Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

money dance

Anyone been to a wedding where they have done this?  I'm from the South and a lot of people do this at their weddings.  I'm trying to decide if it's cute or tacky?

Re: money dance

  • So sorry to repost just saw someone just asked this question!
  • It totally depends on your circle of friends and family. If you all are familiar with it and you think your families would miss having it, do it. No one I know does it, so for me it would be tacky, but your mileage may vary. Good luck.
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  • no matter where you live.
  • I'm from the midwest and can't remember more than 3 or 4 weddings that DIDN'T have one.  If they are done REGULARL Y in your circle/family/community, I see no problem.  If they are not something everyone is VERY familiar with, I wouldn't do it.
  • I'm from rural America (eastern CO) and dollar dances are hugely popular. Everyone enjoys them and is happy to come prepared to bless the new couple in this way. I ditto pp--do what seems to work for you and your guests.
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  • i love the dollar dance!!!! i think i have only been to one wedding where they didnt have one.
  • It pretty much depends where you are from and your circle of friends and family. I had never heard of it until a friend of mine from up north told me about it (I'm from the South). I have to say, I thought it sounded like a horrible idea, but then again, I think that anything that has to do with asking for money at a wedding is tacky. To top it off, you're not asking for money, you're doing a dance for it. Yuck. I come from an uber traditional family where everything is by-the-book, though. I think my mother would die of a heart attack if I said I wanted to do that.
  • Not tacky. I work weddings every weekend in Virginia (near DC). They're done all the time and everyone seems to enjoy it. Wedding coordinators promote it around here. Go for it.
  • Like the girl who is from CO she mentioned they are really popular out fam is from CO (I used to live there, now in FL) and every wedding I have ever been to has one, my family expects it lol so we are having one.
  • Done at every wedding I've ever been to (NJ and AZ).
  • I think it mainly depends on the area you're from. For example, in NE Ohio this is not only common, but basically expected tradition. Whereas I've heard from varies sources in other parts of the US that it's taboo. Think about all the weddings you've been to in your area and what they did. It's usually a good source to know what your region's "trend" is. But as you said, it seems to be accepted so I say go for it. I don't think it's tacky at all- but like I said, everyone around here does it and it's expected. Though I also don't neccessarily think it's cute either. If you still feel unsure, why not do what my brother did at his wedding for the Dollar Dance... Everyone that participated that was over 21 got a jelly shot.
  • I live in Alabama, which is about as South as you can get and I have never seen one of these. I think it is tacky, but I guess it all depends on your family and friends as pp's have said. Honestly, if you have to ask, you should probably skip it.
  • I am from Louisiana, getting married in Austin, and i've seen it done in both places. It is a tradition at home and is expected to happen. Usually its not the bride and groom charging to dance with them, its guests giving them a small donation as a wish for prosperity in their new life together. I have never seen it as a greedy gesture. Its a tradition that is well liked where I come from. However, my fiance is from Romania, and that is not a part of their traditions, so we may or may not have one. So maybe you should not plan one, and if your family wants to call one and gets the DJ to annouce it, then go with the flow. I was brought up to never ask for a gift, but if one is offerred, accept it graciously as a sign of respect to the giver.
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  • I'd never heard of them until I moved to the midwest. I think they are really awful. Dancing with the bride is supposed to be good luck. A bride shouldn't turn anyone down for a dance on her wedding day, and most people expect to dance with the bride. People have already brought you a gift. Probably more than one and/or given you a card with money in it. Why would you ask for more??? I guess if it is the norm where you are from then do it, but personally if I did that I would take every dollar from it and give it to St. Jude's or American Diabetes Association (those two charities are important to both of our families). I just wouldn't be able to swallow taking so much from my *guests*.
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  • We come from a family that always has them. I asked my great aunt the other day if it would be weird not to have one because it may come off as tacky. Her words were that they have done the dollar dance since my great-great grandparents. No one in our family would think it was tacky since it's tradition. She also said that it was a way to bless the couple, other than the gifts that they bring. So no, I personally don't think it's tacky and if it's in your circle I'm sure people will enjoy it! Besides when I go to weddings I don't think, geeze they're so money hungry, gift grabbing, can't get enough of a couple! I think here's an extra $10, have fun on your honeymoon! :o)
  • Besides when I go to weddings I don't think, geeze they're so money hungry, gift grabbing, can't get enough of a couple!That's an interesting point because that is usually the first thing I think.  I think "I've already paid to travel/stay in a hotel for their wedding, bought them a gift for the wedding and probably the shower and maybe even the bach party and that wasn't enough?  Now they want more?"
  • Where I am from, the Bridal Dance (essentially the same thing) is traced back to Polish/Czech immigrants, giving a dollar to have the privilege of having the last dance with the bride. Back then, they didn't have the money to give big lavish gifts like today, and the money was a gift from the community to the new couple to start their lives together. Around here if the B&G don't announce one, the guests have been know to start them. So, we had one. The difference between the Bridal Dance and a dollar dance is that ONLY the bride participates *the groom doesn't dance* and you dance a short polka with the SO far from the "strippers dance for money" mentality. (Hell if I saw a stripper dancing a polka, I've give her an extra $20! lol)So, my 2 cents: If you have some sort of connection with it, do it. If it isn't done regularly where you are from, don't do it. My friend did a dollar dance at her wedding in July and most of her family/her DH's family had no clue what it was and it was a pretty sad event. On the other hand, at my wedding it went on for 45 minutes and some people went thru the line 3 or 4 times. And FWIW, a truly classy MOH (who wears the apron to collect the money), does NOT turn people away if they don't contribute. It's meant to be fun, not another source of income.
  • We've been dealing with the same issue.  I am from Western NY and it is tradition!  Every wedding has one!  My fiance is from downstate NY where it is considered unbelievably appaling and tacky.  In the past 4 years all of the weddings we've been to are on his side and I never saw a single one, then we had one on my side and he saw it for the first time and loved the idea.  However, when it comes down to it it offends my family less to not have one then having one will offend his family.  So I think for the sake of not embarassing his family we will be avoiding this tradition. :-(
  • I was raised in Tx and have lived in GA for 9 years. I have been to a ton of weddings and every wedding I have been to in both places has had the money dance. We will be having it at our wedding. I dont think it is tacky.
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  • we did it for our wedding coz its part of filipino traditions to have a money dance
  • We are doing it. I think it is a good way to have some quick face time with your guests. A lot of knotties don't like it but I think it is more based on the weddings you have been to and the people that will be at your wedding..
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  • Some of the cutest pictures from my brother's wedding were from the dollar dance.  They are a tradition where I grew up (Ohio) and I always thought I wouldn't do one at mine till brother's wedding last year.  I know a lot of my cousins and aunts wouldn't have had the opportunity to dance with him if it wasn't for the dollar dance.  If people are familiar with them,I don't think its tacky.  YOu could chose to donate half or all to charity if you feel weird about it.Heck, at my girlfriends' weddings, a lot of us girls line up and pay to dance with the bride.  Its just fun.
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