Need Major Help

rebeccam92

Okay so my parents are divored and my father is remarried. MY fiance is adopted, his birth mother was 16 and her parents made her give him up for adoption, growing up they reconnected. Our problem is that we are trying to somehome incorporate all parents in the ceremony and recption traditions. I am not sure how to go about doing this. We have my mother, father, and step mother, and his birth mom, his father, and his mother. We need help in all areas, walking down the isle, picture ideas, parents attire, seating at recepetion, an alternative to mother son dance, and other parent related things. I guess my biggest concern is offending a parent.

Viczaesar

Parents' attire: they wear whatever they want.

rebeccam92

Thank you for the advice, and yes we are all very close. As attire, the mother of the bride dress, should we just forget about that all together or have both step mom and mom cordinating?

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_need-major-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:0e3c00b5-2a06-4efb-8550-0e1153b5b96bPost:c8f63a81-825d-4ad5-a1b1-79cd0cadc48b">Re: Need Major Help</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you for the advice, and yes we are all very close. As attire, the mother of the bride dress, should we just forget about that all together or have both step mom and mom cordinating?
Posted by rebeccam92[/QUOTE]

As long as both are at the same level of dress, I'm sure it will be okay.

Another seating possibility is to have you, your hubby and all parents at one table.

GardenMaven

I was adopted as an infant and met my biological parents through special circumstances when I was 13.  They ended up getting married after finishing college and had two more children together, so I also have two full biological siblings.  I have been close with them for a long time now and have met all of my biological grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  I plan on inviting them to the wedding, but the parents who raised me are my parents.  So my adopted dad will be walking me down the aisle and will be dancing with me for the F/D dance.  

I see my biological parents like an Aunt and Uncle.  To me, having a F/D dance with my biological father would be an insult to the man I call dad.  And my biological parents don't expect to be honored in that way.  

I do plan on having wedding photos of our parents and grandparents from all three families. (Mine, my FI's, and my bio fam.)  I am also thinking of possibly addressing the reception with a speech about how blessed I am to have so many family members!  I have also been toying with the idea of having my bio parents make a toast.  And my biological sister is one of my BM's, though my MOH is the sister I grew up with (also adopted).

As far as pictures go, I plan on doing group photos with all three extended families separately.  Then for group photos of the parents with us, I would have my bio parents with my adopted parents for one.  And that was as far as I got on that.  (We have a ways to go yet. )

I think if you want to include all the parents in the ceremony, having them do a reading or helping with another ritual (not sure what you are doing) would be good.  Everyone I know who has been asked to be apart of a wedding ceremony have felt honored, so that would be something special that would help include everyone.  And I agree with StageManager that you should have your dad walk you down the aisle.  

GardenMaven

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_need-major-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:0e3c00b5-2a06-4efb-8550-0e1153b5b96bPost:22bbb407-1a27-45b9-97f6-135e7811fffc">Re: Need Major Help</a>:
[QUOTE]GardenMaven, toasts are speeches in your honor, so it's a faux pas to ask, or direct, anyone to make one.  ("I want you to stand up in front of my guests and tell everyone how wonderful we are, and what a great future we deserve.") Reader and Wedding Party are honors.  Anything else is really a made-up job.  GUEST also "includes" people.  They'll be thrilled to see you get married, so dont' worry about creating something for everyone to do.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>I guess I wrote that incorrectly when I said "ask" to give a toast.  More of a, you can if you'd like to.  I have never been to a wedding where people just randomly gave toasts, so I wouldn't assume my biological parents would do that.  It would completely be up to them if they wanted to or not.    </div>