Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Who to walk me down the aisle??

Hey everybody! I really need some advice on who should walk me down the aisle. My parents have been divorced since I was a baby and I've kept in contact with my dad but we're just not really that close. My mom is remarried but I don't think he will do it. My mom mentioned that she wanted to walk me down the aisle because we're so close and she seems pretty firm in her decision. I feel REALLY bad for my dad though and I'm pretty traditional. What should I do? I thought about having them both walk me but that might be awkward because they don't like eachother! I also thought about having my dad walk me down the aisle but have my mom come up at the end to stand with me for the "giving me away" part. Please help me! Amanda

Re: Who to walk me down the aisle??

  • There are no hard and fast rules about this.  Walk with whomever you feel comfortable or walk by yourself.  I've seen a bride escorted by her mother halfway, then her father the rest of the way.You could always walk the aisle alone too, you don't need to be escorted.  If you feel more comfortable you can walk with your FI.  If you think your mom would be hurt if your dad did it and your dad would be hurt if your mom did it, I would go it alone.
  • I think I would walk down with my mom if I was in your situation.
  • Even though you're hoping for a traditional wedding, maybe consider a less traditional option to spare feelings and ease tensions.  You could walk yourself down the aisle, walk with each parent part of the way or walk hand in the hand with the person you're marrying (this is what I'll be doing on the big day).  We'll also be skipping the "giving away" language with our parents.  Those traditions are nice, but might not be worth it if it causes you even a little bit of heartache on such a happy day.
  • Ok. just breathe! Remember that this day is about you and FI and everybody else should be mindful of this...It's your special day. I say let them both walk you down the aisle if your'e feeling bad for your dad. They should be able to come together for at max one minute for you on your special day.
  • I think it is dad's role to walk you down the aisle. As not to hurt your mum you may ask her to walk together, the three of you. I think your mum would love to see you while you are walking the aisle. You can also walk it alone and at the very last part of the aisle they both come out and "give you away". The aisle walking part is your moment and everyone else should respect your decision.
  • When I was younger, I wanted both my parents to walk me down the aisle (which is what happens in Jewish weddings - I didn't know that at the time, though). But I'm in the same boat as you - my parents haven't spoken in a good 2-3 years. Having them both at the wedding (with my Dad's girlfriend and my Mom's husband) will be tense enough. It's also a small wedding, so that's the one thing I worry about. My dad isn't very forgiving. Anyway, screw it, I'm walking myself down the aisle. I've lived on my own for about 9 years and currently live with my fiance anyway.
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  • Be your own woman and walk yourself. Then everybody will see your dress better!
  • I think that denying the mother who raised you and wants to walk you down the aisle the chance to do so, but giving that chance to the father who has never been close, is the worst of all possible answers, and "tradition" does not make it any better.  It's like you are saying that everything she has done for you does not count, because possession of a penis is the sole criterion.As I see it, your choices are:[list][*]Have your mother walk you.[*]Have your mother on one side and your father on the other.  It's only a minute, and you will be in between them as a buffer.[*]Don't have either of them walk you.  You could walk by yourself, or with your FI.[/list]
  • My dad works a pretty dangerous job, so this may be morbid, but I have always planned that in his absence, his 2 brothers (one of whom is my godfather) will walk me down the aisle. My stepfather would understand completely since he didnt become my step father until I was in college. If you have a male figure in your life that you are closer to than your dad, you can keep the tradition of a male giving you away without offending your mom. God willing, my dad will be there next year to walk me, and he is looking forward to it. (my older sister eloped!)In your case, I'd say it is fine for your mother to walk you alone. On the other hand, life changes such as marriages and children have a way of bringing people closer together, so maybe this can be an opportunity for you and your dad to really connect. One can always hope.Whatever you do, be happy about your decision and stick with it!
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