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Customs and Traditions

Seeing me in my dress...

I decided that I want to be old fashioned, and I don't want my fiance to see me in my dress until i walk down the aisle at the ceremony. Everyone is telling me i am being old-fashioned and I should take all the pictures before the wedding to save time. Is anyone else waiting until the ceremony to let him see you in your dress?

Re: Seeing me in my dress...

  • We didn't see each other until the ceremony. Our ceremony was at 2, so we would have been really rushed to do all the pictures before. I have no regrets.
  • We waited until after the ceremony and I wouldn't change a thing.  Our guests enjoyed a cocktail hour while we finished pictures and it worked out great.  We did do guy and girl pictures before hand without seeing each other so that made it go a little faster after the ceremony.
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  • Fi isn't alowd to see my dress until I'm walking down the aisle. He isn't crazy about it, he hates not knowing what it looks like, but I won't budge on this. I love this tradition and plan to go through with it. To save time we're going to take pictures seperatley with our bridal party and families then before then after the ceremony we'll have the pictures of the two of us taken. My FSIL and FBIL did pictures before the ceremony and I thought it spoiled the surprise.
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  •  To save time we're going to take pictures seperatley with our bridal party and families before then after the ceremony we'll have the pictures of the two of us taken.This is what we're planning as well. There's a place at our location where we can get a picture of each of us on either side of the door holding hands before the ceremony but not actually seeing each other. We think that'll be a fun way to build the ancipation just a little more not long before the ceremony starts. I am eagerly anticipating the look on his face when I start walking down the aisle toward him.
  • I have heard both, and I feel like you should do what's best for YOU! After all, it's your wedding! I can see why people would see each other before and I know everyone says his face will be the same when you walk down the aisle but i disagree! I will not see him until I am walking down the aisle! If you don't want him to see your dress, then don't let him see it! Again, it's your wedding!! My fiance thinks he should see my dress since I picked out what he is wearing, fat chance :) BUT even if he did, he's a guy, chances are he would not even remember what it looked like :)Do what YOU want! You would rather regret something your wedding day that YOU made the choice on, then regret something that someone else decided for you :) (that's the way I've been thinking through this whole planning process!!)Good luck!
  • i am being the same way.... i actually dont know anyone that has done that yet (taking pictures before the ceremony) hes not going to see me until the I walk down that aisle.

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  • The first thing we decided was that we would not see each other before the wedding. Not the hair, the dress, the makeup, nothing. We will spend the night together the night before. My dress arrives in October and will stay at my MOH's house until the fittings. I see that it does make a huge problem with pictures. So what we are doing is taking whatever pics we can separately before hand and then doing the formals after the ceremony. We are doing a "big exit" - leaving after the ceremony and not getting congrats until the reception...that way while everyone is hooing and haaing and talking and leaving, we are already working on formals....My dad, my sis (her kids are in the wedding) and his parents will stay with us to get the formals done.We are also doing a "replay" after the ceremony. Where we can pose with the pastor and the photographer is allowed to get up close and take pics of us exchanging rings, us staring into eachother's eyes, all that fun stuff. That way all the "good" moments are captured w/o disrupting the ceremony.
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  • I love this tradition and am looking forward to FI's face more than anything on that day! I notice Wedding magazines and sites pressuring brides away from traditions just to "make the day flow better" or "not to keep guests waiting". For instance, brides will cut the cake first, so that the staff can have it cut by the time people finish eating... what is this a speed wedding?! IMO it's okay to make people wait for photos (not 2+ hours like previously mentioned), it's okay to make them wait for cake (why spend so much money on a cake to have it hauled away within ten minutes?), it's okay to take a breath and not rush through the day like your jumping hoops! do whatever you want to do! sorry for my rant there, but I've been getting a lot of opposition to my choosing this tradition... um, hello, it's fun?! is it okay if I have some fun? :) PS. bought dress and now have to deal with keeping a secret from FI (never done before) PPS. Also have to deal with not crying at ceremony (eek!), my personal goal. Planning to add a little humor in my ceremony to help.
  • We are waiting till the ceremony to see each other. I want to see the look on his face when he first sees me. I love that part of the wedding! It's up to you, but that is my preference. I have 2 photographers and one will take a picture of me and 1 will take a pic of him seeing me for the first time. 44 days till we say our I do's and i cant wait!!!


