Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Ugh, Bridal Shower

Hi Girls! Ok, so I am really not comfortable with being the center of attention. It is going to be hard enough for me to walk down the aisle with everyone staring at me! AH! LOL! How can I really get the point accross to my MOH and family that I really don't want a bridal shower. I cannot imagine having to sit there and open gifts for an hour with everyone ooohhing and aahhhing at every little thing and playing silly games...etc.. Besides, does anyone really like even going to these things? I know I dont! I just don't want to seem rude or ungrateful because my MOH is fantastic and my Fiancee's family has really pulled through with helping me out since I cannot rely too much on my own family. Any suggestions?

Re: Ugh, Bridal Shower

  • I feel the same way about the attention thing. I just have to let it be and try to enjoy what my BP want to do for me. Let them know how you feel, and they should respect you wishes. Maybe instead of a full blown shower, you can suggest a nice group lunch or something along those lines. I had to comprimise with my BP, they are gung-ho about a "fun" shower, but I talked them down from a wild bachelorette party to a BP dinner in the city. Good luck. Just know what they do is out of love!
  • I hate showers so I'm all for a bride that doesn't want one.  With that being said, I had a great time at my shower.When the idea is brought up just say no.  They can't force you to have one.  If you are worried about hurting their feelings then consider if you would rather have them be mad or if you would rather have a shower.Just be polite and kind when telling them no.
  • If your inlaws are like mine, they will act completely insulted and upset and then not want to help with anything else if you tell them no, so how about a compromise? Instead of a get-together at their house where you may be forced into ridiculous games and have everyone's full attention for a few hours, suggest something out of the ordinary... like have the party at a bowling alley, where maybe you open a few gifts between frames, but everyone is focused on their game... or have a demonstrator (cooking, make-up, etc)-- think Tupperware party-- where someone else is the center of attention, but everyone thre is still having a good time. Personally, I'm trying to convince my mom, MIL, and BMs that we should all wear TOMs shoes to the wedding (and to support a good cause) so that my bridal party can be a shoe-decorating ordeal rather than the traditional dopey games that I know me and my mom would both hate. Think outside the box and try to compromise. That's pretty much my advice to most people with most issues (wedding, or not!). Good luck!
  • Just say No thank you. My family likes showersd and does them but my sister did not want opne. She said no thank you a lot but ended up getting no shower as that is what she wanted. No thank you
  • I feel the same way about showers. I dont like to go to them and I hate being the center of attention. I also lost my mom last year so I knew the normal type of event would be hard. I talked about this with my MOH and instead of the typical brunch shower we are doing a late shower on a Saturday night. There will be music and it will be cocktails and dessert. I wanted it more of a time for everyone to hang out then everyone looking at me. That way people will be up and mingling.
  • If you really don't want one, I'm sure they will honor your wishes. I feel the same as you, and really didn't want one, but one of my BM's said "Really, let people do this for you." So between my BMs and my mom, I agreed that a SMALL shower is ok. Like a tea party luncheon. And with a guest list of about 12--the moms, the grannies, my BMs, and a couple other girlfriends. My mom at first was appalled--"No aunts? No cousins?" because that is what our family and friends have ALWAYS done. I may be willing to add a couple others, but my mom knows I am against a 40-person+ shower.  I think you can find a middle ground where it truly is close family & friends.
  • Express your concerns and hopefully they can work with you. I prefer a party type vibe rathar than a luncheon. I am going to talk to FMIL into having a wine tasting party. Maybe apps and desert rathar than a sit-down lunch or dinner, it will give it more of an informal feel. Rathar than games, they could have someone do a demonstration, such as hiring a florist to show how to arrange flowers or a chef demonstrate how to make quick and easy appetizers.
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