Given Away vs Escort Down

[Deleted User]

long story short this will be my second wedding ( got married over 12yrs ago when i was 19).... My dad (who didn't raise me) "gave me away" at my 1st wedding... which i didn't have control over that decision. This is MY WEDDING - I'm getting to have all of my ideas heard and done because my fiance and I are paying for it all... My older brother insisted on being my "Escort" because I'm very clumsy and its on the beach.So there is no who gives the woman question in the ceremony.. Now my Aunt (dads sis) has taken upon herself to tell my dad that my brother is "Giving me Away" -- needless to say this has hurt my dad feelings... I don't want my dad to walk me- since we've already did that 12yrs ago. My big brother and I are really close.. now my Aunt(who raised me ) is making a big deal out of this saying that if my dad isn't gonna do it then i should walk alone. My brother has already got his flight,tux and hotel... I'M NOT EVEN COUNTING ON MY DAD TO MAKE THE TRIP BECAUSE ITS COSTLY...

I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings especially my brother.... { i don't even want a dad dance or mother son dance...}   ? HOW DO I JUST LET MY DAD DOWN EASY - CAUSE I REALLY DON'T WANT HIM TO DO IT... 

Lark2013

Just explain to him that he "gave you away" the first time, and this time, you would like to "presented to your FI as his bride".  Your brother means a lot to you, and I'm sure it means a lot to him to be the one walking you down the isle.  Explain that to your dad and your aunt.

MyNameIsNot

Tell your aunt to mind her own business.

Tell your dad that your brother is escorting you, but that no one will be giving you away.  

If you do a program, list your brother as your escort.

good2Bqueen13

Once you give something away, you really can't give it away again.  It's pretty simple.  If I have an orange, and I give it to you, I can't very well then give it to my best friend.  You were already given.  If any one has the right to give you away at this point, it's your ex-husband.  Because you were "given" to him.  Surely if you explain it like that, both you aunt and father will be so taken aback that neither of them will wish to discuss it further.

I really hope that doesn't sound rude.  I only mention it because I'm in a similar position in that I don't want to be "given away".  My father offered my hand in marriage to a man I wound up not marrying - totally dodged a bullet there.  As far as I'm concerned, I've been on my own for 20+ years so I own myself.  When he balks about not walking me down the isle, I'm going to tell him basically the same thing I suggested you tell your family.