Who should walk me down the eisle?

Tinydancer1977

Hi there, Every since I got engaged back in march my mom has been really upset about who will walk me down the eisle. I have a dad and a step dad. Parents got divorced when I was five and I lived with my mom until she remarried my step dad. My step dad is wonderful and has been there for me every since he married my mom both emotionally and financially. Real dad has been more of just a buddy visiting me once to twice a year. I'd really like for my mom to walk me down the eisle. She is so emotional over the whole thing and she wants my step dad to be the one because she thinks he deserves it. Do I need to pick betwwen my two dad's or is it OK to have mom walk me? I would love to hear from anyone in a similiar situation or that has had their mom's already walk them. HOw was it? Any advice welcome. Thank you.

ck9586

Kinda sorta similar. My daughter's dad doesn't even get the "buddy" title--she had to initiate all contact, and then he didn't even show for her college graduation. so she asked me to walk her down the aisle. Dad's not coming after that BTW. Jerk. Anyway, if you want your mom to do it, then stick with that. Explain that you want this special mom/kid moment, that you want to honor HER for being there from day one. Even if your stepdad has been wonderful--and it sounds like he has--he wasn't there for every little thing. He came in part way through. Tell her you want her because she has all those little memories...first baby kiss, steps, words, etc etc and you want to have this one with her and her alone. She should be able to get that. And find something special for him too, but different. A dance? Maybe you can do a "thank you" quickie speech at the reception and include him specifically?

Leah&Christian09

It is perfectly fine for your mother to walk you down the aisle. If she'd rather not, it is also fine for you to walk alone. Tell her that you don't want to put down either your dad or step-dad by choosing one over the other.

Stephanie24/7

Why don't you have your mom walk you?

trix1223

My DIL had her mom walk her down the aisle (not eisle) and it worked beautifully.  Her circumstance was a bit different than yours because her dad had passed away.  But rather than her brother or an uncle or grandpa, she walked with her mom.I thought it was lovely.  Having said that, it really sounds in your post like your mom prefers for your stepdad to have that honor.As a recent MOB, I have to say that I absolutely LOVED watching my DD walk down the aisle with her dad, and wouldn't have wanted to give up that moment.  So I'd also think about what your mom is asking you.

Mouche1

Sounds like your step dad earn the title, and your mom would be so happy!!! My dad is not in my life and my mom is in heaven, so I'm thinking of walking alone or asking my BIL.

TemLo

I hope my mother will let me walk down the aisle by myself. I love my mother and i wouldn't mind her doing it, but she's conservative, and i just don't like my dad.

dmbullard

I would have been in your same situation had my dad not passed away. I always had it in the back of my mind to have both of them walk me down. My mom and dad were divorced when I was young too. Only difference is my dad was not just a buddy role, I was very close to him, I just didnt get to see him as much as i had liked to because of him being a Marine and stationed all over the place. So now the person who wil walk me down is my step dad he has been a big part of my life since i was 6 so its only right for him to do it. If its your dad and stepdad to choose from then have your step dad to the inital walk down and have your step dad bring you most of the way down hand you to your dad and have him give you to your husband to be..or the other way around. If it is your mom and step dad you have to choose from..whats wrong with having them both do it. It is your day..you should do it however you want to. The thing about weddings is you get to do it however you want, wheither it be very traditional right down to the music or you can make your own and have it so unique that you dance down the asile either way its your day do it the way you want!!!

pdiezghersy

Hey there!! I have a very good friend that had to go through multiple parental units situation. Here is how she came up with her answer. Is by any chance you dad paying for  or part of the wedding? If your answer is no , then we can see you walk down the aisle...If your stepdad contributing financially to the event? Then he might have rights just like a real father would, since he has been there though thick and thin...However, either way your mom is your mom and she has more rights than either of them...so the way she settled it was to have her mom AND stepdad walk her down the aisle...Apparently this is becoming a more normal way of doing it since so many of us come from split homes....I hope this approach helps you out!!!GOOD LUCK!!!

TheSquirrelsRWatching

I'm in a very similar situation. My step-dad raised me and my dad lives on the other side of the country and only calls on holidays. I'd prefer just my step-dad to walk me down the isle, but I don't want my dad to feel left out (he is my father after all). I have decided to have both of them walk me down the isle. My father flipped when he found out!!! He believes that only he should walk me down the isle. So far this whole wedding thing sounds like an inconvenience to his family. My step-brother (who also lives on the East coast) got married last year in October, and they came down for the wedding without any problems. So why is mine such a hassle?? I've decided to have both walk me down the isle (unless my dad decides not to attend because of how much of a hassle it is...which would be down-right sad). This means I have to make a phone call he might not like so much...and tell him to put his big-boy pants on. It's your day, so you should have whoever you feel most comfortable with walk you down the isle. Some mothers just don't feel comfortable walking their daughters down the isle. I know my mom wouldn't do it. Just sit down and have a heart-to-heart with her and let her know why you want her to do it.