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  • I'm waiting until the ceremony. At first I thought we should do pictures beforehand, but we were just at a wedding a couple of weeks ago, and the grooms face was priceless when he saw his bride walk in (they did not see each other beforehand). I want to have that moment.
  • I wanted to do the pictures before but it was really importnat to my husband to not see me. We waited until the ceremony and he still says he wouldn't have changed a thing. I would still have liked to take the pictures all before so people didn't have to wait at the reception but oh well. Do what you want!  Don't worry about everyone else's opinions!
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  • I see the good sides of both, personally we are seeing each other privately before we take pictures, and before I walk down the aisle. Just us and the photographer...my sister did this and it was such a powerful moment for them that all of us bridesmaids waiting around the corner almost cried from hearing them cry and laugh together. The photog hid in corner of the church and she walked down the aisle towards him, and when they turned to each other they cried and kissed and hugged and talked for like twenty minutes. The photog caught it all and it was great...really special. My sister also commented that it was the only part of the whole day that they got to talk to each other privately and it was great to have time to share that moment without people staring. That being said, if this tradition is important to you, do what's right for you guys. No one will storm out of your wedding because you are taking some pictures, make your wedding what you both want it to be:)
  • I'm being old fashioned too. Our ceremony is at 2:30pm, and the guests will be served hors d'voeurs (sp?) and drinks while we take pictures. My fiance doesn't want to see me in my dress before the ceremony. I think it's sweet.But it is your wedding day and you should do it the way you want. It won't take that long to take all the pictures and people who go to weddings are used to this.
  • My grandma about how a cow when I mentioned a first look for FI and I... and in the beginning, FI was against it, too. The plan as of now is to do a first look, with just us and the wedding party, or maybe even just us and the parents. Then we can get the pictures done before hand, since our ceremony and reception are in the same place and we're not having a cocktail hour. However, tradition is still important -- and I completely echo the thoughts of all pp who say you should do what works for you. After all, it is YOUR day!
  • We're planning to take all of the pictures beforehand EXCEPT the ones with him and I together.  We'll do the family ones, the groomsmen/bridesmaids, me with the groomsmen, him with the bridesmaids, etc.  Then after the ceremony we'll take ones of us together and maybe just a handful of ones that were missed beforehand.This way we wont be stuck doing photos for too terribly long, and can enjoy some of the awesome appetizers that we are paying so much for at the cocktail hour!
  • Ditto on the bride only groom only pics before. FI adamant from beginning not to see me in dress, or at all before I enter the sanctuary. Love it, love him for it! He did see my hair/makeup trial run, though.
  • Ditto pp...FI has seen my dress, but we're still doing the "not seeing the bride beforehand" tradition. It's something we both agreed on, especially since he's seen the dress, but hasn't seen my entire "look". We'll be taking the usual pre-wedding (i.e. get-ready) photos beforehand, but the formals will come afterwards. This is something that's truly your prerogative. If you want to be traditional, go for it! :)
  • I agree with Reddy123, I really don't care about rushing to take pics on that day, because when I see his face after seeing me in a Wedding Dress for the first time, rushing will be so worth it! I am not being superstitious or old fashion I just want that day and that moment when I come down the isle to be as Special as it possibly can. Your wedding dress shouldn't be like another outfit that you put on that he's already seen. I just really want that WOW factor not only from everyone at our wedding But Mostly from the Groom!Ok, that's my 2cents..whatever you choose make sure it's what you want after all it is Your Wedding (your driving the car)...
  • it is totally an individual couple choice.  I personally wouldn't have it any other way.  There is no way he is going to see my dress, veil, tiara, jewlery, shoes any of it untill the church doors open.  I have dreamed of the look on his face for years, no way I want him to see me untill the ceremony.  We will however have time with just the two of us right after the ceremony.  I want that time for just the two of us.  the day is going to fly by whether he sees you before or not, I say stick to what you feel in your heart.
  • My fiance is incredibly old fashioned, he doesn't even want to look at my dress bag! He doesn't want to see my dress, hair, veil, boquet, etc until I'm walking down the aisle.
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  • Do what your heart tells you. Don't ask for advice on decisions you can make yourself. The last thing you want is regrets on your wedding. I personally won't let my fiancee look at me before the wedding with my dress. I believe that's one of the surprises from you to him on your wedding day. If other people want to have opinions and make decisions, tell them to have their own wedding. If they are married, tell them to re-marry.
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