating until august. money is tight and i dont wanna start my marriage of broke or in debt. We found a inexpensive reception hall and r thinkin of having our families cook to save money. Should I just go with a caterer or is this a realistic option?

bakerie

Go with a caterer. Your families should not have to work at your reception.

Grits8812

If they offer, it is alright I guess depending on how large your wedding will be, and how casual it will be.  I have thought about doing this for our wedding, but ours will also be small and laid back.

It's a huge hassle though.  You spend hours on end making all this food right before your wedding day when you should be relaxing and trying not to stress out over how you are going to make sure all the food is hot and edible.

NOLAbridealmost

Use a caterer.  Or try other options like having it informally catered by local restaurants.  Lots of BBQ, Italian, Chinese, and Mexican restaurants have incredibly reasonable prices on large trays of food.  If you have one or two family members offer their help (don't ask!) you could have them put out the trays of food, the stacks of paper plates, cups, silverware, and do little tasks.   Even if they offer to completely do everything including the cooking I'd avoid that because they should be able to enjoy the day and they can't do that if they're preparing food.  

Definitely don't ask family to help though. It's rude to ask or to assume that anyone will help work the wedding other than you and the people you hire. 

tldh

Please read GLB's response in this thread.

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_self-catering-outdoor-wedding-near-dc?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special

Avion22

Potluck also leads to food safety issues.  Licensed caterers have the equipment needed to keep food at safe temperatures, and your family members presumably do not (unless they also happen to be licensed caterers).    It would suck to have all of your guests get sick because something wasn't kept at the right temperature.

hansa11

How big and formal is your wedding going to be? 

Even if your family likes to cook for a lot of people, they probably haven't cooked for that many people before.  It's stressful and it's a lot of work.  I've been to a couple large, self-catered events (like graduation parties) where there wasn't enough food, the food wasn't ready on time, there weren't enough supplies, etc. and the guests were grumbling.  On your wedding day, you, your groom and your family have so much going on that preparing and serving food would be honestly too much and you wouldn't get to enjoy the day.

I understand your need to find creative ways to keep costs down. My husband and I paid for our wedding on a small budget and we brainstormed every possibility from a potluck (nixed that because I thought it wasn't appropriate and too complicated for a wedding) to having a barbecue reception.  If you're paying for the wedding, you're the hosts, so it would be even ruder to expect family or friends to cook. 

Go with catered food, whether from a restaurant or a grocery store.  These tend to be cheaper than a catering business, but you often have to pick up the food and provide your own warming trays for hot food. You can have a lunch reception and go with sandwhich platters and pasta salads.  It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. 

Your other options are to cut your guest list or host a cake and punch reception in the afternoon. 

mandctaft

IMO, I think its fine to ask your family to help cook (moms, g-mas, aunts) No one too extended. I'd definitely offer to help pay for the food though. Also, we are catering our own wedding. FI is going to be throwing salt potatoes and meatballs in roasters the morning of, but we're planning on hiring a couple high school kids (cousin's friends) that want to refill/ switch out empty plates for $20 apiece or so. That way, no one in my family will have to work on the day of the wedding.

ETA: I have a very close family and they would be offended if I DIDN'T ask for their help. So the etiquette doesn't really apply here.

bmgregory

Thanks for all you guys advice.. we have been lookin at some all inclusive facilities around town and have found some that are inexpensive. But we have a couple of back ups just i case. thank u so much guys it helps alot