Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Skipped Traditions?

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Re: Skipped Traditions?

  • We skipped having the ladie that caught the flowers & guy that caught the garter dance/put on the garter/etc. Instead we asked all the couples to dance with us to "I've Got You babe". It was more of a hit then I thought it would be! I wouldn't change anything...even the things that got screwed up!
  • For my first marriage, we skipped all the traditions and I HATED it! After it was over, it was like, what just happened? I wanted to do everything over!! This time, I am again going with a simple wedding and reception, yet I am doing what I want. For our 5 or 10 year anniversary, we are going to do a bigger bash and our kids will then get to be involved (we will renew our vows at that time!). We are skipping: -the bouquet/garter toss-dancing at all -traditional music (since we aren't having dancing, we are playing some classical tunes and some pop kind of love songs that we like during everything)-Giving the bride away and objections (even our officiant thinks it's tacky!- I mean, if you object to the wedding, you probably wouldn't be there in the first place!!!)-Idk if my dad will be able to make it, so I might be walking myself down the isle-My fiance is the only one who has actually seen me IN my dress so far-We will be spending the night together because we live together and I would totally freak if he wasn't there (see below) -oh, and I will be 28 weeks pregnant, so that is a bit non-traditional lolI learned that you have to do what is important to you and your partner. We are going with a "semi-religious" ceremony because that is what we are. The vows we looked over that were more traditional Christian were NOT us and would have felt fake. Do what you like (think about weddings you have been to and what parts you liked as a guest and what parts you hated). That has helped me. Not that your wedding should be about your guests- that's not what I am saying, but what you saw and liked/disliked will bring you back to what your style is. Good luck!!
  • Oh we are also skipping the meal (having a light meal of soup and salad instead), skipping alcohol (since I am pregnant), skipping a cake (doing cupcakes instead), and speeches and toasts unless my MOH or Best Man REALLY want to make a speech, then they can, we won't stop them- but we aren't making them do it either!
  • dmchafa, I think it would be great for you kids to "give you away" so to speak, I feel that this gets them involved in the ceremony, and brings them into the new life you guys will have. I think it'd be really cute too though.As for traditions, we're pretty much sticking to it to a tee, both my parents are walking me down the aisle and "giving me away" and I think we may be adding a Mother-in-law/ Son-in-law dance since my mother means a lot to him and has done so much (he'll do a dance with his mom too). We are doing the anniversary dance on top of some other tradtions, I think the anniversary dance it a great way to aknowldege the love that we have surrounding us for so long. We'll end the dance with Fiance and I joining in (since we'll be married the shortest)....
  • Traditions are a hot topic right now for us.... FMIL has drilled into FIs head that these traditions are simply MUST HAVES and I'm not seeing that. We ARE NOT .... -doing a religious ceremony with scripture reading and unity candle. -shoving cake in each others face -having the guys in tuxedos (taupe suits instead) -having flower girl or ring bearer -setting up games and pony rides (rec. is on my parents horse farm) for the 40+ kids coming just from his family -doing champagne toast -seeing each other before ceremony (all pictures taken before ceremony will be of us seperately so the only ones after ceremony are of us together) -having WP dance -having a receiving line -IMPORTANTLY, against FMILs wishes I refuse to wear the princess poofball wedding gown with a veil covering my face (I'd like to see my wedding with my own eyes) We ARE .... -having an outside ceremony & reception at my parents horse farm -doing a toast w/ beer steins (FI & I try new beers ALL the time and FI is German) -only having toasts given by pre-selected people (BMaid, BM, etc.) some people we know can't be trusted with a mic. -having both of my parents walk me down the aisle -having a huge outdoor cookout with various smoked meats for the rehearsal dinner -including the engagement ring in our vows -having the father/daughter and mother/son dance and first dance -having alcohol -including our 2 dogs Jasper & Lily in some of our pictures (not the ceremony though, they will be in the house and be brought out for the pictures and taken back after the pictures) -sleeping seperately the night before (he will be at our house and I will be at my parents house with all the BMs for a girls night) -having a live band -leaving out the part about anyone who objects -having a seating chart -going to have a great time and hope that everyone else does as well Bouqet & Garter toss are still undetermined ..... I say give them to the couple that has been married the longest OR dont make it exclusively for singles and give them a gift card or gift... he votes to have them just like they normally are at weddings for only single people (all 4 of them)
  • We are skipping the father/daughter dance, mother/son dance and the anniversary dance.
