Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

daddy issues

I am planning my wedding and my non existing  father is actually excited about it.... I really dont want him to walk me down or have father/ daughter dance... He  and my mom broke up  when I was 14 and  when he re-married  he  basically cut off my sisters and I and replaced us with my step moms kids...I think my mom deserve to have this honor she was the one who  worked two jobs and busted her bum to give us everything we needed.I wanna tell him this but I dont wanna hurt his feelings. I want him to be there but I want my mom  to walk me down and  have that dance. She always been there for me.  So confused.

Re: daddy issues

  • I definitely think you should have your mom walk you down the aisle if that is what you want, but you also need to handle this so that you don't close the door forever with him.  One day you may have children of your own and he may have changed into a caring person again.  Have your mom walk you down, just approach it as gently as possible. "Dad, I am thrilled that you are excited about the wedding and I am so glad you will be there, but I want you to know that I have chosen to have Mom walk me down the aisle."If he throws a huge fit at least you handled it well and respectfully. 
  • Just ask your mom if she woudl like to walk you down the aisle. Just skip the father daughter dance . Just give your dad an invite. If you are estranged this will not surprise anyone
  • I agree with another poster who said be careful, you might have children some day etc.My DD told her "father" that she wants me to walk her down the aisle but asked him to help pick a song for the father/daughter dance during the same conversation.He didn't speak to her for six months, and has now sent his RSVP card marked regrets. I've been told that even his long-time girlfriend is trying to get him to come but he's being stubborn and childish.Anyway my point is that you have to be very very careful with this. It might slam the door on a future relationship with him. My DD says she doesn't care--there was no relationship before this so what's the difference? Personally, I can't believe there's a part of her that is sad about it. Me, I'm just PO'd
  • If you think it will cause drama, maybe don't have anyone walk you down the aisle. That way it won't be so obvious your father was "snubbed" even though of course you aren't doing anything wrong.
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  • Well thank you all for the advice.. I told my older sister (MOH)  and she agrees with me. So we called him last night and told him my plans... He  understands were I am coming from... 
  • Oh thats good I'm glad it worked out for you.  Thats a tough call to make. 
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