Being apart the night before.....

jkchs2003

Do you really have spend the night before apart? Meaning sleep at seperate places. My FI and I have been together 7 years and have lived together for 4.5 years. I really don't think that staying that one night away from each other is going to accomplish anything, why do people do it anyway? Is it some sort of supersition?

[Deleted User]

I hear ya. I don't know where it comes from, maybe to have some alone time for final thoughts before you tie the knot and are single no more, heck I don't know.  Nowadays where a lot of couples live together, etc before marriage, I don't think its that big of a deal. We live together as well, but will be staying apart the night bc I need to be closer to all of my appts in the morning for hair, etc.  We live out of state and he is going to stay at his parents and I will stay with my Grandma who lives closer to the salon.

tracy_k

I think it goes with the whole "the groom doesn't see the bride on the wedding day" idea. If you're sleeping in the same bed, he'll see you that day (duh, lol).

In my case, we had a bridesmaids brunch at the hotel at 9:30 am, and a hairstylist coming at 11, so it made more sense for me to just stay in the hotel the night before the wedding. My husband offered our guestroom to one of his friends from out of town, so he hung out at home with his friend.

But there's no rule -- do whatever you want.

mushE

We're not going to sleep separately, but I'd assumed FI wanted to, since he's being very firm about not wanting to see my dress until the day of.  We live only 20-30 minutes from where we're getting married, but we'll stay at the hotel on the night before the wedding, because the rehearsal will be in that area.  We decided it would be easier to just stay together, rather than try to find somewhere for one of us to stay, or get an extra room.

I agree with PP - do whatever you want!

britne28

We are going to have a household full of people, it wouldn't make sense for one of us to be out of the house on the night before.  I can understand if you aren't already living together. 

whitneykaye87

I like having a few traditional things like not seeing each other until I'm walking down the aisle.  His GM and BM are staying with him the night before, and I'm sleeping at my parent's house (along with my MOH and BM) the night before.

Aerinpegadrak brings up a good point though...

Amaryllis619

like danieliza said-

my FI and I have been together 4 years, living together for 2, but I like the idea of saying goodnight to him, and not seeing him until the wedding.  I like the tradition, and I like having the anticipation of seeing him and catching up on each other's day.  Sort of makes it stand out as a special occurrence- as it should!

But if you don't want to, then don't, there's no rule about it. 

megk8oz

We spent the night before apart, even though we lived together (at the time) for well over a year.

It's a silly tradition, but we wanted to follow it. My parents live about 5 minutes away from us and my sister never changed our room after I moved out, so I still have a bed there. We got married on New Year's Day and my parents throw a NYE party every year. So this year, after the party, DH just went home without me.

I know it's not for everybody, and I never judge anybody for spending the night before together, but for us this just felt like the "right" thing to do.

lisarose7

It's not required; it's up to the individual couple.  I've lived with my FI for most of our 7 1/2 year relationship, but I'm spending the night before the wedding at my parents' house.  It's partly because I don't want him to see me until the wedding, and partly that my sister/MOH is staying there, my dress is being kept there, and it'll just make getting ready easier.  Plus, the RD is there and it'll be easy to just sleep there after we clean up.

lalap69

I suggested spending the night together to FI because I like the idea of us waking up together that morning, but logistically I just don't think it would work.  Plus there's also the appeal of seeing him for the first time that day as I walk down the aisle.  He likes that part too, so I think we're going to do it that way.

But really, this is one of those things where it's entirely up to you.   Do what makes you happy.

becgrose

My fiance was part of the final dress picking decision. We've been together 4 years and will be getting married on our 5 year dating anniversary. At this point I couldn't imagine spending the night before one of our most important days apart. Even if we stay up all night talking, there's no one else I'd rather spend that night with! I think it's a personal decision. We don't do a lot of traditional stuff anyway... 

luckyme502

We aren't staying together the night before.  I am going with a bunch of girls to a hotel and he is staying home with a bunch of guys.  I think it will be fun with all the girls.  It will be 9 of us in two suites!  I am very excited about it. 

mizri

We're camping the night before....  But we're getting married at a renaissance faire, so we are going to have the rehersal at the faire on Friday night, then camp and have a night of general drunken fun with friends and whoever wants to join the party, and we will probably end up in the same tent, or maybe me and my girls will take over the tent and kick him out.  lol.  

bbyckes

I don't think you have to spend the night away from the person, but saying that, I am planning on staying at a hotel the night before.  For me, it's a logistical thing.  I feel the day will just flow better and I will be less "naggy"  if he is left on his own to do whatever he needs to accomplish the day and me too.  I feel like with make-up and hair peeps, and a BUNCH of people staying at our house, I will be so overwhelmed, it will just work better for us if we're apart the night before.

mRosenberg

I think its so funny that everyone is saying its up to the individual but almost everyone isn't spending the night together. It is cute.