For those including a handfasting

aesthyerin

We are having a friend of ours come up and do the actual "tying". We're starting to work on our program and don't have any idea what to call her.
"Handfaster"?
"Handfasting assistant"?
"Cord Tyer"?

Is there an official name for the person that does this?

jalara48

What a fabulous idea? What script will you be using for it?

We haven't decided if we'll be doing yan, ribbon or twine as yet.

If you hae any websites about this, I'd love to see them!

handfast4me

The official person is called a High Priestess.  :-)  It's originally a Pagan (which pre-dates Christianity) tradition, and where the term Tie the Knot comes from.   However, it doesn't sound like your friend is a Pagan, but just a friend.  If you google "subtle handfasting" a lot of alternative wordings will come up--these are written by people who've been in the broom closet (have to hide that they're Pagans) due to persecution by others.  You may find wording there.   And just google Celtic Handfasting ceremony, LOTS of wording there.  

Pagans always use a natural fiber, such as silk rat tail.  We used three groups of three strands, each being braided, then being all braided together, under the last moon prior to the ceremony.   We also incorported shells, stones, and semi-precious gems in our cord.  Some Scottish Couples use their tartan in a ribbon form (look at electricscotland.com for that) but if you're not Scottish, that may not be an option. 

aesthyerin

Ahhh okay. We are Pagan as well as our friend who is coming up to do the tying, but our officiant is not, just Pagan-friendly. We consider her our Pagan mom, and the wording High Priestess could work for us. Thank you!

handfast4me

If you're a Pagan, then you know calling someone a High Priestess who has not actually achieved that status is not correct.  High Priestess (HP) and priests take years to learn all that's necessary to hold those titles.   It's like calling them a minister when they're a JOP.   I was being sarcastic when I originally wrote that,  because the HP is the one performing the ceremony, usually with a Priest.   We're not in a coven, we're solitary practitioners with a slant toward Welch trad, but my cousin and his wife performed our handfasting ceremony, and they're HP and P in a coven.  In a Pagan ceremony, the friends usually take lesser roles, such as helping to call quarters, etc.  They usually do not do the binding, because it's a rite. 

aesthyerin

Why be sarcastic then? I am Pagan,but have obviously never performed a handfasting. I was not sarcastically asking, but thank you for the reply.

handfast4me

Well, I've never performed one either, (not being a High Priestess).  But I've witnessed several and been one of the partners in my full-on Pagan ceremony. I just find it amazing that someone calls themselves a Pagan but doesn't have any idea about what  High Priestess is.   When I was being saracastic, it was a funny, witty kind of sarcasm that I thought you would get, you being Pagan. 

waterfly

It should be noted that not all who walk a Pagan path are Wiccan-flavored...plenty of us do not use "called quarters," nor would our groups be called covens, nor would we neccessarily have HP and HPS.  Nor, for that matter, are all of us duotheistic.  Granted, not following a specific branch is not the same as not knowing of it at all, and most pagan-types tend to start out with some flavor of Wicca or Wiccan-influenced practice, but it is a pretty important clarification to keep in mind.

As for the original topic...depending on how you're wording the rest of the program, you could even put something like:

Officiant--Rhonda Murray
Maid of Honor--Mary Smith
Best Man--Benjamin Richards
Handfasting--Susan Jones
Reading #1--Thomas Reid
Reading #2--Cassandra Stuart
and so on...

aesthyerin

Waterfly, thank you. I thought I was asking a simple question, thank you for the simple reply.
I have plenty of other things to say, but will not.

Adrini76

I found other pagans here! I need to friend you guys. 

zenjenn

you could call her a celebrant if you haven;t given that monacre to someone else.  our HP will be doing it, but she's also our officiant...so we'll probably just call her that.   

handfast4me

As I stated in my earlier post, I am a solitary practioner myself, I am not Wiccan.  However, even those like me, who are not in a coven, should know the basic titles.  It's just like many protestants calling their "leader" a minister.   Every thing I've ever googled and read (such as in the Rites of the Crystal Well, and A Romantic Guide to Handfasting) uses the terms HP. 

waterfly

Being in a group has nothing to do with whether or not one follows a certain path...nor does following one of a rather large number of paths under the umbrella heading of "pagan" mean that all groups in that heading follow the same infrastructure or use the same titles(or even follow similar rituals...I can think of a number who do not, in fact, cast circles or call quarters...that's an import from ceremonial magic).  One can be Wiccan without being part of a group, coven or otherwise(unless you're going for straight-up Gardnerian or Alexandrian, in which case lineage can be pretty important). 

However, if you go back and read what I posted, I never claimed you were Wiccan, only that much of neo-paganism has Wiccan overtones, since most(if not all) of the modern pagan movement started up with Gardner & Co.  Since then, though, there have been lots of branchings-out, and some paths(and groups) are closer to the Wiccan roots than others, and a lot of practitioners seem to ascribe to the "all gods are one god, all goddesses are one goddess" and the rest.  Some groups, such as heathens and Asatru, have actually started distancing themselves from the word "pagan" for that reason, and other strict polytheists find themselves having to explain that no, they don't do the "all are one" duotheism thing, despite being/calling themselves pagan.

As for the books you listed, I'm not familiar with Rites of the Crystal Well, but have read A Romantic Guide to Handfasting, and found it to have strong Wiccan influence/overtones.  Again, nothing wrong with any of it, if that's your cup of tea...but I tend to prefer calling a spade a spade.

For the record, I'm not trying to pick a fight or anything here, just to add another perspective...I was also quite pleasantly surprised to find I wasn't alone on here

aesthyerin

Wow I can't believe this is still going on. I want to state that I know basic titles, however I never said the friend we were having come up to tie the knot was doing the ceremony. I did state that we are having a non-pagan officiant and being on such a wide range wedding board I know I have seen many pagans having a pagan friendly wedding and not usually a full blown handfasting.
Anyway, I found my answer and am happy with it so thank you.

hollieheidi

LOLOLOL...I'm soooo faux pas!  We are not pagan, nor having a christan ceremony, however, we are having a handfasting incorporated into our civil ceremony.  Our officiant, who is a friend that was ordained to marry us will be performing the handfasting.  As it is not recognized as a legal ceremony we are simply incorporating it into ours.

We just listed our officiant as our officiant and then listed the parts of the ceremony:

Officiant, John Jones

INTRODUCTION

HANDFASTING

VOWS

EXCHANGE OF RINGS

Maybe if it were a different person performing parts of the ceremony, you could just list them under or after each of the parts rather than give them a specific title.

energizerbunnygirl

I too am please to find other pagans we are going to have a full blown handfasting with a legally ordained Officiant who just happens to be a High Priestess.. My blessing she's my best sister friend. May all your marriages be blessed in love and light -
just another pagan