  • We're skipping: Bouquet & garter toss dollar dance - just plain tacky Anniversary dance - I'd love to have it, but FFIL passed away in June so FMIL will likely have a difficult time with this. My parents will be the longest married couple 47 yrs since my grandparents have passed and FI only has one left. We're keeping the Mom/son; dad/daughter dances - this will be a great time to capture this time with our parents. Since FFIL has passed, we're placing wedding photos of both our parents with the escort cards so he'll be there in spirit. (A photo of my boys - the boxers who will have also passed on by the time the wedding takes place - will be there as well. It will be one of them dressed in their bow ties for the occassion.)
    PitaPata Dog tickers Visit The Nest! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • During the ceremony we skipped:Who gives the bride away questionDoes anyone object to this marriage questionDuring the reception we skipped:PrayFather/Daughter DanceI wouldn't change anything really maybe just doing the dollar dance earlier in the night or not at all.
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker Anniversary
  • we skipped the following: Ceremony: -No religious anything (we had a judge marry us) Reception: -No posed portrait session - photojournalist all the way! -No bouquet/garter toss. I think it's tacky to force your single friends to gather like sheep on the dance floor and scramble like idiots to hope to be the next to get married. who cares when you get married, as long as you're happy -No bridal party dance. they don't know each other; it's uncomfortable and totally forced to make them dance together -NO HEAD TABLE! I hate when the bridal party is on display all night. We let the BP sit with their dates at tables that made sense for them socially. DH and I sat with a group of our mutual friends -Dollar dances aren't popular where we live (Philadelphia), but even if they were, we wouldn't have them. They put the "ack" in tacky, haha I wouldn't change a thing--- I LOVED our wedding!!
  • We skipped:* does anyone object to the marriage* garter toss* cake smashing in the faces* me having a sixpence in my shoeWe did most everything else. I would probably have gotten a sixpence if I could do it again, just because I did have something old/new/borrowed/blue.
  • Skipping: -dancing (my father and I both HATE dancing...his mother talked him into having it at my parents wedding, they made it through half their first dance before my mom was like "honey, you're miserable"...FI isn't uber into it either.  So, I'm looking for something else to do with my dad instead of a father/daughter dance.) -unity candle.  Though, I have to say, I'm not even sure if this is a "tradition" so to speak.  I heard about it for the first time from a friend who read about it on the Knot.  FI had never heard of it, and neither had any of our parents. Other than that, our wedding is going to be very traditional.  (We are hoping for a Latin High Mass.  :-) )
  • We didn't do:-Ceremony readings-Unity candle or sand-Bouquet toss-Garter toss-Grand Entry-Champagne (good money saver)-Boutonnieres (good money saver)-Traditional music-Getaway car and rice-equivalent
  • we won't be doing the garter toss (don't plan on wearing a garter), but i'll probably do the bouquet toss. I don't plan on doing the father/daughter dance, and my FH probably won't do the mother/son dance because he has some family "problems" and was raised by his grandmother instead.I hope my family won't mind me walking the aisle on my own. I have no clue what the unity candles (and now there's sand too?!) are about.we will probably pick our vows, too. I never understood the "objecting to the wedding" thing. I mean if someone didn't like it, are they really gonna speak up? What would they say? would it even really matter? sheesh.
  • skipping the bouquet toss, garter and wedding party dance will do first dance, father daughter dance, and my dad will walk me down the aisle (well the fake aisle- since we are getting married outside)... i think it is weird to ask my BM who are all married with children under age 6 to dance with my FI single buddies... so we will ask WP to join us dancing with partners of their choice, we will probably spend night beofre together bc we live together but will spend the day apart until I meet him at in front of the priest to bve married
  • This whole tread has totally eased my nerves about people's reactions to things I don't want to include in my wedding. I don't want a veil. I don't want a train. I don't want to wait to see my groom until the moment I walk in. I don't want to ask if anyone objects. I don't want to have a receiving line. I don't want to have my reception in a banquet hall (want it in a restaurant). I don't want a wedding cake. I don't want to sit at a long head table. I don't want a bouquet or garter toss. I DO want a father/daughter and mother/son dance, but not one that's spotlighted. I'd like to decide when to dance with my dad, and let my groom decide when to dance with his mom. I also don't want to make my bridal party dance with each other. I'll definitely have alcohol though. I think that's one thing for which my guests would frown on me. Ah, thanks so much for the camaraderie, ladies; I'm feeling much more secure.
    This knottie's been ransacked, suckas!
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